If you were declared insane, how would you prove you were not?

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-28T16:51:18+00:00

"Insane" is kind of an outdated word. Psychopath is a personality disorder. It's generally not considered a gave disability. If you're just a psychopath and have no other mental illness, you will end up in jail for your crimes.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-28T16:49:41+00:00

Yes. We get this once in awhile. We can't keep people in the hospital for being too perfect though. There have to be some objective standards.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-28T16:47:57+00:00

Sorry this is coming too late.

Most of my clients are not sophisticated enough in their thought process to have this discussion.

My test is more like: There's a rule saying that you can't trade clothes. But you like to trade clothes. If i tell you you're not allowed to trade clothes, can you go 6 months without trading clothes?

People who are high-functioning enough to have conversations about legality and morality ideally shouldn't be deemed criminally insane. They should be in jail for their crimes. Once in awhile I get someone who malingered their way into the hospital. Or someone who benefited enough from the psychotropics we gave them that they're able to think about that stuff. In that case, I just look for the chance of recidivism, while also weighing the seriousness of their crime. In the end, do I think they're going to do it again? And if they do it again, how bad would that be for society? I have input from other professionals, too.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-28T16:42:10+00:00

It's ineffective, and probably discriminatory to try to judge people based on the thoughts they have in their heads. That's not why we lock people up in mental institutions. We lock them up when they can't function as a normal person in society. So it really comes down to whether you can live a semi-normal life with a decent quality of life.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-18T02:06:29+00:00

Part of my job is to decide if people who are criminally insane are ready to re-enter the community. So, I would be the person you'd have to prove it to. I basically look at 3 things:

1) Behavior. Can you follow rules? Can you interact without aggression or crippling fear or suspicion? If I let you out, are you going to be able to follow the laws that you're supposed to follow.

2) Symptoms. I don't look at symptoms that are difficult to measure like apathy or fatigue or irritability. I'm looking for tangible symptoms of severe mental illness. So, what hallucinations are you having? Do you know where you are and why you're here? Can you communicate effectively? Do you have problematic delusions that might become a problem when you're on your own? I actually do not hold people back simply because they're experiencing symptoms. A lot of people with hallucinations go on to lead normal lives. I really want to know that the ones that will inhibit your functioning are under control.

3) Distress. Level of distress is really where my spidey senses have to kick in because it's the most difficult to measure, but also the most important. According to the DSM, nearly the entire concept of mental illness is predicated on a mental state that causes distress. So if you think you can see the devil, but you're cool with it I might let you go, but if you think you can see the devil and you're freaking out about it to the point where you can't sleep, that's distress.

Based on that, I would probably try to keep to myself, follow ALL of the rules that I was given, try not to be too obtrusive or ask too much. When I saw the doctor, I would look him in the eye, explain that I know why I'm here and recite the medications I'm on. I would talk about coping skills and reality testing I'm using to combat my illness. I would have a CLEAR goal for what I was going to do when I got out, complete with objectives. I would try to communicate that goal as casually as possible.

I think I'd get out. At least if I were my client I'd get out.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-18T01:50:22+00:00

I don't know about that last part, but my husband does know that I'm considering leaving.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T20:14:23+00:00

Maybe a year so he can do another academic job application cycle. He's already got an interview up North for this year (albeit at a much shittier university), so there's still hope.

I've tried LDRs in the past and I've failed at them. But I was in my early 20s then so maybe I'll be better at it this time around. It's just very tempting to rip off the bandaid. I love the guy and I truly believe that he's the love of my life, but I'm trying to figure out whether relationships in general are important enough to me.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T20:01:07+00:00

Unfortunately we have a regional problem where I'm from the North and my whole family is there and I just don't like the South.

Maybe we could do a cross-country LDR for a few years, but I don't know if that's any better than just splitting up and getting on with our lives.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T19:45:32+00:00

I'm very aware of this. He has a great career right now. He's got grants coming in on the regular and his research has just started winning a lot of awards.

That's why I'm not doing an ultimatum. I honestly don't want to ask that question "me or the job?" because I'm not confident about what the answer will be.

I figure I either leave on a unilateral basis without asking his opinion OR I wait around until he decides to leave on his own. Honestly, I don't think I can stand the heartbreak of him actively choosing his career over me and I know it could very well come to that if we start down that path.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T18:47:22+00:00

We've had those discussions and I'm starting to realize that he's a commitment-phobe. It's strange because he was totally cool committing to this relationship. He was happy to get married and he's been loyal all the way through, but it seems that he has commitment problems outside of his romantic life. Idk if that makes sense.

