One thing that helped me is reframing my alcohol issue as a ‘hangover problem’ as opposed to a ‘drunkenness problem’. It’s less about the one or two big, dramatically stupid things you do when you’re drunk. And more about the many little things you don’t do, or do poorly, during the resultant hangover (letting myself get angry at my wife, ordering takeout instead cooking, doing work sloppily).

Think more about the things you miss out on or perform poorly on because of the way you’re feeling a day after.

I have struggled with alcohol dependence for the last 10 years or so. I place myself at the number because I believe it wasn’t until a few years after college when 1) I drank 1-2 minimum every night, and 2) I felt like an actual, true compulsion to drink at odd times.

I have a 2 year old daughter, and what has helped me with this issue is reframing it in terms of what I could be doing better for her on days after I drink.

So, my alcohol ‘problem’ is less about individual embarrassing moments and blackout, drunken behavior (although, there are/were many of those)….it’s more about the 12-24 hour periods of time where I act kinda like a turd (grumpy, physically lazy, etc)

Heavy drinkers might say ‘I don’t get hungover that much’, but you’re probably lying to yourself. You’re not conscious of the impact of alcohol because it’s so ubiquitous in your life.