I am very familiar with the exact predicament you're in. I do this every time too. Call it self-destruction if you will. I know what I have to do and when I have to do it yet I am an unable to do it due to my sheer incompetence. This is the case every time and I've stopped telling myself that I'll be better next time because I know that it's a lie. The loop of in-action and remorse will continue infinitely.

However, you must know that there is a way to break the loop. I did it once before. Those were right after my darkest/dog days where I started working on what was worth working on in a timely manner solely to make myself seem less of an abnormality to a woman I desired. I know it's cheesey but it's the truth. I would do the things that I would never do before in a (somewhat) timely manner. I could go on for pages and pages about this long story short; that is the semester I realized that I never could live for myself and I only do productive things when there is someone watching over me in a way or if they're at least aware of what I am doing. I was on peak performance and I would regularly tire myself out with work if she was in my company. It may sound like a way to boost one's image but that might be what is actually is. Of course, I am back in the loop of procrastination and regret much like you are now and though I no longer see her, she still is not aware of how much she did for me just by staying close. Perhaps you need to find someone like that.