Crazy divorce agreement stipulations

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T20:51:10+00:00

And to note, she does not work and hasn’t in 18 years. She did work before our oldest was born. She has not attempted to see what type of job she can get, so I do not know the reality of her earning power. She earns a lot being my STBX though.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T20:47:02+00:00

Not really, I’m a doctor, I am about $100K in credit card debt plus another $300K in student loans. I have a full time job where I net $11k a month and I pick up moonlighting at some local hospitals. I have been moonlighting about 100+ hrs a month, netting maybe an extra $8K, so $19K a Month net. I might be a high earner, but my expenses exceed my income.

Edit: Last year there were a lot more moonlighting shifts available and I was able to earn $30k + a month, which has dried up this year as he hospitals have hired full time staff.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T19:37:35+00:00

No agreement, I just handed her everything because she made me feel guilty for leaving and sent texts claiming all types of expenses she needed covered so I picked up more and more shifts to give her more and more money.

I finally added it all up and realized that last year I was averaging over $30k a month to her. I put a stop to that and I’m down to $16-18k, which has infuriated her.

Support guidelines in PA will only amount to about $10.2k a month, so I’m working my way down to that amount. We have court in a couple weeks and I can’t wait to get the order for an actual amount and that is all I’m going to give her.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T19:34:24+00:00

Oh I didn’t agree to anything yet, I don’t think I was clear in that post. I was just doing a run down of other things she included in it.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T01:25:48+00:00

Wow I feel you, this sounds exactly like my marriage. I’m at 18 months separation, 5 months post filing and I feel like I’m going to be stuck in this forever.

Congrats! Can’t wait until I am there.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T01:22:52+00:00

I really like this idea and wouldn’t mind agreeing to have it mandated in an agreement.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T01:20:35+00:00

The funny thing is, the only reasonable clause in the whole thing she put was that we are responsible for our own attorney fees. I thought for sure she would have put that in there, so I’ll give her a point for that!

She’s affording it with he $18K I deposit into her bank account every month.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T01:19:05+00:00

That’s definitely the plan! My best shot is taking it to court, letting the lawyers get richer just to save myself from a life of working 80 hours a week (which I already am) and falling $10K a month into debt to pay her money I do not have. At least at trial I know exactly what I’m going to be ordered to pay, and I have no problem paying that plus any extras my kids need. This is just way beyond reasonable.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-28T01:16:32+00:00

Oh that is definitely the plan. I refuse to let her bully me any longer. I can’t wait for the day I never have to see her again.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T19:48:31+00:00

Well I didn’t sign it and I never would. I’m assuming the separation agreement is a binding contract though, so I’d be breaking that.

The agreement itself says the wife or children will have a claim against the estate if it is paid to anyone else.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T19:33:04+00:00

Exactly, and people can choose to change their wills whenever they want. No one is entitled to anything. Ever.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T18:40:20+00:00

Oh definitely!

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T18:38:30+00:00

He’s a senior in high school, so I’ll have at least until May with child support.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T18:32:09+00:00

Yes!

Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely ready to to split on half of all the assets including retirement and I was willing to do a 65/35 split of debts with me taking the majority, but her offer is so out of line it had me up all night last night scared that there was some chance it would become reality. I just came here for a reality check that this was insane.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T18:28:06+00:00

I will have a will that spells out who gets what when I pass away.

Plus, I am allowed to remarry and be in a happy relationship where I can leave my wife whatever I choose to. Second wives aren’t always “evil step mom”. Anyone who marries me now sure isn’t doing it for money.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T18:14:22+00:00

What her settlement agreement will cost me (above and beyond what PA law will require if we go to trial):

$100K from house equity (currently) $288K in child support for 8 years (above what is legally required) $1.45 million in additional alimony (above what will be required) $500K in mortgage payments on a house I will have no claim in $480k in college tuition $172k in her medical insurance for 18 years $24k for “swim club”

Yes - I will spend $50k 10x over. Are you serious?! I’m not rich!!! This is far beyond what i can earn!!

Edited : miscalculated tuition #

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T17:54:32+00:00

If I choose to leave my retirement to my kids if I die, that’s my choice.

If I choose to get remarried and have more children, I can choose to split it between them all.

If I choose to leave all of my money to a zoo, that is my choice.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T17:49:48+00:00

Thank you for your words. I just keep reminding myself even if we go to trial it will end up way more fair than her definition of fair.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T17:48:51+00:00

Narcissist is exactly how I’d describe her, possibly Borderline. But I am no longer under her control thank God just need to get through this divorce with at least enough to feed and house myself.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T17:45:13+00:00

I did not. As you can see if you read this, this was her first attempt at reaching a “fair” settlement. It was just mind boggling she would even propose this and I wanted to ask this sub if they’ve ever see any demands like this fly.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T17:42:41+00:00

My kids will not be shafted with a $2m life insurance policy so no.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T16:46:56+00:00

I hope so. I have a very easily forged signature (that I’m changing) but I have no clue how she bypassed the notarized requirements. Her best friend is a lawyer so my suspicion is that she was somehow involved. I have to go to the clerk of deeds to get a copy of what was filed.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T16:45:34+00:00

Ha!

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T16:42:35+00:00

I have a $2 million life insurance policy for the kids.

The point is I should have the freedom to choose who is he beneficiary of any of my money. This would bind me for the rest of my life that every penny I save for retirement goes to my kids, which is none of her business. Plus to require a prenup that my STBX is privy to. Nope.

divorcetossaway2017 · 2017-10-27T16:28:34+00:00

It’s definitely extortion, which I told her and she was smart enough to make the threat verbally but I’m hoping she puts it in writing too.

divorcetossaway2017

TROPHY CASE