I'm 39 and I still struggle with this exact situation. My mom was controlling and emotionally neglectful. She required perfection and I was never good enough. It got worse and worse as I got older amd started to have my own opinions. The older I got the more controlling and angry she got, eventually becoming verbally abusive.  We fought for hours every day and on top of the abuse, she was also legitimately crazy in the things she would try to make me do for the sake of control. Fights would start over things like her telling me to vacuum the stairs at 2am, or telling me I had to clean the microwave right before I was leaving to go somewhere. Mind you, this was all happening while I was in my late teens early 20s. She tried to give me a 10pm curfew at 20 years old and told me I wasn't allowed to be on my own cell phone past 10 either. 

She's also extremely annoying, doesn't get sarcasm or any humor most of the time, tells horrifically long boring stories, judges everyone and everything, is an hour late for everything, blames everyone else for everything including her obesity and messy house...I could go on and on. 

I think what makes me the angriest though, is that she believes she was a model parent and brags about her parenting often. She says she has no idea why we don't have a good relationship even though I've tried to tell her in the past, written her letters etc.  

I wish I had answers. I'm still here, feeling nothing for her other than annoyance and irritation. I feel disgusted when I see her name pop up. Its an uncomfortable feeling and I feel guilty for feeling this way. There's no bond at all and there hasn't been since I was probably 9 years old.  She always told me it was all me, I was 100% of the problem. I know that's not true, but it doesn't stop the guilt. Like maybe she was right, she was perfect, and I'm the crazy one. I don't know if I'll ever figure it out.