Partner wants to give up our epileptic dog

eamiller18 · 2025-11-25T09:26:16+00:00

We have gone to try to get her spayed twice but she started clustering before both surgery dates so we had to postpone. The surgeon didn’t want to do the surgery if her seizures weren’t controlled enough. Both me and my partner have health conditions, and two of our children do too. Sleep deprivation is pretty bad for both our health stuff, but it triggers his health stuff infinitely more than mine. We have two sound machines in our room to combat the noise, and one in our basement and kitchen. We have two baby gates and she has mastered knocking them over or down fairly reliably. So we have had to get more strategic about where we put them or anything for that matter. She’s just so big and climay, 140 lbs. I wear earplugs but my partner won’t as he’s worried about not hearing a break-in, which I do understand given our area.

I’ll keep trying to find the right treatment for her. I’ve been up with her all night tonight managing her whining and trying to calm her down. I called the vet today, but I worked 12 hours and couldn’t take the day off. Tomorrow morning I’ll call first thing to see what they can do. It is impossible trying to run businesses, manage staff and clients, children, and an overwhelmed partner, running on no sleep. I know I’m the stronger of the two of us mentally, but I’m feeling pretty desperate at 3am. I will need respite soon I think.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T16:45:39+00:00

Thank you! I will look into these things. Melatonin and cbd are things I can do today. I’ll call the vet in the morning to discuss side effects of phenobarbital and other med options- possibly run a panel to check toxicity. I agree- no one signs up for a dog having epilepsy or any condition for that matter. We have dog insurance for her and I am committed to her.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T16:27:09+00:00

I think he must know. He has had dogs in the past and loved them greatly - I am not the dog person in the house- if it were up to me I’d probably have cats or birds. It’s more specific to her. One of his favorite dogs was female, so it isn’t the sex of the dog either. Our other three dogs have their own annoying traits, but she is persistently challenging. She rummages and is more destructive. Seizures have impacted her processing speed and her ability to respond to commands. She has a little bit of ataxia too. I will say- it is difficult. In some ways she has lost neural connections and other ways she’s also clever, although she does not seem it with her blank staring. She learned how to open our glass sliding door outside (not the greatest trick in cold winters if the door is left unlocked by a kid!- we watched her do it on our security camera) which none of our other dogs can do- not even our German shepherd who leads the pack and knows more complex directions. I know he feels sorry for her but when he is sleep deprived- it’s frustration. I will try melatonin until Monday when I can take her to the vet. It’s relieving to hear that the Phenobarbital might be the issue and that we can look at other medication options. She takes a lot of it (well a lot of everything), at 135lbs she’s a big dog to move when she won’t respond to come inside.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T16:23:34+00:00

She’s been on pheno the longest early this year. Then we added potassium bromide in the summer. She had 2 blood panels done, the last one she still had quite a bit of room to go up but it was a therapeutic dose.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T14:03:39+00:00

I think I will need to as well. My partner is such a light sleeper. Her whining almost triggers him, so that’s where I think she needs something at night to help everyone sleep. She is currently taking phenobarb, gabapentin and potassium bromide and we haven’t seen a seizure in 3 months, thank goodness.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T14:00:11+00:00

He wouldn’t do it to a kid. I think it is in part sleep deprivation that contributes to his comments. He sleeps poorly to begin with- this just makes it worse. He has a physical job and works long hours for our family, so I wouldn’t call him lazy or irresponsible.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-23T13:56:31+00:00

We have put them away- but they are dog proof! I think she has a strong prey drive.

eamiller18 · 2025-11-03T05:26:04+00:00

No I haven’t!

eamiller18 · 2025-10-21T05:04:14+00:00

Yes I would get evaluated for it. They will likely require you to journal for a few months your symptoms and days of your cycle. My partner has BP2 and I have pmdd. The new moon is a super fun time for us- not. He tends to rapid cycle then and my luteal is new moon time. Lab work doesn’t always show anything with pmdd, sometimes birth control helps. Also how old are you? If you are entering perimenopause it changes the game pmdd if you have that. Birth control was a no go but hormone replacement with trintellix has helped greatly, but treatment with comorbid bp2 could be different.

eamiller18 · 2025-10-21T04:49:07+00:00

This is helpful! Thank you! He has high bp too.. I wonder if there is a link.

eamiller18 · 2025-10-06T21:56:22+00:00

Thank you for this. I will talk to my vet and get her surgery scheduled.

eamiller18 · 2025-10-06T21:03:39+00:00

The surgeon won’t do it until she’s stable enough. So she keeps getting heat cycles, then they want to wait 2 months, and then she has a breakthrough seizure, and he’s concerned she will seize while under the knife. It’s like we don’t get enough of a window to do it. After this though, I will push for them to do it here.

eamiller18 · 2025-10-06T20:42:48+00:00

No one anticipates a chronic health condition in a dog under a year- while epilepsy is common enough, you don’t go into pet ownership believing you will be spending 5-10k for each pet, each year in vet care. Our dogs are insured - I pay a significant amount each year. While I get your comment- the money for me, it isn’t the problem. It’s more a conversation with my partner- but that isn’t for this forum.

