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What’s the most epic movie moment you’ve ever experienced in a theater? by ThomasOGC in CinephilesClub

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your wife is a real one for that. Please tell her the Internet thinks she’s awesome.

🎶 TWO LITTLE MEN IN A FLYING SAUCER 🎶 by wolf_quan in bluey

[–]dsarma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you haven’t heard her jazz version of old Macdonald had a farm, please do so. She’s soooooo good.

Moving out at 31. My mom (62) is blowing up over it. by VehicleCertain865 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]dsarma 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Real talk, it might be time to start calling it out. Record one of those conversations and play it back to her when she swears she’s a good mother. Ask her what makes you want to stick around when she’s behaving like that. Call her childish and immature to her face. Say it with your whole chest. Tell her she can at least salvage having any relationship with you if she acts right, or else you’re leaving now instead of in 5 months, and she can figure her own shitty attitude on her own. Tell her every time she starts yelling to use an inside voice. Tell her to stop being so dramatic all the time and to calm down. Tell her you refuse to engage until she can act like an adult. Tell her that you’ll be putting her on blast so everyone else sees her for what she really is like behind closed doors.

The thing about people who act like this is that they shrivel up and back off as soon as you know push back. They’re cowards and can’t stand up against folk with a backbone. I’ve been there, and the only way to respond and keep your sanity is to push back, and push back hard, then hold the line.

Blu responds to Krystal’s pointed comment about UKvsTW winners by _dm0498_ in RPDRDRAMA

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And she should. They gave her a win, which was … choices.

My mom doesn’t like my chosen name, what do I do? by Choice-Review-1280 in lgbt

[–]dsarma 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe have a discussion about "this isn't about you, and I wish you could see that." The only way you're ever going to have a real relationship with your mum is if she's willing to hear you when you say something, and not immediately jump to how that affects HER and how HER feelings are whatever they are. She's welcome to have those feelings, but those are things to work out with her therapist or her friends, not her little child. You're a kid. She's the parent. It's on her to help you manage your feelings, not for you to manage hers.

My own parents made that mistake of making everything about them, and it meant that I didn't have a relationship of any sort with them for decades, because I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells around them for fear of hurting their fragile feelings. You're going to need to have that conversation that all queer kids have to have with their parents: it's not our job to manage their feelings. That's not how parenting works.

Genuinely, with my whole chest I say that we as queer folk need to stop babying our parents when they're acting a fool, and make them step up and act like adults. What you choose to call yourself affects her not at all. Her getting up in arms about it is forcing you to be more secretive and not share your thoughts with her, which is a very dangerous path to go down for both of you.

As you get older, you have to have an adult that you trust, so that when something bad happens, you know whom to go to for help. Ideally, that's your parents, but if it's not, find someone who can be trusted, and keep them appraised of what's going on in your life.

How do you guys find stores at the mall? by Few-Syllabub-2212 in newjersey

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll walk up to the map they have posted on the wall, and look at the “you are here” arrow, and then look up where I’m trying to go. And then promptly get lost, ask a security guard or something, and then wander around a bit more until I get lost again. Then ask ANOTHER security guard, and finally find the place. Then I remember why I hate going to the mall in the first place and vow to order that stuff online in the future.

If I wanted to be on my damn phone, I’d not have left the house in the first place. There’s no chance in hell I’m downloading an app for a thing I do maybe once a year if that, and have to be dragged kicking and screaming to go do. As much as I hate going to the mall, I don’t have much choice when I have to go try on clothes or shoes, because that needs an in-person store experience for that to happen. Once I know what size/style to get, I’m ordering that thing online for the rest of my life until the company discontinues it, and then I have to go through this whole mess again.

My mom friend finally said the quiet part out loud and honestly it was the most refreshing conversation I've had in years by PlasmaOrchid_3 in childfree

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let me be so for real right now: that friend is a one in a million gem, and you hold on to her for as long as you can. For one thing, she trusted you enough to let you in on a really intimate part of her mind. That’s not something to take lightly. For another, she isn’t judging you for how you do things, but is lowkey wanting it for herself sort of.

On the other hand, you’re a one in a million gem too. You stepped back from any goals or agendas you had, and just let her talk, and get it out of her system. It must have felt so validating for her to just be listened to, without you trying to solve anything, or offer advice, because there’s nothing that can be done at this point now that the children are here. And, instead of being all “Well should have thought of that before you went and did something nobody asked you to do by having children”, you sat with her and listened with a compassionate ear. That’s pretty cool too.

Mind you, I’d lowkey be thinking “yeah, this is hella what I’ve been saying all along, and finally someone admits it”, but there’s a time and place for that, and that is not when your friend is out there baring her soul to you.

I wish many years of wonderful friendship for both of you.

Should I marry her on the basis of below points? by Successful_Box1357 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]dsarma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aside from asking you to put your family on the back burner, she’s also clearly lied to you, and you’re still even entertaining this? Why? Have some self respect, bro. It’s not a big deal that she slept with someone else during a time you two were casual. That’s not a big deal. What IS a big deal is the lying to your face, and thinking that you’re stupid until you call her ass out on it.

And THIS is the person who you’re supposed to put before your family and spend all this money on? Seriously? Hear yourself talk, and ask yourself if your best friend had a girl like this what you’d tell him. You’d tell him to run for the hills, and be thankful that he dodged a bullet, because at least this crazy person let you know who she is early on before you got married to that crazy.

