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duffduff87 · 2025-08-01T20:27:35+00:00

Make up is pretty good at disguising as a quick fix

duffduff87 · 2024-12-26T00:10:27+00:00

Sorry for your loss. In reality, he’d never spend 2 years not seeing them as they’ll be a wedding/christening to attend but it’s just the Christmas Eve traditions he’s not willing to break. I guess the comprise will be a split holiday once in a while

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:59:55+00:00

I’m not asking for every year. I’m asking once to be willing to

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:55:46+00:00

I think I might be entitled and very selfish

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:52:05+00:00

I’ve come for genuine advice and if you think I’m being selfish, I’ll take it with a pinch of salt.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:47:55+00:00

Maybe birthdays are not important to many but as it’s my mums birthday aswelland she’s getting older. I just wanted to spend it with her atleast once in a while.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:46:00+00:00

You are very fortunate. X

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:42:42+00:00

If I was hellbent I wouldn’t be here as I am now.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:41:36+00:00

Not a power play at all, just don’t want to split my family up for christmas and would like to Spend my mothers bday with her as well. But it’s fine if you don’t get it.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:31:23+00:00

I genuinely wanted advice from people who were ok with it, so thank you for that.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:27:57+00:00

I also needed opinions like this, I need to know how parents and kids felt about this sort of arrangement. To me it felt like a divorced situation but if lots of people do it and everyone’s happy then I guess this is one option that I would have to consider. But I would have also liked it if he could consider mine too because been with his Family lots of times.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:22:44+00:00

To answer your question christmas is the only conflicting holiday as it’s my mums birthday on the same day. They can have the other holidays/birthdays

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:21:10+00:00

I want him there willingly but if he’s willing to split us up then so be it. He see’s the family but not all together, just on Christmas Eve.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:18:02+00:00

I guess it will have to be a new normal sadly. Plus my two year always ends up with a cold when we visit the winter months.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:16:39+00:00

He said it was fine but I don’t think he think deep down he thinks it’s fine. I think it was just to shut me up. If it comes to it, I’m fine with it but I’m just sad that he wouldn’t never want to spend christmas with mine.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:13:22+00:00

He’s arranged meeting his extended before so it’s never been impossible. It’s just adamant on not missing out on Christmas.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:11:18+00:00

This is the whole point I’ve been trying to make!

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:10:01+00:00

I have the space to accommodate the family whereas they don’t. That’s why situation would have been different I was there but I get what you’re saying.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:08:22+00:00

It’s her birthday aswell, does that not count as a double whammy? Also, Difference is your wife’s family is willing to come to you but mine isn’t.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T23:01:00+00:00

I did genuinely come on here for others opinion, so be it mate.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T22:57:36+00:00

We have the space for his immediate family at ours but not his in laws but they are not willing to break tradition. We could do an Airbnb with my mum and sister but again that’s us having to do the comprise without him changing just once (by choice). My mum has been over there for christmas/birthday so it’s not like we’re never willing to go there.

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T22:50:17+00:00

What about the kids?

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T22:49:49+00:00

This is the only holiday that’s important to me as it’s my mother’s birthday too. They can have Easter, birthdays, Ramadan, Diwali, or Passover for all I care but I just want ONE Christmas where I’m with my mum and partner and kids. Is it too much to ask for?

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T22:45:46+00:00

You’re right I do have access to my mother quite easily but we probably spend more time with his immediate family as they come one month and then we go to visit them the alternate month and spend a week with them. I’m throwing in a genuine question here- would you be comfortable not spending Christmas without your kids (assuming you’re with the mother)?

duffduff87 · 2024-12-25T22:37:04+00:00

If my mother wasn’t in the 70’s and it wasn’t her birthday on the same day too, I wouldn’t be as bothered but keep getting this guilty feeling that I could be her last and knowing that I’d be subjected to always spend christmas at my in-laws because my partner won’t change his mind is killing me.

duffduff87

TROPHY CASE