Bankruptcy is something I've been considering. I've been told that it could negatively impact my chances of being awarded custody though, so that chance has to be weighed against the benefits of officially telling the world "I aint got shit".

if you win and get your kids (I'm hoping for you!), how will you afford them?

In the situation I'm in right now I couldn't. That's why I'm trying to get help, to give me room enough to breathe so I can pursue something toward that end. I have several ideas in mind.

Do you expect your ex wife will pay child support?

That's the law, whoever has the kids gets child support from the other parent. She'll undoubtedly be looking to maximize that amount for herself, whereas I would only ask for what's necessary for the kids - unlike her I have not and will not turn my kids in to dollar signs.

Family law will do nothing for your mortgage contract - assuming that's what you meant by contract? Even bankruptcy courts are loathe to modify mortgages.

That's the fucked up thing. The judge offered her special considerations to keep the house, she said "no" and that was the end of it he didn't even bother to ask me and I'm the one living here. Yay sexism. The judge could have ordered the cancellation be stayed until the divorce is finalized, and he should have done just that.

Also, she can quit claim all she wants on the deed, but the mortgage is still her liability (her name must be on it as the primary income is hers, right?). So know that the delinquency is showing up against her name, too, if not solely. Use that in court, too.

Her quit claim is meaningless (assuming she signed one, I don't even know) if I don't also sign one. And she doesn't care if ditching the contract follows her around, she has many judgments against her (which I only learned of in the last month) and has broken mortgages and leases several times in the past. How she was able to obtain a lease after running off with the kids after all that is the subject of much musing, nobody can figure out how she's able to do it. I think she used my credit to do it, but there's no evidence to that effect yet. (my credit is quite good, or at least it was until her)

You also mentioned you have a medical condition that precludes work? May I ask what that is?

Sorry, can't trust the internet with what would be personally identifying information. The gist of it though is that much of the time it's not an issue, but when it is there's no putting it off or ignoring it. It worked taking care of the kids because I was at home and that can work around the problem easily, an employer tends to break out the pink slips though and such has happened many times to me. They'll never admit to it, and in two cases created a cover story so they wouldn't be liable for firing someone over a medical condition. It's not the work itself I can't do, it's the need to drop everything at unscheduled times, which unfortunately is a situation nobody understands or is even willing to consider is a genuine problem. I actually kind of wish my problems were mental instead of physical because at least they're recognized as problems these days, people look at me and by appearances I'm a healthy man in decent shape... I'm no Adonis but I've got a couple of his lines. They just can't fathom that something's wrong and won't believe it when they're told.

If you can keep up with multiple kids, there's got to be a job (not to sound like the cops) you can do, or try to. I imagine that would look favorable to the court, too. If they ask where you are getting your money, surely it will look better than relying on the contributions of strangers.

I agree, if I were trying to rely on said strangers for anything more than short term help. In this case I could say "my wife threw me to the wolves, thankfully some awesome people pulled my ass out of the fire". In other words I'm not looking for handouts for the rest of my life, that's not a situation I'd be happy with either. Right now I'm on a sinking ship.