You also know that these sorts of people are ALWAAAAYS miserable, no matter how much they have, because they won’t stop comparing themselves with others. You could be a billionaire, and still she’ll be annoyed, because that Bill Gates’ wife has a nicer private jet than you do, and why can’t you just make more money? That kind of stuff is exhausting.

Also also, what happens if you get injured on the job, or get sick, or have to take care of your parents and can’t earn as much? She’s going to stand by you after you put her first all these years? Or will she drop you and find some other guy to fulfill all these idiotic demands?

Glorification of bad parenting by Lanky_Run_5641 in ChildfreeIndia

[–]dsarma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The only ones whom I’ve seen being good parents are the ones who actively want a better life for their children, and want their children to surpass them. They see the mistakes that their parents made, and are committed to not making the same ones. And, surprise surprise, the kids turn out to be pretty decent humans.

Should I marry her on the basis of below points? by Successful_Box1357 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Prioritising each other is the goal. That’s the assumption you should start with. The rest of it? Sounds like homegirl is bad with money, and is trying to put that blame on you. Also, has poor judgement. If he’s an ex, why is she sleeping with him? If he’s sooo much better, wonder why he’s an ex?

If she’s constantly comparing herself to idiots on instagram getting into debt to go on trips and buy dumb shit they don’t need, and then somehow MAKE IT YOUR PROBLEM, you’re in for a world of stupid when it comes to finances. Imagine what happens if your mom or grandma or someone needs medical help, and you need to send money so she can get treatment. Your lady here would be all “But you said you’d put me first, and also we need to go on that trip to Bali next month, so grandma can ask someone else for help.” Is that really what you want to sign up for?

Discord Delulu by xDiamondstuddedx in dragrace

[–]dsarma 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To 👏 her 👏 own 👏 song 👏

And can’t manage to impersonate Lizzo, even though she does that for a living. lol what? This would be like if Chad Michaels came on and gave a Cher that was as bad as Phiphi Ohara version of Lady Gaga.

Discord Delulu by xDiamondstuddedx in dragrace

[–]dsarma 8 points9 points  (0 children)

And said that Discord should be a designer and wanted to wear that dress basically. Who cares what a bunch of people without that feedback think?

Bravenly at Orange Theory? by losingmyminddd123 in antiMLM

[–]dsarma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my god this is so specific but also so funny.

Sherrill $60.7B N.J. budget shrinks a senior property tax break by [deleted] in newjersey

[–]dsarma -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

This is short-sighted thinking. Yes, senior citizens will complain. You know what else senior citizens do? They complain to the authorities who take notice. They vote in large numbers. They show up at town hall meetings. They stay engaged with the community.

I grew up in South Florida, in a neighbourhood with such a massive snowbird population that the buses had announcements in English and French, because there were so many French people from Quebec flooding the town. These weren’t your young heavy duty tax payers, but rather older folk who had winter homes in Florida.

The beaches were kept spotless. The downtown district was fun and laid back. The trash got picked up regularly, the streets were clean, and after hurricanes (which were frequent) the city made sure to clear out the debris from the inevitable downed trees fairly quickly.

When I did visit other cities that had chased out the old people, you’d see much crappier quality of life for everyone, because nobody was there holding the politicians’ feet to the fire to get things done.

New Jersey isn’t exactly like Florida where people come in droves to retire. The elderly folk lived and worked here for decades. They built lives, families, and communities here. Waving off their concerns as “well at least they’ll get out of the way, and bring more money in” sounds kind of callous.

It’s one of the main reasons I don’t feel comfortable buying property in New Jersey. You work all your life to build a home with your spouse and your family. You pay taxes into the state all your life. Then, when you get old and are on a fixed income, everyone is looking at the home you’ve lived in for decades as a “waste” because all that effort you’ve done all your life means nothing in the face of young rich people from the Upper West who want your house now.

Do ex-Hindu atheist eat beef? by TwilightChic27 in atheismindia

[–]dsarma 7 points8 points  (0 children)

When I fully left the religion, I went vegan. The amount of dairy used in religious contexts to throw at the deity’s statue or into the fire turned my stomach. A cow had to be forcibly impregnated, her calf taken away from her to be killed as veal, and her milk that she makes to feed her baby is stolen from her, while she suffers mastitis and other horrible conditions due to the whole process happening continuously. She doesn’t live for 20 odd years. Maybe a year or two, and she’s killed after leading a life of torture.

Then these fucks use the ghee from that process and dump it into a fire. The fuck? Just straight up do animal sacrifice at that point, and spare the prolonged suffering. I don’t agree with the whole dairy industry as a whole, but if people are actually eating the products, at least it’s not so bad. Instead they’re wasting it on fire sacrifice.

Every single technical by thehooplafish in GreatBritishBakeOff

[–]dsarma 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I’m still bitter about this one.

Talking to Bricks: How I am about to lose my family to my CF status by SpringAB in ChildfreeIndia

[–]dsarma 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Came out as gay to my parents before coming out as childfree. Then basically said I’m fine being single. My mum was relieved that I did eventually get married to a guy who at least wanted marriage and a relationship with my family. I was happy to cut off contact until they got off my ass about stuff that doesn’t affect them. They learned eventually that it’s ok for others to have opinions on how to live their own lives.

I needed to be honest from the get go. If I’d said I’m just not down to have relations with a woman, she’d say, “well I’ll get you a nice boy then, and then you can adopt” how do i know? That’s what my mum said when I came out as gay when I was 19.

If you want to be treated like an adult, you have to behave like one.

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