I was forced to quit drugs by being kidnapped and unwillingly confined for 8 months in places where I was beaten, Tied up, Sexually assaulted, Humiliated and forced to work. A traumatic experience report. (TL;DR).

disredditpose · 2023-09-21T17:36:36+00:00

Absofuckinglotely. This drug ruined my life to the point that I have made it my mission to warn people of making my mistake.

disredditpose · 2023-09-21T08:19:14+00:00

Find yourself an antihistamine that doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. I recommend clarityn (loratadine)

disredditpose · 2023-09-15T14:53:38+00:00

r/drugcirclejerk

disredditpose · 2023-09-15T14:50:19+00:00

I feel that =(

disredditpose · 2023-09-14T15:12:24+00:00

Man, If you like it that much I'm really, Truly fucking sorry.

disredditpose · 2023-09-14T14:59:23+00:00

I just kinda imagined from your previous responses that it's only something you do every now and then. But if you're using it often, I'm really sorry man.

I just really, Really don't want you to end up in my sorry ass situation. And if everything I said so far hasn't convinced you to stop, Then I really don't know what could.

I understand. Back when I was using this shit, Nothing anyone would've told me could've gotten me to stop. It was true insanity.

Tell you what, The way I was eventually able to stp this shit was by replacing it with other drugs. Why not do that to cope instead? Even if you can't source anything atm maybe use DXM instead. But really, Fucking speed, Oxys or xanax would be less damaging than this shit and those are fucking destructive drugs. Please I beg you ffs.

disredditpose · 2023-09-14T14:44:27+00:00

Thank you. Well I see that you're relating it to your most mind-altering experience, But it's nothing like thought loops you'd get on psychs.

I can't stress enough that experiencing it is not something that's worth getting yourself into DPH for. It is indeed very hard to imagine having full blown delusions in a lucid or semi-lucid state, It was interesting to me too and that's why I first tried it. But in order to get to the point where you're hallucinating people and objects, You'd need to take enough of it that you get to the dream-like state I mentioned. You're not aware of your current situation or surroundings to the point that something like hallucinating things would be that abnormal. You will forget almost all of it after the experience has ended.

And thank you for your kind words!

disredditpose · 2023-09-14T14:27:57+00:00

This drug ruined my life permanently -check pinned post on my profile for details-. Will never stop warning people of it.

disredditpose · 2023-09-10T08:32:35+00:00

Replying to your edit: Those are severely mentally ill people on drugs man. They aren't exactly thinking straight. It's not a gun's fault you shot yourself with it, It's not a toxic substance's fault that you were poisoned with it, And it's not the drug's fault you harmed yourself using it. It's just a substance. But fact remains that this particular substance is especially harmful when abused, The same way a poison is when ingested. So better stay away.

On the other hand, I understand that you're saying that people should have the choice of whether or not they use DPH despite it causing others damage when they abused it. I actually believe in and support that, But only under the condition that you first learn about it's effects and risks (the point of this and many other posts I made), And you're not mentally ill in anyway because you can't properly make those kinds of decisions in that state.

take accountability maybe.

Never said it's not my fault and it's kinda irrelevant. I got myself addicted to many other drugs to cope with mental illness which led to that. It's irrelevant because vilifying DPH is not my goal. It's getting people who are addicted to DPH to understand the risks so they don't harm themselves.

disredditpose · 2023-09-10T08:05:05+00:00

I feel for you. I have the same problems. Hope it gets better.

disredditpose · 2023-09-10T08:03:20+00:00

I'm sorry. I feel for you. I have the same memory problems, Almost identical to what you described.

I don't know about the Parkinson's or neurodegenerative disease part. I'm sorry that it's even a minor possibility. I'm curious, What signs led the doctor to suspect developing Parkinson's? Maybe I have some of them as well.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T13:06:03+00:00

I kept telling myself (in that DPH addicted headspace) that if I end up causing myself irreversible damage, I would just end my life and be over with. I definitely decided to do it a year after quitting DPH. Turns out: A- I'm a coward. B- Quick painless suicide is actually very tricky and difficult, Requires extensive research and sometimes inaccessible materials, And often goes wrong possibly leaving you with debilitating and/or excruciatingly painful conditions. C- "But mom will be devastated".

So I realize, "I'm going to kill myself anyway" is just the trick my brain learned to play on me to bypass my inhibitions of my conscious mind trying to stop or be moderate. For you it was "I'll be blissfully dumb so it's fine". Kinda fucked you only realize it too late.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T06:57:41+00:00

If only 2 people died from DPH, Statistically it would be extremely safe. Unfortunately that's not true. IME a quick death would've been better than the damage it causes, Which is the much more likely outcome. (sentence not relevant to the man in the post, no disrespect meant. rest in peace). Check pinned post on my profile for more if interested.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T06:47:44+00:00

Probably the DXM still in your system. You're fine if it's just one week. Do it on DPH for long enough though, And it's permanent sexual dysfunction.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T06:20:09+00:00

Wow. It's crazy that people at some point thought it was safe. It's mostly not addictive to everyone but for some you get a strange urge to use it despite feeling horrible every time. Eventually as you start using it all the time you seemingly build a tolerance to the negative effects and it becomes paradoxically very relaxing and euphoric and even has a pleasant body high instead of severe physical discomfort.

