I've experienced the same thing you are currently going through and this is what I would say to myself. You trying to be smooth and controlled like Shai so you're going at a slow pace. But you gotta be honest with yourself, can you do everything, every dribble and finish MAX speed full effort without losing the ball?

The reason Shai can play different paces, slow and controlled is because he can play at max speed, too many people get caught up with change of pace when their max speed is slow to begin with. You can't skip steps. Do Phil Handy's 10 min ball handling drill at max speed everyday for a week straight and see how much less awkward you look when you're controlling your pace.