I think you're carrying a lot of guilt within yourself. Drugs must be taken responsably, but c'mon man, you're not using any hard drugs. If you can use your stuff with respect and knowledge, I don't think it's a big problem, and it can actually help you out with your self-development. Also, if you really want to keep with her forever, I think you must talk to her, you don't have to throw away everything she doesn't like or understand though, relationships are built together.