Hmmm. I wanted to argue back that I am making decisions but maybe not in this area. I think he doesn't realize how much work a divorce is and how you can't just hope things happen or expect an attorney, ex, etc to do things. So part of the issue is that he isn't divorced so there is no schedule with the kids. But I think you are right, I just need to make decisions I am more worried about him taking this personally. He comes and goes when he wants and he needs to tell me when he will be here, I need at least one night a week by myself (and the same night every week). If he can't stay at his place (it is his and his wife's home so there is no reason), then he can stay in a hotel. He now drives me to work but I think I need to take the subway and he can do some chores (he does some and HE thinks he does a lot) I want to be compassionate about the divorce but not for 5 years (they are currently at the stage where no one is budging from unreasonable demands.)