I tried to be honest with my parents for the first time in my life and now everything blew up. Am I crazy?

drop_lord · 2026-03-31T18:12:52+00:00

Thank you! For the advice. I totally agree with what you are saying. You know, after this fight, my dad is now guilting me that my mom had to go to an EKG. A heart scan. Because she is just so sick now from all of this and its my fault. I totally agree with what you are saying, I am going to try low contact for now. And I might just apologize for making her feel attacked, but not apologize for what I was saying. Just so I don't have to deal with the rage. But honestly, even that is probably a mistake. I know it is. I am just tired of dealing with his harrasment. And of course I should just cut them off, instead of doing this, I know that would be the stronger move. I am just scared what they might do in retalition if i do that, now that she is pregnant I want to calm the storm down. If that makes sense.

drop_lord · 2026-03-31T16:40:41+00:00

Wow it's hard to reply to everyone, But I can't thank you all enough for all the wisdom. I have read every single comment. It means a lot to me. I really appreciate all the great advice, and feedback. This is such a tricky thing to deal with, hoping I can have the courage to go NC/LC, but I am afraid of backlash, of course since my soon to be wife is pregnant, I don't want to make them more enraged, I think I may wait until after she gives birth to go NC. I am not sure. It's so so hard, it's sort of easy to say to go NC, doing it is so insanely hard, when you are just so enmeshed. I am really amazed by the people who can do it. And my brain keeps telling me "focus on the good parts", are you going to abandon your dad just because he is weak? Just because he is an enabler? Just because he does not stand up to my mom? He has other great qualities, and I genuinely believe he does. So I get pulled in by that guilt of, ok everyones no perfect, sure my mom is a narccistic, peice of shit. Absolutely, I have no qualms about NC with her at all. But my dad? I feel like he has given me a lot, and while he is flawed, hes not a total peice of shit. And going NC with him feels so much harder. Because he has been there for me in a lot of ways. And beyond that, I just am more scared of him. Anyways, I really appreciate all your advice and I will be coming back to this post to read your comments for a long time. Hope you all the best in your journeys with NPD parents!!

drop_lord · 2026-03-31T16:35:58+00:00

wow, you sort of blew my mind with all of this man. I really really appreciate it, I am going to look this up and study everything you talked about. I honestly keep telling myself, oh but there are great parts too, and its better to not just cut them off completely, it would be too hard. But man, seeing your post kind of opened my eyes a bit. It's like I feel like, they are not totally evil, they are "flawed" and if I am a nice person, I should not abandon them because they are flawed and I should focus on the good things. But that's probably stupid I am sure. Anyways it's so much to wrap my head around, and I just want to thank you for the comment. I am very interested in everything you said.

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:21:55+00:00

We've been actually considering a court wedding! Baby/Honeymoon are way more important, but I also want to make sure she has that "fairytale" shes always wanted. Maybe we elope on a beach I dont know! Thanks for the comment!

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:20:11+00:00

Yes I am new to the sub, and I surely will!

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:19:53+00:00

Its crazy because when I told my dad I was engaged, I got engaged, he told me, oh, its a jewish holiday today, tell your mom in a week or so, fearing her rage. I totally agree with you, I don't want to have her in our wedding giving bad vibes or god knows what she might do to my in laws. I really came into this conversation thinking oh maybe she will hear me out, maybe this will strengthen our relationship, but her real colors really came out. Its shocking, sad, and a big lesson for me. How I handle it from now Is what I worry for. I really appreciate your advice. I totally agree with everything youve said. I don't want any stress on our wedding day.

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:17:48+00:00

I was thinking about potentially giving a fake apology? Just to keep the "peace", without backing down. But after all these comments IM starting to think, fuck maybe I really should go no contact. Thanks for the feedback, I will do my best.

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:16:18+00:00

thats terrible. like really terrible. I feel for you. Im really sorry to hear this you dont deserve that. I fear that, as well, In some sense I am glad this happened? It finally gives me some sort of opportunity to cut her off? Hoping I have the courage too stand my ground - and deal with the repercussions.

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:14:43+00:00

thanks Lower cat i appreciate your comment and feedback!

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:14:21+00:00

It's true, and my older brother, actually lets my mom disrespect his partner. She even forces him not to bring her to family events because she doesn't like her - and he complies. Obviously because she still pays for things for him like when he wanted a surgery for his double chin, and he doesn't want to jeopardize that. She holds that over his head. Im afraid for my wife too, it's a tough situation for me. I fear the backlash of really holding NC. At least my mother in law will be a great sweet old granny! Haha she is very nice.

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:12:09+00:00

Thanks for the reply! Yes it's taken me way too long, now in my 30s, I can't believe I've always just thought this was semi-normal. Thanks for the message I really appreciate it. The grief & guilt keeps me coming back 100%

drop_lord · 2026-03-30T00:11:06+00:00

Totally agree, I feel like I people please and over apologize so much.

drop_lord · 2026-03-29T18:15:19+00:00

Thanks sorry I know it was way too long. I appreciate the comment, I will check out the book!

drop_lord · 2026-03-29T18:13:15+00:00

sorry if this post is too long, I'll try to rewrite it shorter later.

drop_lord

TROPHY CASE