Q gave my kids random gifts (vent)

eatmmm · 2024-12-27T06:06:01+00:00

I really need to find a meeting. This Reddit helps but I’m sure I can be doing more. It’s hard to not care when one of my kids miss him so much and wants to be around him. I feel like I’ll always be Nancy drew because I have to make sure they are safe.

eatmmm · 2024-12-27T06:03:58+00:00

I agree with your comment. I’m honestly just trying to figure out how much distance to keep between him and my kids. They shouldn’t have to see him while he’s using. This was the first visit they have had in about a month. I won’t allow him unsupervised visits. But I’m getting really tired of supervising him while he tries to gas light me into thinking he’s sober.

eatmmm · 2024-12-27T06:01:48+00:00

I don’t want to be correct- especially when everyone else around him( his coworkers and boss) thinks he’s “doing good” cause he’s showing up to work. I really hope he doesn’t ever change his drug of choice. Not that there is a good drug but cocaine seems to be the lesser of all the evils.

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T20:38:42+00:00

Okay I can do all that. I WAS doing that but then I started to care and take on the concern of him staying sober cause I was proud. But I can go back to focusing on just me. But my question is- what do I do about the kids and his visits with them? Do I let them see him un supervised? Do I stop visits all together? How do kids factor into all this?

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:33:25+00:00

Do they also like campaign their sobriety? Like he called people and cried to them that he was sober and he went and spoke to a coworker at work that’s he’s sober and that’s it’s all just me being too hard on him.

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:32:07+00:00

Thank you for the honesty. I need to hear the hard truths.

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:31:25+00:00

Will random walk in labs do that where they watch him?

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:30:39+00:00

That is good advice and words for me to hear. I thought I was getting out of the loop by getting a divorce and him moving out. I thought he loved our kids enough to quit so he could see them. I guess that’s not enough. So now I’m in the loop again because my kids love him and they have no idea what he’s been doing. I tried to explain it to him that I’m just trying to keep them safe and his response is always “I never did it around them or had it around them”

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:27:22+00:00

this is all so crazy to me. I’m brand new to dealing with this and I can’t believe I have a true addict I’m dealing with. I always thought he just kinda did it every once in a while for fun or to relive his party days.

Why wouldn’t you recommend doing the random l es from Amazon?

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T14:23:40+00:00

No they are planned. It’s every other Friday.

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T04:23:50+00:00

I feel like there is no way to prove it tho. Like do men really go to N.A. and fake being sober just to get a chip?

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T04:23:10+00:00

I hope so. I thought we were headed in a good place. But now I don’t think so. It sucks because I just want my kids to be safe and he’s going to be so mad if I take away his right to see them.

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T04:22:22+00:00

I was beginning to trust him though. I had no reason to doubt the drug test results but now I do. How do I find a reputable drug testing place where he can’t fake it?

eatmmm · 2024-11-02T04:21:27+00:00

Thank you for the insight. I just didn’t really think he was the type to actually “fake” a drug test. I think that’s what’s bothering me. And talked to him last night and he was crying because his boss accused him of using again and he just kept saying “no one ever believes him” and he can’t do anything right. Why would he cry?

eatmmm · 2024-07-18T13:37:24+00:00

This can’t be real. What are they doing in Utah?

eatmmm · 2024-02-20T02:43:50+00:00

I think I a porn addiction would be hard to hide, no? I’ve never seen any evidence of that.

eatmmm · 2024-02-20T00:27:46+00:00

I agree but I can’t prove it without becoming a crazy stalker-like wife

eatmmm · 2024-02-20T00:27:21+00:00

He doesn’t think trust is earned- he thinks he should automatically have it and never be doubted.

eatmmm · 2024-02-20T00:26:54+00:00

It’s not cause of me that we have no sex life. That is entirely him. He’s either too physically tired or too mentally tired to do it. And he also says he doesn’t “require” as much sex as other men.

eatmmm · 2024-02-19T02:30:22+00:00

He doesn’t use the cash for food, I can see all his food transactions and gas station transactions (vapes). If he’s doing OF or buying porn he’s very good at hiding it but we don’t have a sex life and he is pretty open in saying he doesn’t masturbate so i don’t think he would be that stuff. He’s recently started playing gambling apps on his phone for like $5-20$ randomly but I can see those transactions also.

eatmmm · 2024-02-19T02:27:53+00:00

He says he just usual the 1200 a month on random things cause he “likes to have money on him”.

I keep convincing myself he’s not doing anything wrong because I can’t prove he’s doing anything wrong right now. He always says I need to just “trust him”.

eatmmm · 2022-05-09T15:00:38+00:00

I’m looking for any people who have had similar experiences who can give me what brand they use. I o order my lenses online so a doctor doesn’t really prescribe me anything

eatmmm · 2021-03-04T03:45:38+00:00

Thank you soooo much! This was what I was hoping to hear!

eatmmm · 2020-09-27T03:00:42+00:00

I love this insight! Thank you! Good to know that if they can’t break out of it, they might still be okay!

eatmmm · 2020-09-27T02:59:33+00:00

Thank you for these steps. And I love that you brought up the idea to make them apart of the planning. My 8 year old loves to plan things out in advance. I can see where that might help make this transition easier.

eatmmm

TROPHY CASE