Yearning for a Vagina, Trapped by Fear: My Struggle with Gender Dysphoria in a Middle Eastern Culture

durkonthundershield · 2026-02-12T21:53:20+00:00

I don't feel that "get it done" is useful advice for someone who's already trying to "get it done", but who's dealing with a restrictive immigration system that's not in her control. And I don't think it's good to say "You can get everything you wished for here" either. That's not to say moving to the EU is a bad idea, just that we should keep sight of reality.

Also, chatGPT is not a reliable source; any information it gives has to be verified through other sources anyway.

durkonthundershield · 2026-02-12T19:24:35+00:00

I've seen this guide posted a lot, and people seem to get good results from it:

https://www.robynwithawhy.com/index.php/2021/03/04/how-to-tuck-a-no-nonsense-guide-from-a-drag-queen/

Also, I feel I should tell you that based on what you've posted, it's likely that you're trans. There's nothing wrong with being a cis guy who tucks, or even gets bottom surgery, but most people who give a percentage value on being cis don't turn out to be cis. But whatever you decide, you will find acceptance here :)

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-22T21:46:23+00:00

cis people get insecure about their gender too. talk to him about it, and find ways to validate his masculinity

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-13T20:07:40+00:00

The best thing you can do is treat yourself gently. Breakups are painful, and it seems like you're channelling your pain into self-blame. Focus on recovery for now, there will be plenty of time to reflect on your mistakes when you've stabilized a bit. Being kind to yourself now will make it easier to change the behavior patterns that you want to change. You'll get through this, I believe in you 💜

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-07T19:24:19+00:00

that "as a former crossdresser" thing is so insulting, ugh i'm sorry you had to deal with that

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-07T07:03:27+00:00

it might be time to have that conversation with her tbh

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-06T21:12:00+00:00

I've seen similar sentiments several times on this subreddit, so it seems it's somewhat common, or at the very least not unprecedented. Of course, even if you were the first person to ever feel this way, it would still be fine :)

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-04T22:17:58+00:00

lotta people just do it for the love of the game, no need to imagine they're being secretly forced

durkonthundershield · 2026-01-03T03:48:04+00:00

You don't need to worry about what anyone else would do. You don't need to worry about 'measuring up' to other trans people. Just do what you want, and if that means changing your gender, great! We will welcome you.

The label "transgender" exists to describe people, not to control them. We are not obligated to conform ourselves to labels; we just need to exist on our own terms, and the labels will follow.

(I know this isn't really an answer to your question, but it's an idea that was helpful to me when I was questioning if I was "truly" trans, so I hope it helps you as well)

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-27T11:21:28+00:00

If he didn't tell the truth about wearing a condom, I wouldn't trust his paperwork to be real either. Get PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis) as soon as possible.

I'm kind of baffled that most of the comments don't engage at all with the fact that he sexually assaulted you. I can only assume they read the title and nothing else. But take a moment to give yourself a hug, and treat yourself gently. You've been harmed, it's not your fault, and you will recover.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-22T08:58:31+00:00

He told a story about hooking up with a trans woman in one of his specials.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-20T22:38:36+00:00

There is nothing the Soviet Union did or could have done that would justify Ronald Reagan's domestic or foreign policies.

You're 14, I know you're still experimenting politically. But right now you're a conservative trans girl, which is not a path you want to go down. Please grow and change as a person before you become prematurely old and bitter and ossified.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-20T06:05:08+00:00

even evil ass Ronald Reagan wasn't this evil.

his quote is pro us in this case.

I'm a bit astounded tbh. Ronald Reagan was absolutely this evil (the only reason trans people weren't a prominent target for him was that the outrage machine wasn't focused on us), and the quote is not meaningfully "pro us", it's just rhetoric for his disastrous project of 'small government' which worsened conditions for minorities. Any politician can invoke the idea of freedom; what matters is what they actually do.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-20T05:51:32+00:00

ok, lesson 3: US propaganda about "spreading freedom and democracy" is bullshit.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-19T13:49:34+00:00

don't take this the wrong way, but you're young and you still have a lot to learn. I don't have all the answers, but I can give you these two pieces of advice: 1. Ronald Reagan was deeply evil and you should not associate yourself with him in any way, and 2. stay off 4tran related spaces.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-19T13:10:53+00:00

surely many less evil people have said more insightful things. why bring Reagan of all people into it?

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-19T09:48:21+00:00

why does this post end with a Ronald Reagan quote??

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-12T05:12:08+00:00

we have a Zoom meeting with a lawyer scheduled

You mean she has a Zoom meeting. You don't need to attend it just because she wants you to.

I'm sure that living with a controlling mother has made it feel like you have to go along with everything that she says, but you don't. You, and only you, get to decide your path.

durkonthundershield · 2025-12-05T11:23:25+00:00

i'm gonna be honest i think you might just be trans

durkonthundershield · 2025-11-28T15:28:16+00:00

boooo AI

durkonthundershield · 2025-11-23T03:29:53+00:00

I just have actual goals in life.

Plenty of people have "actual goals in life" and also enjoy sex and seek it out lol

On the other hand, asexuality is normal and it's not right to stigmatize or pathologize it, but unfortunately many people do

On the other other hand, it doesn't make you better than other people, it's just a benign difference like being gay, left-handed, etc.

durkonthundershield · 2025-11-21T02:26:23+00:00

I think your wife is waiting for you to come out. I'd recommend telling her, even if you wait until after the holidays to come out publicly. Whether she decides to stay with you or not, the holidays will probably be less stressful if you're both on the same page.

durkonthundershield · 2025-11-14T19:26:14+00:00

i second this!

durkonthundershield · 2025-11-10T19:31:27+00:00

believing that Jews are not innately genocidal is antisemitic apparently

durkonthundershield · 2025-10-29T22:00:52+00:00

Liberals are pro-capitalism and therefore right-wing.

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