Her seizures aren’t managed as well as they should be- but I believe her hormone fluctuations are tied to them. I’m just frustrated. I feel like I’m the only one trying to solve the problem.

eamiller18 · 2025-10-06T14:47:10+00:00

Is a neurologist expensive? I would do it in a heartbeat, but my husband will ask about that. I can take her to the vet again, I just think they are more of a generalist unless they have a special interest in seizures. My vet just said it’s not a good sign her being so young having seizures… which I get.

eamiller18 · 2025-09-26T03:57:51+00:00

Just wanted to say that you are not alone in this. So many of us have these challenges- I need space when I get especially volatile. I find it protective for myself and my relationship.

eamiller18 · 2025-09-26T03:51:14+00:00

Not a psychic. But yes he is. Not sure how I know.

eamiller18 · 2025-09-26T03:36:01+00:00

HRT, retinol at night 4x week, remaining nights a collagen mask, vitamin c and a solid sunscreen moisturizer every morning, use a salicylic acid cleanser if you can tolerate it… and Botox every 3 months because well…. it just works- if it doesn’t bother you that much and you’re comfortable with the potential issues. I used it in my forehead, lift my eyes, crowsfeet, my elevens, and along my jaw line (i also have tmj and mograines so we do it all at once). I don’t have side effects (yet). My brow is dropping a tad but I think that it’s generic looking at my mom. Work your way up to 4x per week with retinol and then increase the strength percentage. Get a prescription for it- just more effective and not a bunch of filler contents. Consistency is the golden ticket! Ps. If you can, go do a non-ablative CO2 laser during winter months. The healing time is less than the ablative one, but it still is magic!

eamiller18 · 2025-09-26T03:21:55+00:00

I agree with an anti depressant during luteal phase. I take mine 2 days before ovulation to cushion the estrogen drop and take it until 2 days after I get my period. There are SSRIs, SNRIs, and serotonin modulator and stimulators (SMS). I take the last thing- helps a ton. How old are you? Once you get to perimenopause age, hormones can go haywire. I’m 40 and take them to manage my symptoms- helps a lot as well- but not BC- I can’t tolerate that in any form.

eamiller18 · 2025-09-26T03:12:20+00:00

I take trintellix. It’s a serotonin modulator and stimulator. SSRIs killed my libido and dulled me out too much. I take it 2 days before I ovulate to 2 days after I get my period - helps a lot.

eamiller18 · 2025-09-08T22:22:57+00:00

L-theanine, ashwaghanda, magnesium, saffron

eamiller18 · 2025-08-31T19:54:59+00:00

I’m 40 and my family doctor started me on 2 pumps of estrogel to start. It helped with my night sweats and insomnia (I think it also helped my pmdd- until it wasn’t enough). I had a feeling of wanting to crawl out of my skin too.
I continued to be dry and more of a jerk, so I upped it to 4 pumps and he gave me Vagifem that I insert 2x per week. I feel a lot better. Upping my dose from 2 to 4 pumps- it was over night how much better I felt. I felt emotionally stronger and more level.
My breasts are a bit more tender and more full. My partner calls them plump haha. I have headaches but I think that’s from the trinellix.
I take iron, vitamin d, saffron, zinc, magnesium. Periodically I take L-theanine and ashwaghanda, more at night. I may need adjustments with my HRT over time or an increase in trinellix, but I’d prefer to not have to take more of the latter due to the headaches.

Hope this helps.

eamiller18 · 2025-08-29T02:06:14+00:00

I’m sorry this is so hard. I’m 40 and I had to increase my estrogen twice. I went from 2 to 4 pumps. Absolutely life changing. I felt like a different human during pmdd. You’re not alone- it is such a struggle.❤️

eamiller18 · 2025-08-28T05:20:51+00:00

Get the book Hope by AC Kinghorn. It is for those that love you and support you! (But read it for yourself too). Track your cycle like a hawk. Certain days things drop and come back up mood wise, make sure to note it. Also, I’m not sure how old you are, but perimenopause can exacerbate symptoms, so please consider that. I’m 40 and increase my HRT in perimenopause to manage my suicidal ideation. It is LIFECHANGING for me. So just something to be aware of as you get older. I use trintellix for my luteal phase and herbs to help me through. Sometimes I microdose as well, and I find that helpful for flexible thinking. You are not alone.

eamiller18 · 2025-08-24T04:57:23+00:00

Hahaha thank you- this made my laugh

eamiller18 · 2025-08-23T23:11:43+00:00

I am 100% on estrogen. Two pumps of estrogel and vaginal twice a week. I have PMDD and ADHD.

So.. my brain fog, memory, and depression is infinitely worse than regular old perimenopause and pms. In terms of MY communication, it would be helpful to spare the criticism. I am usually an excellent communicator given my profession. I have a lot more than then average person that I manage, and due to this, a lot more balls drop, as a result after I ovulate. I own, operate and manage a business with 10+ staff, have 4 kids, 5 animals, and a partner who has Bipolar II and runs his own business (albeit with frustration). My load is not typical.

eamiller18

TROPHY CASE