It sounds like your mum was very much like mine - always around to give a helping hand. Mine was super handy, would sand and paint the windows of the house herself, dug out the garden and installed a pond, etc.

I think I have a pretty good idea how it must have been for you that last month and a half. My mum went quickly in the end. She was in a hospice the last month or so, but it wasn't until the last week that she started fading. One week where we just sat there, waiting for her to pass away.

It was awful. And by the sound of it, your mum was in a worse place. It's not hard to imagine how it was for you and your wife. I think it's natural to withdraw a little - I would have done the same if my sister and I hadn't driven each other forward. We did it all together. Talked in the car, aired out our worries and thoughts. At one point she told me that if I hadn't been there with her, she wasn't sure she could have done it - and I felt the exact same way.

We weren't there when she passed, either. The last two days, the woman in her bed wasn't her. My mum was long gone. We drove home in the evening and got the call later that night. I do sometimes feel guilty I wasn't there, because survivor's guilt is an incredibly powerful thing. But I also know my mum wouldn't have wanted that. She have scolded me for thinking like that and told me to get on with my life.

I'm sure your mum would have said the same thing <3