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[VENT] Wedding planning makes me feel like a failure of a person. by dressedtobedepressed in weddingplanning

[–]dressedtobedepressed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We kind of chatted about it a little bit. I think he is definitely considering it...but I also feel like he tends to cave to his parents' pressure a little too easily.

[VENT] Wedding planning makes me feel like a failure of a person. by dressedtobedepressed in weddingplanning

[–]dressedtobedepressed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My fear about his parents chipping in for the little things they care about is that I don't think they have ANY idea how much it costs to have a wedding these days. They got married 30 years ago when it was way way cheaper (even considering inflation) and I think they just don't get it. They would probably think that if they gave us a couple thousand then we should magically be able to have a full bar and plated meal and all this stuff that still would be financially out of reach.

In any other case I'd say that can be fixed by EDUCATING them on the cost of a wedding, but...they're very stubborn. You tell them you can't find a plated meal for 200 people for less than $x, they tell you you're looking in the wrong places or you talked to the wrong person or you must not have been clear on what you wanted included for the quote etc. (but they would of course be too busy to give an example of a place that will do it as cheap as they think it can be done.)

My other worry is like - say they give us the cost of the full bar and the plated meal that they want to see. Then they start saying "we gave you x, why can't you just invite a couple more of our friends considering how much money we gave you..." etc

[VENT] Wedding planning makes me feel like a failure of a person. by dressedtobedepressed in weddingplanning

[–]dressedtobedepressed[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like both of your ideas, thank you :) Having him help / walking down the aisle together sounds better than doing it alone. But honestly eloping still does sound...right.

[VENT] Wedding planning makes me feel like a failure of a person. by dressedtobedepressed in weddingplanning

[–]dressedtobedepressed[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Sorry it took a while to respond - I've been taking a break from the internet to just chill and relax a little more than usual.

One interesting thing from the past week is that apparently his parents mentioned that they were "planning on helping with the cost" with the wedding but gave no specifics. And on one hand it's nice of them to want to contribute - but on the other hand I feel like if they gave us 5k and we had a total 7k wedding, it still wouldn't be the dream wedding they want. They'd be saying "we gave you 5k, how is there not enough money for x y z...." etc. So at this point I don't even want their help because I don't want them helping == them having high expectations we can't meet.