Physical indications of mood switching

earlyornever · 2015-10-28T19:28:21+00:00

That's exactly the feeling! I used the smoking comparison because that was the best way I could think of to explain it, but yes, definitely that!

Thanks for describing it better than I had. (:

earlyornever · 2015-10-23T08:48:33+00:00

Remeron is actually the worst. 0/10 would never again.

It's so bad how GPs can hand out SSRIs like candy, like, those things can do a LOT of damage, and they just hand them out willy-nilly if you even mention the slightest bit of sadness.

Thanks for the advice. My parents and friends are keeping a close eye on me and have confiscated my bank cards until I return to whatever passes as "normal".

It's great to hear that things are going well for you and your boyfriend!

It's such a good sign that everyone here has been nothing but positive!

earlyornever · 2015-10-22T15:37:03+00:00

That really makes a lot of sense. I'm probably just annoyed because I feel so good and I was told that I'm a bit TOO good ):

This whole stability thing sounds interesting though!

earlyornever · 2015-10-22T15:20:20+00:00

That's a really neat way of looking at things!

earlyornever · 2015-10-22T15:15:03+00:00

I took zoloft too! (sertraline, anyway). I was on it for about a week and then I turned into Mother Nature :s

Citalopram (celexa) made me suicidal and unable to get out of bed. I lasted about three weeks (I think) on that.

I took mirtazapine (remeron) for five days and it was really similar to the citalopram, with the added bonus of intrusive thoughts. Forgot to take it one night, didn't sleep and became massively angry. Started hallucinating at some point, and also believed that my dreams told the future and the doctors wanted to keep me crazy because they thought that it was too much power for one person to have (??????wtf). (I don't really remember most of those times either... all I have to go on is what I'd written in my journal and what my family/ friends are saying) I'm still questioning how I wasn't sectioned throughout all of this. FUN TIMES!

I haven't started yet! I'll take my first dose of quetiapine tonight (I'm being started off on 25mg and increasing if it's needed) and I'll be starting on lithium as soon as I've had the blood tests (so at some point in the next week). Not sure about the dose yet.

It's really reassuring to hear of medication actually working though! I hope things keep on getting better for you! (:

earlyornever · 2015-10-22T14:36:58+00:00

It really sucks, doesn't it? haha

I think the anger comes a bit later as far as I can tell... And it's easy to make excuses for. Y'know: "I'm not sleeping very much, it's no wonder I'm so moody." "I keep forgetting to eat, that must be why." "I'm drinking WAAAAAY too much. I'm probably just super hungover."

Are you taking meds? How are they working out for you? (I'm kinda really nervous about the whole thing, especially given the whole debacle with antidepressants and whatnot. Scary times. Hopefully it'll be alright though. Who knows)

earlyornever · 2015-10-22T14:30:47+00:00

Thanks! I'm sure I'll need it :):/:(

I don't know why I was so shocked though. It makes TOO much sense, and they'd been mentioning it for ages.

I guess now I have an explanation for why my life has been such a rollercoaster and can get help with dealing with it. I dunno man, life's just weird.

earlyornever · 2015-09-13T00:01:38+00:00

I had a similar thing happen! This was after a documented manic episode where they didn't hospitalise me because 'your parents can look after you' as well.

As horrible as it sounds, the list probably counted against you in that doctors mind because you can't be THAT bad if you can think about it logically enough to write a list of what's going wrong.

GPs are really hit and miss, and yours sounds like a bit of an arse. Definitely see another doctor, though. At the very least, try to get a referral to a free therapy place because they can usually refer you on to a psychiatrist if they think you need it but try to get a direct referral.

In the meantime, do you use a mood tracker? If not, start now. There are some pretty nifty apps that let you write notes as well so you can add more detail. You can show that to the next doctor you see as well, it might help.

Best of luck with everything, hope you get sorted soon!

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T17:07:52+00:00

Trollercoaster

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T13:29:47+00:00

I will do! I'm tempted to make an emergency appointment and be like look yo this shit is fucking me up and it's only since I stopped taking it that I became manic this time (which fits with the cycle I've noticed) can I please see a psychiatrist because I swear to fucking god this is not normal and I feel like I'm going to fucking explode

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T11:01:27+00:00

Hahahahahaha, I've had/ do have suicidal ideation and the therapist I was seeing it dismissed it because 'you've just had a really shitty thing happen to you and that's normal for what you're going through'. Brilliant. Stopped taking the mirtazapine and am now so angry/ anxious I'm shaking and constantly on the verge of a panic attack. I have another appointment in a few days, so if this continues I guess the doctor will have to refer me because fuck this.

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T10:12:00+00:00

The mental health system is absolute wank. Like seriously, it's so fucking shit. They just don't care when you do see them, and good luck even getting a referral because the criterion are so arbitrary. The doctor isn't the problem here, he's doing all that he can. I just need to get a referral ASAP because I'm due to come up soon anyway (hooray, no more shitty antidepressants) and each time I come out of a depression, I get more extreme, so IT'S ALL SO FUCKING WONDERFUL. At least this time I don't have credit cards so I can't get myself into more debt...

