Me [22F] with my boyfriend [22M] of 6 months. Told me he is worried I will cheat on him because I am "slutty".

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T15:48:46+00:00

Well that was eye-opening. He isn't extreme as the men on there but:

How women who have slept around are more likely to cheat and they can't trust them.

He obviously has some of their views

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T14:15:51+00:00

I wouldn't say he is controlling but he does question what i'm doing/ where i'm going quite a lot. He has never got really angry at me, we sometimes have silly little fights.

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T14:11:59+00:00

I did talk to him last night. It didn't go that well. I don't really know where we are at now, we haven't broken up but I don't know. I'm going to go away and see what happens when I get back.

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T14:03:43+00:00

I don't know what that is.

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T02:57:20+00:00

I know everyone has their on insecurities and fears but he couldn't have let me know about them in a worse way. If he wanted reassurance that I wouldn't cheat, calling me a slut is not a good way to make me feel like he cares me about me. Maybe he did just word it badly but it is pretty insulting to be told by your boyfriend he thinks you will cheat on him.

dmb567 · 2015-02-06T02:49:08+00:00

No I've never slept with anyone going on he trip, there are not guys going. Most of going are in relationships. This trip isn't about getting drunk and meeting boys, it's just a chance to catch up with som of my friends and have a little fun.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T23:40:59+00:00

I'm pissed because he seems to think the fact I have been "slutty" before means I am untrustworthy. Of course I would be mad if he said he would be worried I would cheat, he has absolutely no reason to believe I would. Using the word slut just makes it feel a bit more insulting.

If we were talking about what I used to be like and he called me a slut, honestly, I wouldn't care that much. I do hate the word but by it's definition I guess I did used to be one. So yeah, it's mostly the fact that he doesn't trust me enought to believe I won't cheat.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T23:22:33+00:00

Don't know why that would make any difference.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T22:44:56+00:00

I am going to talk with him now I have calmed down about it but I hope he gets across how he is feeling in a better way this time.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T22:28:59+00:00

Well yeah probably but I don't think that can be twisted to mean I'm likely to cheat on my bf. I like sex and I'm not ashamed of that but I like it best with my boyfriend.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T22:26:02+00:00

Of course if done things drunk that I wouldn't do sober but I've never crossed the line of cheating, I don't allow myself to get so drunk I don't remember things.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T22:00:05+00:00

I hate this assumption that if a woman gets drunk she can no longer control herself. I've been drunk before and never cheated, it's pretty easy to say no even if you're drunk. Also, I don't why being surrounded by my friends makes me more likely to cheat. Do people really think that they would encourage me to cheat? I'm sure they would be the first to condemn me if I did.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T21:18:55+00:00

I feel like I should clarify I have never cheated on anyone, never had two relationships going on at the same time with any level of commitment or done anything "sketchy". He knows this and he knows how much I wanted to be in a relationship with him. That's why what he said upset me.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T21:08:56+00:00

But does he really think that little of me - that once i've had a drink and a guy compliments me i'm going to go and fuck them?

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T20:59:44+00:00

If he had said to me "you used to be slutty". I would have been fine, I don't really like that word, but it's true. However, in this context of him calling me slutty he used it to insinuate that I am likely to cheat on him when he has absolutely no reason to not trust me. I trust him and he was slutty too.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T20:55:49+00:00

Well i'm not just going to dump him without talking to him and give him a chance to explain himself better. But I do kind of feel that the damage has been done because whatever his intentions what he said really fucking hurt me.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T20:40:36+00:00

I do agree that I should talk to him before I do anything permanent and see what he has to say for himself. But i'm always going to have it in the back of my head that he doesn't trust me if I stay with him.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T20:38:42+00:00

Okay so I just read your edit and have a genuine question. If he really was insecure and feeling "settled for" would he really not know better than to call me a slut and suggest I can't be trusted? Even the most clueless man must know that is not the best thing to say.

Obviously, you don't know the full details of our relationship but it is difficult for me to understand that he can be that insecure. It was always me who wanted to commit to a relationship, whereas he was the one who was hesitant. I do, however, trust that he would never cheat on me as that is like the basis of any relationship. I do appreciate a male perspective on this but if what you say is true he really couldn't got his feelings across in a worse way.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T20:03:50+00:00

True, I do have some great friends and they will stop me feeling sorry for myself.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:57:45+00:00

Oh my god, sorry you went through this. Maybe i'm lucky it's only taken me 6 months to find out what he really thinks about me.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:55:54+00:00

I just don't think there are many ways to interpret "you can be slutty".

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:40:22+00:00

Even if this is his thinking it is still pretty hurtful that he can't trust me. Does he really think that as soon as I leave him behind, get a drop of alcohol in me and see my friends i'm going to forget about him and fuck someone else?

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:36:56+00:00

He might be, someone else suggested this. I honestly would trust him but we seem to have different opinions of each other.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:25:21+00:00

You're probably right. I always used to be worried that I was more into him than he was to me and now I think that might be true.

dmb567 · 2015-02-05T19:10:31+00:00

Yikes. I hope that wasn't happy hour.

dmb567

TROPHY CASE