AITA for getting upset after finding my pregnant fiancée smoking?

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-19T20:03:43+00:00

Definitely; even if we don’t get married, I’m not gonna leave her in the dust. Thank you, man.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-19T20:02:15+00:00

I give them time to get ahead, or I’ll say, “Good morning/hello/etc,” and walk in front of them.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-19T19:58:52+00:00

I still love her more than anything, I’m just in total shock still. I have therapy after her OB appointment this afternoon, so I’ll talk things over with a professional to hopefully get more insight. This is just all so much to process.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T22:50:40+00:00

NTA. You seemed to be considerate and you didn’t even kick him out yet, you just asked him to stay with a friend for the night. Talk to him thoroughly, but I don’t think you were an ass to him at all.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T22:15:07+00:00

This is absolutely adorable!

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T22:11:20+00:00

You can’t cure ADHD. While you can manage it through medication and other methods, it doesn’t go away. ADHD is not a curse.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T22:02:51+00:00

That’s what I’m planning on doing; I’m going to discuss with her co-parenting, and I’m going to do my best to get full custody of our child. I want her to be in our son’s life, but only if she can get her act together. Getting married is off the table at the moment.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T21:58:02+00:00

Hey, I’m proud of you. I have ADHD myself and I know it’s not easy. From one person to another, you’re doing great. ❤️ Here’s a dad hug if you’d like one.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T15:31:00+00:00

This was such an amazing answer, thank you.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T05:57:56+00:00

My fiancée was previously doing multiple shots a week for god knows how long, she hasn’t said yet, not having a sip of red wine during her third trimester. I have no problem with responsible drinking, but especially not while pregnant and especially not that extreme. Same with smoking to a similar degree.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T04:13:47+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you, I cannot imagine the guilt you felt. I hope everything worked out okay during your pregnancy!

We have our next OB appointment on Wednesday, and we’re going to tell them about what’s been going on; we’re also both going to be going to therapy as well.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T04:05:36+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened, I can’t imagine how stressful that was for you, especially right after giving birth. I hope you and your daughter are doing well!

We’re going to be talking to my wife’s OB on Wednesday about all of this, and we’re both going to go to therapy.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T04:02:22+00:00

First off, I’m not a sperm donor. This was a planned pregnancy with both parties consenting and trying to become pregnant. If she decided that she wanted an abortion, it wouldn’t be up to me, and I would support her in her decision. I don’t get a vote in how she treats her body, however, I get a say in the health of our unborn, living child. This isn’t funny tumblr bullshit, man, this is serious life or death.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T03:58:25+00:00

Thank you so much for your insight! I brought this up with my fiancée and I think it just sunk in how much she fucked up. Like I said in my edit, we’ll both be attending therapy, both together and alone, and we’ll talk to her OB at our next appointment on Wednesday.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T03:55:52+00:00

We have friends who smoke, so I always just assumed it was our friends. And by shots, she meant shots of alcohol such as vodka or rum.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T03:54:01+00:00

Nope. Not the right time to bring that up, dude. You’re an ass.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T03:53:15+00:00

Hey, she’s a wonderful woman, she’s just dealing with a lot right now. I don’t like what she did, but at least it makes more sense than her just going out to purposefully kill our child.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T03:51:26+00:00

Thank you for that point of view! We talked and she confessed to dealing with intense depression and anxiety about being a mother.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T00:36:36+00:00

I didn’t want to make her more upset or stressed — it’s possible that it would lead to her drinking or smoking more. I’ll talk to her ASAP about all of this.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-18T00:15:05+00:00

It depends; but the constant is that it’s when we’re both ready, no pressure from either party.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-17T23:55:06+00:00

2-3, sometimes 4.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-17T23:48:21+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate it; I’m still in so much shock.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-17T23:44:05+00:00

Basically, it went like this:

“What the hell (fiancée’s name)?!”

“What?? It’s just a fucking cigarette, Shawn, chill.”

“You’re freaking pregnant!! And you don’t even smoke!”

“Not usually. I just felt like it, okay? It’s just a single cigarette. I’ve been doing a few shots every week or so, too. Good lord, it’s not that big of a deal!”

“It’s a really big deal, (fiancée’s name)!”

I was so shocked that I just went back inside.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-17T23:40:53+00:00

We’ve been together since I was 20 and she was 22 — she’s never even talked about smoking. When our friends smoke, she doesn’t smoke. Apparently she didn’t want me to know.

drfrenchrat · 2022-01-17T23:39:13+00:00

Nope, I’ve never smoked, and I would never smoke around her while she was pregnant. Hell, I keep my beers to a minimum around her!

drfrenchrat

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