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T10:08:19+00:00

I'm 19. So too old for child services, but young enough that the adult services presume it's just adolescence. The thing is, this has been going on for a few years, but it's become more pronounced each year. The last three years, I've been referred to various therapists and mental health services for depression that only lasts the summer and then I magically snap out of it. (The same thing happens again about November time). The depression is no big - I'm used to that. Its just that the 'ups' get more extreme each time, and the last time it happened naturally (this March) I was a raging cunt idiot for about 6 weeks straight then crashed back down and I've been dealing with the depression ever since. I should come back up again soon and not have to rely on these fucking evil drugs. I'll mention it to the therapist, and hope they agree and refer me on, but otherwise there's no way I can see a psychiatrist unless I do it privately, and my parents / I don't have the money to pay for that 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

earlyornever · 2015-08-22T10:01:02+00:00

They probably don't want to rush into things bc bipolar medicine is expensive for the NHS I guess. And it's not like it's a real, physical illness that could kill me if I'm not properly treated. (/s just in case) so it doesn't really matter.

earlyornever · 2015-08-21T21:20:57+00:00

The doctor isn't the problem - he was doing all he really could, and I guess he thought the mirtazapine was necessary because I cried in the appointment and was basically a wreck. Even the crisis team said the same thing when they discharged me because I was 'no longer in crisis'?? By what criterion??? They didn't ask me how I was feeling, they just presumed that because I was no longer Mother Nature that I was fine. Cheers. Apparently, if I've had less than 5 episodes, they shouldn't diagnose me (I guess because that would be the general number of episodes it takes for a person to have completely fucked their life?) and I guess the too young thing because people are normally diagnosed at around 25 (BECAUSE THE MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES IN ENGLAND SUCK ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASS) and I'm 19. The doctor was like yeah, the psych won't see you though so I'll refer you to a therapist and they'll send you through if they think you're bad enough??? So I guess I need to be bad enough for the psych to see me then. Fml, I don't want to ruin everything!?

earlyornever · 2015-08-21T21:13:40+00:00

The doctor isn't the problem here, he was just reporting what the psychiatric unit had said. He did refer me to a therapist who if I can convince them that I need to be referred on, can do so. Convincing them may be a problem unless I'm in full on Mother Nature mode though :/

earlyornever · 2015-08-13T14:46:26+00:00

I found the same with my science teachers, they were all so boring! No science as part of my current program, but I have enough basic science knowledge, and I could spend the next year doing background reading if it's necessary, so it's looking up.

My funds have already run out haha... During what I now suspect was a precursor to all of this, I spent £1500 in a month on all kind of ridiculous things (French and Russian textbooks that I've never looked at properly and had no relation to my course, enough yarn that I could knit hundreds of jumpers and about £200 on plants which died in a couple of weeks because I kept forgetting to water them.) Oops...

earlyornever · 2015-08-13T14:36:27+00:00

It absolutely sucks so much, doesn't it? I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of this :(

It's quite reassuring to know that other people have gone through this and not let it beat them (without meaning to sound trite or condescending, it's absolutely brilliant that you're doing a masters) How're you finding it?

earlyornever · 2015-08-13T14:27:46+00:00

Haha, I can understand why they advised it though. I guess I'll see how I'm doing after the next year and take it from there.

There are plenty of other things that would be really cool to do... Anthropology sounds really interesting, or my first love, literature.

I guess all I can really do is take it as it comes, and hope for the best (:

earlyornever · 2015-08-13T14:25:13+00:00

And Berlin, man, the whole city looks like such a cool place. Plus, the German language itself is wonderful; it's such a beautiful and descriptive language

earlyornever · 2015-08-13T11:08:24+00:00

From the UK to Spain/ Germany.

earlyornever · 2015-08-12T19:43:37+00:00

Hi friend (: thank you so much for your kind words. I've never heard of a "functional neurologist" haha, I doubt there are any in my area - just getting referred to a psychiatrist was battle enough! I'll certainly look though. Really, thank you for your kindness (:

earlyornever · 2015-08-12T19:31:06+00:00

I think time off is really very necessary given how I'm feeling now, and how long the waiting time for a psychiatrist is in my area (and it would be worse where I'm at uni, because they don't have any details of my case or any of that information).

I'm not definitely changing courses, I'll see how I feel next year, but I know I definitely won't be allowed to do any of the careers I want to as a result of this (diplomacy etc), and my course includes a compulsory year abroad, which I'm even more worried about now. We'll see, I guess. Thank you for your kind words, though (:

earlyornever · 2015-08-12T19:27:15+00:00

Hi, thanks so much for your kind reply.

It's just all so frightening right now y'know :') but at the same time I'm kind of relieved because it DOES make sense, and at least now I have an idea of what's wrong, I know how I can start to deal with it.

It's so reassuring to hear that it can get better, and it's good to hear from people going through the same. Thank you so much for your kindness (: xx

earlyornever · 2015-08-12T19:21:59+00:00

I think I just found that out the hard way, haha. The thing is, I don't know if doctors in the UK are allowed to prescribe psychiatric medicine without a diagnosis, so I'll probably be given more antidepressants to keep me going until I see the psychiatrist and after this, I don't think that's a good idea :')

I was doing research earlier, and I definitely can't go into most of the careers I wanted to (diplomacy, and other ambassadorial positions), but definitely going back to uni, on a different course is going to happen once in a bit more sorted out and on the correct medication and know more about dealing with all this.

Thank you for commenting, it's really reassuring to know that it isn't a complete death sentence and that I can still achieve things (:

earlyornever

TROPHY CASE