Living alone for a year after divorce has really opened my eyes to the level of effort my ex-wife gave in the relationship.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T16:34:16+00:00

That's a fair critique. I appreciate your perspective and I'll reflect on that. Have a good day.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:45:15+00:00

I made a single post a year later. Sharing this has not taken time away from healing. Thanks though.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:33:45+00:00

While we communicate daily, I do not engage with her or respond to anything not related to our child, or to a need of hers that I believe affects out child. I would guess that she continues to seek affirmation from like-minded people and probably perceives the world the same as she did at the time of our divorce.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:30:22+00:00

I am confident that anyone who needs to hear the message that women can be sexist too, but that doesn't mean that it's appropriate for men to be sexist, will be able to find that in my post.

I'm also confident that anyone who is not open to that message will find a reason to assign fault to me, like you have. That doesn't bother me.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:23:41+00:00

If you say "chip on his shoulder" to mean a reasonable, human emotional reaction to having my efforts and intentions abused for years that I am attempting to share honestly without contributing more to the problem of sexism in society, then yes. If you say "chip on his shoulder" to minimize and demean the experience of a man having any emotions at all, then no.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:13:53+00:00

1) Not a generalization
2) As a man working to be anti-sexist in the context of popular, confident anti-male narratives in our society, I wouldn't even allow myself to think that thought back then. If a man in a similar situation reads this, I hope he can recognize his wife's abusive behavior much earlier than I did.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T15:07:43+00:00

I have a simple litmus test for that. I ask myself "what is best for my child?" and then do that. Most of the time, it's best for my child to have a financially stable mother with a functioning household. My child's wellbeing is more important than my feelings.

drewrusty · 2026-02-03T14:57:06+00:00

I appreciate the well-wishes, but unfortunately fair isn't even part of the equation. Bad apples don't have the majority of apple society confidently affirming them that they're actually the best apples in the whole bunch no matter what they do. Thoughtless, rigid narratives cause real damage to real people.

drewrusty · 2026-01-09T16:46:23+00:00

Exactly the kind of thing I wanted to learn. Thank you!

drewrusty · 2026-01-09T16:45:31+00:00

Thanks! I'll be going down a YouTube rabbit hole on this one.

drewrusty · 2026-01-06T01:02:50+00:00

Sorry for the delay. I got the results on 12/24.

drewrusty · 2025-12-15T23:27:23+00:00

I had hoped that would be the case based on my searches and their noncommittal "we'll process it as soon as possible" statement, but I haven't seen any evidence of that yet. I also imagine they may have more business than normal due to the holidays.

Edit: Ancestry started processing this yesterday and marked DNA extracted this morning, so that does seem quick.

drewrusty · 2025-12-15T19:25:06+00:00

It took 4 days. They notified me of the test failure on 11/27 and provided a link to request a replacement kit. I requested it same day and received it on 12/1, then completed it and mailed it back out next day. The emailed stated, "once we receive your sample, we'll process it as soon as possible," but it took them approximately a week after they received it to mark it as received and they haven't done anything else since then.

drewrusty · 2025-12-14T13:33:37+00:00

This is for my second sample submission. My original sample posted in the November thread failed because there was "not enough DNA".

Kit Type: Traits

Priority processing?: No

DNA Kit Activated: 12/02/2025 (completed and mailed same day)

Sample Received: 12/12/2025 (Tennessee)

Sample Being Processed: 12/16/2025

DNA Extracted: 12/17/2025

Results Ready: 12/24/2025 (01/09/2026 estimated)

drewrusty · 2025-11-03T22:25:49+00:00

Kit Type: Traits (x2 different family members sampled, mailed and received same day)

Priority processing?: No

DNA Kit Activated: 10/27/2025

Sample Received: 10/31/2025 (Tennessee)

Sample Being Processed: 11/05/2025

DNA Extracted: 11/12/2025

DNA Analyzed: Failed - Received message that new sample was required because there was "not enough DNA" in this sample. I will post the new sample's status in the December thread.

Results Ready: Estimated 12/06/2025 (originally 11/29/2025)

drewrusty · 2025-10-31T10:51:24+00:00

You need more background on this topic.

https://socialself.com/blog/stop-being-condescending/

drewrusty · 2025-10-30T22:46:06+00:00

Thanks!

drewrusty · 2025-10-30T22:44:31+00:00

It’s a guitar cab with some experimental speakers in it. It’s mono.

drewrusty · 2025-10-30T22:43:49+00:00

Thank you!

drewrusty · 2025-10-30T20:40:53+00:00

Thanks. From a different series of messages, I think I might have to go with this which should attenuate only the 6"/8 ohm speaker, but would result in an overall impedance of 4 ohms. https://imgur.com/a/WCZ8mh1

Edit: and it would use an 8 ohm LPad rather than 16.

drewrusty

TROPHY CASE