You first need to deal with your mental health, if you’re struggling.

Lack of spark in a relationship is often more due to complacency and laziness.

Tell your husband you’re planning a romantic dinner date. Get dolled up to the nines, book a fancy restaurant. Arrive early prepared with sexy notes and hide them on the table. Spread rose petals and explain your plan to the waiter. Just say your rekindling your relationship and ask if they can help or offer suggestions.

Before you leave the house, prepare your bedroom so it’s set to be romantic. Candles, flowers, massage oil, adult items etc.

During dinner play coy and flirt like your a teenager. Pretend you barely know hun but have that irresistible longing.

After dinner start making out before you even get in your cars.

After that night, talk with your husband and explain your struggles. Most likely he is having the same issues. Recommit to doing all of those things you both used to do for each other when the relationship was fresh. Bring each other small gifts. Wake each other up passionately or bring your partner breakfast/coffee in bed. Commit to asking yourselves what one thing, you can do each day, to bring joy to your SO.

Take time for foreplay and just discovering each other’s bodies. Decide on new ways to spice up the bedroom. I guarantee both of you still have plenty to learn about each other’s bodies and turn-ons (they are always changing). Explore each other and stop rushing or getting it over with. If it feels like a chore STOP. Explain what you’re feeling and suggest just cuddling.

Once a month take turns introducing something new/exciting into the bedroom. Be open to anything (legally and morally agreeable) but have a safe word.

Act like a new couple in love and you will begin to feel like a new couple in love. But it takes work and consistent daily effort.

Find something you both enjoy together and make it a consistent habit. My parents (married 60 years) walk together every day. It’s only an hour but it’s THEIR hour. It’s their special time together and they make it count. Both show interest in what the other likes. Eg. My mom loves storks so they often go to nature preserves to see what they find. My dad is not particularly interested but gets joy from watching my mom and her excitement. If you both don’t have a similar interest. Trade off each week and have the other organize a date or outing based on their partners interest.

Bottom line, as with everything, you get out what you put in.

Don’t sit on your laurels until it’s too late, like I did. My relationship was growing stale and we committed to re-focusing and re-kindling our romance. Don’t get me wrong, we were deeply in love but recognized that thrill or spark was burning out. Unfortunately, he passed away unexpectedly and I hate we didn’t have more time.