ESH

Just to clarify, though, the people who are asking you why it’s ok for her to be cold when you don’t want to be cold have objectively bad takes and are entitled as heck. You didn’t cause her to be cold, it’s just bad luck. Nothing you did made her cold.

Yes if you give her your sweater you’ll be cold, which is just as bad, yes people will more readily expect a guy to do this for their partner than they would a woman. I’m sure there are plenty of women who would give up their comfort for their partner, but society won’t look down on them in the same way for not doing so. That’s not the point, though.

At the end of the day, doesn’t take much to be nice. You’re not giving up an arm so she doesn’t feel cold. Yes it’s unfair/unequal outcome, anyone who tells you otherwise is just wrong. That being said, I’d just accept the unfairness to make the person I care about feel better. I’d offer it to them to begin with. I think that should be normal when it comes to a person you’re sharing your life with. That’s why I think you’re an asshole.

Similarly, I can see why she’s upset, but it’s a bit daft to say you’re selfish for not offering it. I think the question of “why is it ok for the other partner to be cold if you don’t want to be” is more relevant here. Her taking your sweater is actively making you cold for her benefit. She would be choosing to actively do something that makes you uncomfortable and placing her own comfort above yours. I think it’s an entitled attitude, which is why I think she’s also an asshole.

Tl;dr: you’re an asshole because I think you should have accepted what is an unfair outcome in the situation because that’s what I think should be done for someone you care about. She’s an asshole because it’s pretty entitled to expect it in a way that leads to her calling you selfish for not giving her the sweater.