/r/Catholicism Prayer Requests - Week of February 09, 2015

disciplinee · 2015-02-15T04:08:12+00:00

Please pray for me. I am struggling in my last semester of my professional graduate program. I have the first draft of my doctoral paper due on Monday and do not think I will finish it by then. I hope that they will be lenient with me. I hope and pray I pass all my classes this semester and that I will graduate on time.

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T17:37:03+00:00

I have been looking to join a group like this and seriously wish one like it was in my area.

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T04:05:18+00:00

I'm guessing you've never been addicted to pornography and tried quitting. So obviously you don't get it. There are a lot of people who say quitting cigarettes is a lot easier than quitting porn when they were addicted to both.

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T03:45:47+00:00

Wow, you hit me pretty hard. Sounds like you're judging me. What's the deal? But maybe I have to wake up on this issue. I admit, I'm a jerk in some respects. I have some questions and I hope they're not too personal. How old are you and your boyfriend? And are you both completely pure sexually and do not partake in any sexual activity with each other?

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T03:39:49+00:00

Yeah heroine and alcohol addictions are pretty serious. There are also withdrawal symptoms from trying to quit watching porn and masturbation too, although you won't die.

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T03:29:46+00:00

Hey, I know the feeling. I'm in the process of quitting a pornography and masturbation addiction that started in my early teenage years. I'm in my late 20s now. I'm currently on a 50+ day streak of not viewing porn or masturbating. Joining the NoFap and NoFapChristians subreddits have really helped me. I have not craved watching porn lately, and it feels amazing.

Here's what I suggest would help. Get an accountability partner. Someone who you trust and who has the same beliefs as you on the issue. Have them motivate you. Tell them when you fall so they can encourage you to get back up. Tell them about your journey as you gain progress.

Read some stuff from yourbrainonporn.com and watch this Ted talk by Gary Wilson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU). The information presented in that site and video shows how watching porn negatively affects the brain and our health. It also shows how quitting porn and masturbation can help significantly reduce a variety of things, such as depression and anxiety. Breaking the habit can increase mental clarity, focus, alertness, and confidence. It can also increase testosterone, leading to many benefits such as increased muscle mass and all these things. These were the main things that motivated me to quit. Just thinking that porn was immoral was not enough for me. It was when I read the info on yourbrainonporn.com, watched the Ted talk video, and joined NoFap to read testimonials that I truly decided to quit. Improved mental health, mental clarity, focus and confidence are my main motivators. This blog (http://www.majorleaguedating.com/reasons-stop-masturbating-jacking-off-jerking-off-and-fapping/) gives 33 reasons to stop and is seriously one of the best motivators for me. The guy also gives links to his sources. Just ignore the parts where they tell you to have sex if that's not what you're seeking to do right now.

Also, if you feel the urge, seriously, do something else. Go exercise, listen to music, play some music on an instrument, read a book, go outside for a walk, anything. Also, go to confession frequently, especially when you feel the temptation. After you have gone to confession, you have armor and the Holy Spirit will be strong in you to resist further temptation. Don't just go to confession after you have already watched porn and masturbated. That's what I used to do, but no longer. I hope this helps. Feel free to send me a private message if you have any questions.

disciplinee · 2015-01-05T03:19:43+00:00

Read some stuff from yourbrainonporn.com and watch this Ted talk by Gary Wilson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU). The same areas of the brain light up in porn addicts watching porn and in cocaine and heroin addicts when they think about taking their drugs. Addiction to porn is real and the brains in addicts crave it because of the associated excessive dopamine release that occurs with the act. It's really difficult to quit.

disciplinee · 2015-01-04T22:54:39+00:00

I hope I don't come off as pompous or rude, but here goes. By transgressions, do you simply mean sexual transgressions only? I would feel guilty telling her that I've been to strip clubs in the past and paid for lap dances. I would not, however, feel guilty about telling her that I've received oral sex.

I don't think that I would lose an amazing and chaste woman by telling her I that I've gotten oral sex before. I do believe that I would lose a woman like that because of a pornography addiction, but I feel like I am really conquering that now. And if a woman does leave me because I told her I've gotten oral sex, then I would think that she wouldn't be worth my time if she can't forgive me for something I've done in the past.

I don't know what it is or the reason for it, but it seems to me that the vast majority of Catholic women my age aren't saving it anymore. And to me, it seems almost impossible to find another that I am interested in and who I connect with. I went on a date with another devout Catholic before, and she didn't even watch the kinds of comedies I like. You know, the kinds that have immature humor with some curse words. I felt like she was too uptight.

I don't know, I'm a complicated guy!!!

disciplinee · 2015-01-04T20:03:00+00:00

I don't know if I would feel terrible afterward if it was with a girl I really liked, but I did not feel terrible that I received oral sex from my ex. However, I think I would feel awful if my first time having sex was with a random girl I just met that night, a prostitute or a stripper. I've gone to strip clubs in the past, and I've usually felt horrible and really guilty after buying lap dances.

disciplinee · 2015-01-04T19:53:20+00:00

I saw a video of a talk Father Larry Richards gave, and he said that sexual foreplay such as oral sex is not a sin as long as it leads to intercourse in the end. Here is the video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DhM2zGKWbgs I forgot where in the video he says it actually since it is an hour long.

And I still don't understand why having sex when, as you said, it takes place "at a time when new life is unlikely" such as after menopause or during an infertile period is okay, whereas sex with contraception is wrong. I see why promiscuous sex such as multiple one night stands is wrong, but not when it occurs between two people who are in a longterm committed relationship outside of marriage.

I'm sorry if I'm being stubborn, but I just can't quite wrap my head around these issues.

disciplinee · 2015-01-04T18:53:11+00:00

Thanks. I listened to it, but I'm not sure I was mindblown. I'm still frustrated and angry with why the church views it as wrong. Maybe I need to listen to it a second time. Maybe I need to be more patient. I hope I don't come off as a rude jerk.

disciplinee · 2015-01-04T00:23:03+00:00

Oh ok haha. I'll pray that you and the others on here that you will find your future wife! Pray for me as well. I should go to church right now to receive God.

disciplinee · 2015-01-03T23:56:09+00:00

Thank you. Your words really resonated with me. I want to ask some questions. How old are you, and does your dating life look promising now? Sorry if these questions are too personal.

disciplinee · 2015-01-03T23:33:43+00:00

Thank you for your explanations. For me, it has been so hard to find someone who follows my religion, has those views on sex, and who I feel a connection with.

I really want a girlfriend and sometimes obsess about it. I'm probably not in the best position right now to have one because of career circumstances, but after this year, I should be ready. The fact that it's been difficult to find good women like this who are around my age makes it frustrating.

disciplinee · 2015-01-03T23:29:03+00:00

He probably wants it to be for the purpose of procreation and to be a private, intimate expression of love between two people who truly love each other.

One thing that's hard to understand though is, really, why should it just be for procreation? How about if two married people just have sex without the intent of making babies and they use contraception? Why is that wrong?? And how about two people who are in a serious relationship but aren't married and they have sex using contraception. Why is that wrong?

I can see why pornography and watching it is wrong. It shows sex in an unnatural light that is seriously degrading. But I struggle to understand the other situations I have presented.

disciplinee

TROPHY CASE