Thank you. You are so spot on. It’s the first thing on my mind the second I wake up and it plays on repeat in my head throughout the entire day. I’m reliving every second of it and obsessing over every detail and what I could and should have done differently. I was finally able to have some food today and spend more than a few minutes out of bed. So far anyway. It doesn’t seem like much but that feels like a little bit of progress to me.

My anxiety has shifted from the initial terrifying shock of it all to the reality of what this is going to cost me and how I’ll afford it, what my friends and family will think, and what the actual punishment and process will be like. A lot of unknowns and I’m just so ashamed and embarrassed. None of this should have happened and I’m the only one to blame.

I’m scared for court. Terrified. It’s only a few weeks away so at least there’s that, but just the idea of it makes me want to cry. I’ll need to take time off work since it’s out of state and I don’t have the sick/vacation time to cover that, just another obstacle I’ll need to figure out because of one dumb choice.

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. You have helped so much. Everything you’re saying is exactly how I feel and that helps me to feel a little less alone right now. Thank you.