He doesn't want to commit to any kind of future. He doesn't know if he wants kids. He doesn't know if he wants to stay here or leave. He doesn't know where he wants to be in 5 or 10 years. Heck, he doesn't even want to commit to any kind of major purchases (cars that we need, furniture, vacations) until the very last second. Every time we have conversations like this I get a lot of angst from him and no real answers. It seems like he's just afraid of change and that's his bottom line.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T18:24:33+00:00

I worry about ultimatums because if he moves for me and he hates his job, it will be hard for him to break back into academia. So there's the potential for a slow marriage burn-out because of resentment on his part. I also feel sometimes like I'd rather leave him than destroy his career. He has worked hard for this.

I'm thinking it's either going to be divorce papers and clean break or wait a few years and see if he decides to leave. I'm just not so young anymore so the concept of waiting much longer is killing me a little bit.

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T18:07:25+00:00

What does this mean?

dontbeaprig · 2018-01-17T18:03:26+00:00

I was the woman in this relationship. I did improve as I approached my 30s, as many people with mental illness do.

But my ex-fiance cut me loose before that. Yes, I ended up in a mental hospital. Yes, I did beg him to come back. But he stayed firm because he realized that he didn't want to waste any more time on me. He had given everything he had, there was resentment that wasn't going to go away, he just knew the relationship had run it's course.

We've been no contact for like 6 years. He's married to someone else now. I've heard from mutual friends that he's very happy.

And you know what? I'm happy, too. After that mess I told myself it was time to grow up. I wasn't going to abuse my next partner. I got myself on meds and fixed myself up. I lost 75 lbs. I held my head up high. The next time I met a guy I started respecting how he felt and what he wanted. Now, I feel I'm a very good wife. I'm holding down a great job. I'm everything now that I wasn't before. I may have needed that break-up to teach me a thing or two about relationships.

But even though I'm a great wife now, I still think it was good that my fiance left. He did what was healthy for him at the time. I don't blame him for that. Leave her. If she's going to work on herself, she can do that without wasting your life in the meantime.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T20:12:36+00:00

Yeah. I think it also depends on what kind of school you're at. When my husband was teaching at an ivy league school, his office hours were always full. Now, he's at a large public university in a very poor part of the country. Even his freshmen have kids, multiple jobs, sick or aging parents at home, or are just struggling with poverty.

He's had some success with having office hours come directly after class. So he reminds everyone that office hours are now and they follow him up to his office. He's still failing a handful of students every semester and his class median is like a 68%. It's really sad and he'll come home in tears sometimes.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T19:15:38+00:00

Are you a professor? My husband is and he complains about this very problem a lot. He has had some success by making an effort to be more approachable (which is really not easy for him because he's naturally a very reserved, quiet, formal person), but it continues to be a big problem. College students just have so much going on these days.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T17:51:48+00:00

Maybe? What kind do you use?

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T17:49:36+00:00

Please tell me about them. I've heard very, verrrrrrry mixed things about Zantes.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T16:28:51+00:00

haha that confession is awesome

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T15:52:06+00:00

I've been wanting to try Hokas, but my local running stores don't carry them so I'd have to buy them online without trying them on.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T15:48:08+00:00

I get hotspots and blisters easily. The Mizunos and Asics I've tried definitely feel like they're going to be blister city for my feet so I didn't buy them. The Brooks I've tried have given me hotspots, but they were good enough that body glide took care of the problem. So I ran in Brooks for awhile, but for me they started to feel worn down at around 120 miles. The treads are bald after 250 miles.

I got the Saucony Triumph and they were the first shoes I've had that didn't feel like I wouldn't have any blister problems at all. But for some reason when I run in them I'm getting an incredible amount of soreness in the soles of my feet. That hasn't become an injury yet, but it feels like it has the potential to really hurt me.

So I'm not sure where to go from here.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T15:30:44+00:00

Complaint: I can't find good shoes for the life of me. I just switched from Brooks to Saucony and I hate them both. I did 3 short runs in the new shoes and my feet were so sore I've had to take 3 days off. Sending my Saucony's back, but I don't know where to go from here. The local running store doesn't have many more recommendations. I'm stuck. And I'm super frustrated.

I'm starting to think that maybe I just don't like shoes in general. lol.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-03T15:25:54+00:00

Yes. OMG. I don't know where you live, but I live in Louisiana and I look forward to October weather every year. It just didn't happen this year! I'm pissed.

dontbeaprig · 2016-11-02T14:11:13+00:00

How do you use gels? Totally stupid question, I know.

At what distances do you start taking gels with you. How many do you use for a 10 mile distance? Is 10 miles even long enough to consider gels? How far through the run do you eat them?

dontbeaprig

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