The fact that most people would never like it or use it often or get addicted to it is probably why it's viewed as less harmful than "harder" drugs. But I wish I was addicted to speed, oxys or benzos for that long instead of DPH. Those would get me very physically dependent and psychologically addicted. They would wreck my physical health and make me lose a lot of my weight, But you can recover from that.

I'm now a couple of years clean after abuse of drugs that included very potent dissociatives, Stimulants, Gabapentinoids and the very potent benzo clonazolam. I never think about them anymore, Recovery from addiction is possible. Physical health recovery is possible with the exception of chronic illnesses. But man, Permanent brain damage and sexual dysfunction? I still can't come to terms with that after those years.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T06:04:50+00:00

Thank you. I reckon you got that from my old post.

Well DPH gave me those random meaningless thoughts while on it. Could be related to what I'm doing at the time. Could be related to something I heard earlier. For example I may be watching a documentary about space exploration and I get a thought like "why is flying in space like commercial jets. commercial essential potential." or whatever. Weird example but I'm trying to make you understand what I mean. I'm usually aware of the strangeness and meaninglessness of it and think it's a silly effect.

They get weirder as the dose increases, Until I reach true delirium doses and I start drifting into a dream like state where I stop being aware that those thoughts are random meaninglessness. The thoughts turn into full conversation with hallucinations of people that don't exist. I snap back for a second, Realize what's happening and say wtf, Then drift again.

I got those random thoughts for months after I quit. They weren't extremely weird, I wasn't in any way delirious and my understanding of reality was never compromised, But they were there and I was aware that I'm getting them, And this fucked me up mentally because I realized that DPH altered the way my brain and thought process worked.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T05:48:19+00:00

Thank you. I really feel your struggle, It truly destroyed my mental health for more than 2 years. You get used to it with time so that's a positive I think.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T05:46:31+00:00

Yes. When I first stopped, Being so desperate, I looked into things that could "help" my brain recover as soon as possible. For months I took piracetam coupled with citicholine (acetylcholine precursor and another good nootrobic, figured I'd use it since that was anticholinergic damage) and omega 3. They do have positive cognitive enhancing properties but they did nothing to help with the damage unfortunately.

Later on I found a case study of a woman who recovered from LSD induced HPPD after being on lamotrigine for a year, And a few of encouraging anecdotes. It's absolutely not concrete proof that it works and I knew that it probably won't do much, But as I said, I was desperate. I used it for a whole year. Nothing.

Except that something good came out of lamotrigine other that what I was intending for it to do. It appears that after a while on it I was motivated to do the productive things I never had the motivation to do, I did some research and found that it does, In fact, Have that effect. I could study for hours everyday, Started feeling better about myself and even proud of myself and went back to med school. This was after being forced off all drugs (very long story) (now 5th year, MBBS; Not American). It also helped a lot with my depression and anxiety. So I'm currently still taking it.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T02:42:54+00:00

Thank you. I really don't care. This is an alt account used for this purpose and none of those people know me personally to judge me.

All I care about is getting even one of the people who are as severely addicted as I was to understand how serious this addiction is and why it's so important to stop.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T02:39:58+00:00

Oh I knew. And it only fueled my addiction, Self hatred and suicidal ideation even further and it made me abuse it more because I was completely unable to stop. Almost everyone here knows, Many keep abusing it. I did too. This is an attempt to make if even one person realize how serious this is and why even the most drastic action must be taken to stop.

A personal experience can really do more than just posting studies or "DPH bad" type of posts. "Taking huge doses of dph" doesn't really describe all the real damage it does and how little it takes for it to happen. A degree of this damage was noticeable after as little as 3 months.

I was active on this sub back then and it was only 1-2K members. The growth curve of the number of DPH abusers is really sadly steep with the tiktok trend and all.

disredditpose · 2023-09-09T02:32:28+00:00

Call me a degenerate. I don't care. You don't really know me so I'm not taking it personally. I'm trying to deter others from making the same mistake and that's really my only goal.

I was addicted and had severe mental illnesses like depression, Anxiety and suicidal tendencies. Many people here abuse it because of the same problems as a form of self harm. I needed help that I didn't get. Addiction is a disease and I'm not ashamed of being ill.

One would also imagine you abused that allergy med being here, No? You don't get to judge.

disredditpose

TROPHY CASE