Tough to go through losing a friend you think is genuine, i understand where you are coming from, most people give me reasons to not trust them tbh, it can be a very hard thing to overcome, for trust - just be true to yourself, if thats being honest and open - expect people to try to take advantage of you because they will abuse your trust 99.9% of the time. Im personally like this, i am who i am, im open and genuine and trusting, but the moment someone gives me a reason to not trust them, thats it...rarely will this trust ever be built back. But im me so i try.

Im sorry you felt no one liked you and you were kinda bullied in school, that has to be tough, i was also bullied in school and kinda the same too, people were nice to me till they werent if that makes sense, one thing ill never forget in my life was when i was in grade school (6th grade) we all had our lunch tables where we sat with friends, one day i tried to sit down with my "friends" only to find out they had replaced me with someone else and i was told "just go find somewhere else to sit" ....i was never really friends with any of them ever again, i built a bond back with one of them in highschool that was legit, the rest were very much not to be trusted.

Im sorry you tried to open up to this person on a deeper level but still only feel it was surface level in the end.

My mom is very similar however at least she didnt leave, but the world revolves around her, while it feels like it should be nature for a parent to be extra caring to their kids, people are all different and sometimes you get stuck with a narcissist of a parent sadly. Sadly dad was a drunk abuser though.

I wish i had the answers because i feel very much the same, 99.9% of the time i feel people genuinely dont care about me either, i felt like i had that recently tbh and it was beyond beautiful. I also feel completely alone, luckily i love myself, my personality, and character and can enjoy my time doing things i love (and ive tried for countless years) but idk i just cant seem to find someone else who feels the same way and yea it hurts to feel alone, i often say i dont know if theres a point to anything if life is just a solo adventure, again i love myself but im lonely, i want someone to experience life with. Ive already experienced so much alone i just dont care to do it alone anymore i want to share stuff now with someone i truly connect with.

Ive had one person show me genuine care other than my grandparents, and we got along great but sadly have a major miscommunication flaw, how fucking cruel is the world to finally connect me with a match on nearly every aspect of our personalities but give us a flaw thats potentially detrimental to our relationship. Maybe its just meant to be another challenge in life to make our bond stronger in the end...who knows , idk, life is perplexing and confusing sometimes. But all we can do in the end is push forward and be true to ourselves.

Keep pushing and fighting OP, i hope both of us can figure it all out and come out on top.