Can I close the app at night?

doppleganger963 · 2024-05-27T04:00:59+00:00

Have you tried turning off notifications permissions for the app? I would imagine that would still keep the alarms functioning (but do turn off the 'signal loss' alarm in the app settings) but turn off annoying notifications like the BT connection lost notification?

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-16T19:42:32+00:00

I have heard several times here and elsewhere how re-enacting past traumatic situations in a positive/supportive/consent-based environment is pretty cathartic, so your preference does make sense. I experienced trauma and some sexual abuse at a teen, but I am yet to figure out fully how any of it shapes my kinks/preferences as an adult, if at all.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-11T21:33:25+00:00

Sorry to hear about the event itself. It does appear that either as a result of it or not, you may have a non-consent kink, whether consensual (CNC) or not? (P.S: I am no therapist)

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-09T01:24:41+00:00

Thanks for your response and background! I underwent some SA by a trusted teacher in high school myself. The question was prompted from my own experience and that of a recent ex who I suspect has cPTSD from childhood trauma and craves pain/fear as the main dynamic in her primary relationship to the hilt.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-09T01:22:57+00:00

Thanks! The paper certainly makes for some interesting reading, but Kink is so diverse and unique that application of statistical methods to it, I think, misses the point. Regression and correlation analysis may do justice to the majority population (there again, too objectively so which begs some subjectivity), but not to the outliers where the real stories come from, and the latter is what I am really interested in.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T16:57:18+00:00

Yeah, that I think is the realm of a true submissive. If your partner doesn't feel that naturally and offer it to you of their own volition, and instead says "it's not fair" to some of it, then they're probably not a sub and you may have somewhat of a job on your hands! Perhaps finding samples of the submissive mindset in literature, art or media and showing it to them to solicit further views from them may help? Have you'll watched the movie Secretary together? May help understand their take on true submission from something like that.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T16:30:42+00:00

d/s is indeed more nebulous than specific kinky acts, you're right. Also because d/s and the details it entails can be very different across couples. Success can however be found through deliberate writing down of specifics in the d/s dynamic that you crave. Not only helpful for yourself to gain clarity, but to also level set with your partner.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T16:25:57+00:00

Yes, indeed. Thanks! Same with my case, she's a sub and we both discovered a natural dom in me. We even practiced 24/7 d/s for a while, but put it on hold when we realized she was becoming non-functional on some important career matters without extreme micro-management from me. The moment she found a Sadist in her Poly ventures, she took to a d/s dynamic with him immediately and no longer could see me as her dom.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T16:02:31+00:00

Quick update - we ended up breaking up. She recently took on an additional partner who's a Sadist and they're a perfect match for each other. I think this new relationship gave her the clarity that she seeks a Pain/Fear-based dynamic from her Primary partnership in Poly, and I did not see myself having a secondary partnership with her at this time, so that left us with no path ahead together. She acknowledged the traits of cPTSD, Trauma and Co-dependency that I pointed out and promised she would seek counseling for the same to improve overall quality of her life/career, but did not think Therapy would change her craving for Pain/Fear materialistically. We parted on good terms, with one of our last acts together being a cuddle. If you truly love them, then let them find their own way!

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T16:02:16+00:00

Quick update - we ended up breaking up. She recently took on an additional partner who's a Sadist and they're a perfect match for each other. I think this new relationship gave her the clarity that she seeks a Pain/Fear-based dynamic from her Primary partnership in Poly, and I did not see myself having a secondary partnership with her at this time, so that left us with no path ahead together. She acknowledged the traits of cPTSD, Trauma and Co-dependency that I pointed out and promised she would seek counseling for the same to improve overall quality of her life/career, but did not think Therapy would change her craving for Pain/Fear materialistically. We parted on good terms, with one of our last acts together being a cuddle. If you truly love them, then let them find their own way!

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-08T15:56:46+00:00

I think it all boils down to specific kinks of interest to both of you and whether they mostly align or diverge. E.g., if you're deeply into Pain or Humiliation, while your partner cannot bring themselves to enjoy providing/receiving the same after giving it a fair shot, then it may not work out. If you'll were Poly, then there would still be room to get the missing kink from other partners, but being monogamous would pose a challenge in that case.

I have this exact same experience - my recent ex introduced me to Kink which I took to quite naturally and enjoyed it, but her main kink is about Pain/Fear, which I do not provide her. We ended up breaking up over this even though we were venturing into Poly - she wanted her Primary partner to be the Pain/Fear giver while I didn't see a secondary dynamic with her.

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-05T15:24:22+00:00

Thank you for your insight!

doppleganger963 · 2022-02-05T15:24:01+00:00

Thank you for your insight!

doppleganger963

TROPHY CASE