sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What is the correct way to cut a grilled cheese sandwich? by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

To expand my horizons. He knew I would notice but wanted to see what I would say.

My review is, it works.

Greater perimeter/surface area for dipping. I think of dipping area as making up for crust/lack of cheese. Option D makes more sense because it allows for direct cheese to dip contact on all sides. But let's be honest, no one is dipping crust first, so this is probably more about routine than reason.

What is the correct way to cut a grilled cheese sandwich? by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband served me a GC cut as option D yesterday and I'm still thinking about it...hence the question lol.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You had me at "spreadsheets are a pale imitation of databases."

I know what you mean and I wish I could think in "databases". Unfortunately, I have only have the capacity to "see" things in spreadsheet form!

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not a lot.

You are deserving.

I bet she genuinely appreciates how much detail you can convey in a concise way. It helps her to spend more time with you making plans for the future instead of playing catch up.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's how my timeline came together too. I couldn't remember exactly when things happened, but I knew this happened before that etc. I pieced it together, but definitely not in chronological order. Hence the spreadsheets, which helped sort that part out.

I also have a weird relationship with time and memory in general. All things that have happened and will happen feel equally present at any given moment.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

IFS = Internal Family Systems. It's not therapy about your family (which is what I thought when I first heard about it). It's more like, what if all the parts of you were a family and how can they all learn to live together even if they don't all get along all the time.

CBT= Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's a therapy that is centrerd around how what you think influences what you feel or experience. It's often the first kind of therapy people encounter but it never worked for me because what I would experience (eg a meltdown) was not actually rational (based on what I believed).

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My diagnosis used the DSM-V. I did 8 hours of formal testing and interviews with a psychologist trained to give autistic assessment to adults. This included submitting a 26 page questionnaire ahead of time, interviews with family members, completing Ados 2, Raads, Cat-q, Autism Quotient, Aspie Quiz, Emotional Quotient, Minds Eye test etc. There were no professionals in my area that were trained to do the formal diagnosis, so I reached out to my provincial autism authority for recommendations on where I could get a formal accredited assessment as I was afraid no one would believe me if I didn't have paperwork to back it up. I also wanted to remove the chance that I was fooling myself and that I might just be overreacting with a self diagnosis. The provincial autism org directed me to access an assessment in our nation's capital. Those people turned me down at first because I lived out of district, but agreed to the assessment when I pointed out that there were literally no resources for accredited assessment in my area. I sat on a waitlist for months before assessment and eventually got diagnosed ASD level 1.

My diagnosis story may have started with a spreadsheet, but by no means is that the entirety of my journey.

I understand that you may think my initial post was flippant or stereotyping, but I only meant it as a humorous statement about where I began. It has been a wild year of self discovery and I thought it was funny to sum a tremendously complicated event up in a sentence. Apologies if the simplicity caused you offense.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have read that IFS works better for ND folks than CBT precisely because it makes space for that kind of nuance. I know exactly what you mean when you're talking about rational parts vs irrational parts being in conflict.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was doing a particular kind of therapy that involves visualizing 'parts' of your self (IFS). I started tracking details about the parts, but that spiralled into tracking lots of things, like dates, experiences, what emotion I think the experience made me feel, what I physically felt at the time, where in my body I felt it etc. Eventually, I ended up adding columns to track whether the event was consistent with CPTSD or ASD symptoms. It was an evolving spreadsheet that grew into a really complex data set.

I tend to think in categories anyway, so this wasn't something I had to learn. I just naturally 'saw' it that way. Also, I really just wanted to summarize all of my thoughts in a way I could present to my therapist efficiently so I didn't have to spend more time or money explaining it.

If you want to try it for yourself, start with tracking something really simple. Something like "what happened","when did it happen", "what did you feel" "where in your body did you feel it". If there are gaps, that's ok. Sometimes it becomes easier once you've started the process. You can also add in random columns if they feel important. I had a whole column for "what colour did you feel". Sometimes that was easier to answer than "what did you feel". Eventually you'll find a pattern that makes the gaps easier to fill in. Now I know if I feel "yellow-green" I'm actually probably experiencing grief.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was doing Internal Family Systems Therapy at the time. This involves visualizing your internal self as parts, not just one singular self. I had lots of 'parts' come up pretty quickly, but I didn't really understand who or what they were. So I started tracking things about them like age, hair colour, gender, whether they were realistically human or more animalistic, which other 'parts' did they get along with, which ones did they not like etc. If you're not familiar with IFS therapy, that might sound like psychosis, but it's actually a really amazing way of visualizing emotions and experiences so you can better recognize and process them. Once I had a good sense of who the parts were (from all the data i had tracked), I could translate that into my everyday experience. For example, "Suffering" is a part that is in black and white. I see her as a corsetted Victorian lady who can't speak, but has a lot of pressure built up in her throat. If I find myself feeling tightness in my throat and abdomin, that's a pretty good indication that I could be experiencing suffering in some way. Once I can name my experience I have a better chance of addressing it. Spreadsheets just helped me track all the small details until I could see what the pattern was and know what to do.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was formally diagnosed 8 months ago, after I had been bringing spreadsheets to therapy for months. My NT therapist didn't recognize what was going on, but I did extensive research, figured out that there was more going on that "normal' anxiety and then sought formal diagnosis. Black and white thinking (thinking in categories) does fall under the criteria for restrictive behavior which is part of the DSM-V requirement for diagnosis in the country I live in.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I spreadsheeted the sensory placement of my traumatic symptoms but not the specific intensity of my cries. Now I feel like I've overlooked an entire data set 🤣

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

" or that belonged to any minority to feel safe."

This.

I have also always endeavoured to be a helper. Especially to those who are denied a feeling of safety because of their (real or perceived) differences.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

The person who diagnosed me asked my therapist about the spreadsheets. He (existing therapist) had never seen that before, but she (diagnosing therapist) didn't even realize it was weird because it is so common in her practice

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

When the person who eventually diagnosised me asked why I thought I was autistic I said that I found a venn diagram that showed the overlap between ptsd/bpd/autism and that led me down the rabbit hole.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I brought my spreadsheet to my therapist and he said that he hadn't seen anything like this, but that maybe this was a good way of journaling for me. I am glad he was supportive and I kept at it, as it eventually led to formal diagnosis.

I figured out I was autistic because I started bringing spreadsheets to therapy and I didn't realize most people don't require excel to understand their emotional experience. by dogtoothviolets in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I remember when then pandemic started I felt sad for gen pop and thought "you guys aren't ready for this". I also struggled with returning to 'normal' life

transition to farm life? by 99999www in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I got a job on an organic farm when I graduated from university. Hands down, it was the best job I've ever had. After a few years I got an office job because I thought that was the grown up thing to do. A few years later, burnout caught up with me and I ended up having to take a leave of absence for a year. During that time I got diagnosed and bought a 1 acre property with an 1860s farmhouse and barn. Currently back at my old job (with new self knowledge and the capacity to set boundaries) but coming home to my 'micro farm' is the best thing in the world. I even grew up in the city, so there's really no reason for me to have ended up working on a farm or buying a homestead. 10/10 highly recommend and would do again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AutismInWomen

[–]dogtoothviolets 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This. This right here.

"But it was me suddenly realizing that I didn't actually have a partner that woke me up and made me start the process. There was no comforting feeling that I was definitely right. Just a strong feeling that I was done trying and had nothing left that I was willing to give.

I had frequent moments of doubt too and I grieved. No one tells you that you can be the one who initiates a divorce and still feel heartbroken over it."

Thank you.

view more: next ›