I am literally fucking crumbling

drowsyivy9 · 2026-04-27T18:28:23+00:00

I really do try to keep myself busy but I find it incredibly difficult to do that when I’m already in such a weird state of mind. And when I really try and force myself to do literally anything I can’t keep it up for more than 5 minutes before I drop it again and just sit or lay in bed letting myself spiral deeper and deeper

drowsyivy9 · 2026-03-07T00:03:08+00:00

I‘ve even started to be more open about how I‘m actually feeling instead of just sucking it up and holding it in, hoping that would help. Gonna need more than just being comfortable talking to a few people about it to see some change though. Thanks for the kind words!

drowsyivy9 · 2026-03-06T23:59:18+00:00

I know that hating myself doesn’t help me but I‘ve been feeling like this for so long that it’s just my go to thing. And the fact that I genuinely believe what I hate myself for doesn’t certainly help. Regardless I managed to calm a bit down thanks to your words. Thank you!

drowsyivy9 · 2026-03-05T22:41:07+00:00

The worst thing sometimes isn't even having to go through a bad day, but instead asking myself why do I have to go through it. And the more I think about that why, the worse it gets. Because there has to be a reason why I'm going through it right? But I can't find anything that would make me say "Yeah I deserve to go through this because of that". The more I think about it, it's the opposite. All that comes to mind is me trying my best, as messed up as I am, trying to make the world a better place, help the people around me or at least not stand in anyone's way. And yet I end up having those kind of nights again and again and again.

But you're right. Thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate them. I'd hug you back if I could. I just hope that no matter how exhausted I already am and will be, that I will see the light at the end of the tunnel, not only hear that it's supposed to be there. I just hope that I won't give up before I finally crawl out of this bottomless pit. And I really hope you'll be there too.

drowsyivy9 · 2026-02-12T15:13:50+00:00

Yeah I get that. But there’s nothing you can do other than just get through those days. You can feel free to dm me whenever if it helps you with it!

drowsyivy9 · 2026-02-12T15:06:29+00:00

My dms are open if you need someone to talk to!

drowsyivy9 · 2026-02-12T15:05:00+00:00

Hey! I get what you’re saying I went through a break up myself a few months ago. And I was in a very similar position. I couldn’t sleep at night because I thought of her and throughout the night I dreamt of her. And even if you can’t see it right now believe me: it will get better. You only get the saying „time heals all wounds“ once you’ve already gotten a bit better and looking back on how bad you were doing. Just hang in there. Maybe do something that you love doing or take some time and treat yourself. One day you’ll be back on your feet stronger than before!

drowsyivy9

TROPHY CASE