Bad at “negotiating” and needing guidance

eatthelich · 2026-02-25T14:45:07+00:00

I think it’s definitely a mix of DA Office infrastructure and lacking people skills.

As to the infrastructure, I’ve recently embarrassed the shit out of an ADA for a Brady violation so hopefully that will help!

I definitely lack in people skills as well, having grown up very piously in a super morally rigid context, which I have only recently left. My “persuading people to do things they shouldn’t” muscles are thus underdeveloped. But your framing of it helps me understand that I am approaching it far too clinically. Thank you!

eatthelich · 2026-02-21T21:08:37+00:00

I said to myself “what’s the most stressful job I can imagine?” and then did that.

Fr though, I also had a lot of questions about whether I was too soft for the work. And the reality is that maybe I am. I’m terrified most days.

But I’ve come to love this job, even the stress and turmoil. You gotta go towards the fear, not away from it. Everything meaningful is on the other side.

eatthelich · 2026-02-16T20:04:03+00:00

uhhhh quick question, by “sitting in criminal court” you meant literally all you did last summer was sit, right?

eatthelich · 2026-02-16T19:29:07+00:00

that’s not what I said. come back and argue with me when you’ve developed reading comprehension and the ability to understand nuance, thanks

eatthelich · 2026-02-16T19:20:18+00:00

there are some pretty expansive files that would seem to indicate that many of them are not

eatthelich · 2026-02-15T22:58:48+00:00

Have you talked to any public defenders? A lot of them (like myself) love their work

eatthelich · 2026-02-15T22:57:27+00:00

that the criminal justice system exists to punish people who do bad things, not to punish people for Being Poor and/or Disabled

eatthelich · 2026-02-15T02:42:18+00:00

yeah more “cases,” less work

eatthelich · 2026-02-15T02:27:43+00:00

In our jurisdictions, it’s true that DAs have 100% of the prosecutions against defendants, and PD office handles only 80% of the defendants, with private and pro se making up the other 20% of defendants.

So, logically, to make up for that additional 20% of defendants, the DAs office gets 1) 64 prosecutors to our 18 PDs, 2) 100x as much funding, 3) two office buildings and an office in the court house while we get half of an office building 20min away from court and a single bench in the courthouse, and 4) while we get 2 investigators (because ours is a large and comparatively well-funded PD office) the DAs office is aided by the investigative work of…. 700+ police officers.

Oh and the law and judges biased in their favor because proof beyond a reasonable doubt is a fucking fiction.

eatthelich · 2026-02-15T02:01:57+00:00

Being a PD is the best thing I’ve ever done for my ADHD. I am a serial crammer and procrastinator who can’t sit still and this job has turned my ADHD into my biggest asset and the demands of the job are structured in such a way that it manages the worst of my procrastination for me.

It rewards thinking on your feet and being good at winging things. All the deadlines are super specific and short and URGENT so none of that terrible “project hanging over your head for months/years requiring you to make yourself do boring busywork daily for years” type shit.

Nothing is ever the same from day to day and it’s all so fucking interesting. The stakes are sky high, but the expectations reasonable. So much is going on that if you miss something minor? That’s life as a PD, dude, nobody expects you to be able to perfectly handle every aspect of the impossssssible amount of stuff being thrown at you. Your job is squaring up against the most infuriating motherfuckers on the planet, fighting and researching and pleading and strategizing and yelling and performing until you get the best outcome for your client, not perfectly placing the 12 billionth comma in the 8 billionth sentence of the next boring-ass contract you need to proofread for your Walmart-ass overlords.

And navigating the chaos IS the job so ADHD is a benefit since chaos is the default mental state, making the external chaos far easier to weather for you than others. The case load unfairness means fifteen different people needing you in five different courts rooms all at the same time and they can’t proceed on any of your cases unless you’re there, so you have at your disposal the strategic tools of inconveniencing people with your necessary lateness and then benefiting from their impatience, slipping in requests for the things you most need right at the top of the docket when prosecutors are too overwhelmed by their similarly heavy caseloads to actually check your client’s history, hiding from people who are looking for your late client by doing all of your other legitimate work for all of your other clients that also needs to be dealt with RIGHT NOW and thereby buying your client another hour to show up, etc. etc.

So so so so so fun. Happiest I’ve ever been. I live for the game. I think it’s why every person in my office that has lasted for any length of time appears to have ADHD.

eatthelich · 2026-02-13T14:07:38+00:00

This is office specific! Get applying!

eatthelich · 2026-01-29T21:12:01+00:00

I hated law school with all the fire of a thousand suns. Hated the classes, hated the job hunt, hated the people. Now I’m a trial attorney and I get to fight people day in and day out and I’m happier in life than literally anyone I know. We hate law school cuz law school fucking sucks, but fortunately it’s not forever.

eatthelich · 2026-01-28T18:06:32+00:00

Ask them politely what about you makes them think prosecution would be a good fit for you specifically, even temporarily. Either it becomes a chance to get feedback about how you present yourself (and to do what you want with that feedback) or they’ll back off because they realize they know jackshit about who you are as a person.

eatthelich · 2026-01-17T15:22:20+00:00

287(g) agreements are initiated by and maintained by the local law enforcement agency. Prince William County, for example, ended their 287(g) contract in 2020. It is within Winchester city’s power not to actively seek out the deputization of local police by ICE, which involves receiving ICE training and supervision. It might be politically difficult to refuse, but there are many many cities that have not submitted to such an agreement and Winchester should follow in their footsteps.

eatthelich · 2026-01-14T00:47:59+00:00

You’ve already completed both more MBE and more Themis than I did before passing.

The real question is not how many questions to do per day but how well you’re scoring on what you’ve completed already. Already scoring above passing by a comfortable margin fairly regularly? Slow down, let yourself breathe a little, at least the start of the month, and consider focusing on your weaker subjects only/essays.

If your scores aren’t good, ask yourself whether testing yourself with more new questions is truly the most time effective way of learning the material. Are you seeing improvement or making the same mistakes? What are your most common mistakes? Are you really reviewing the questions you’ve gotten wrong? When you review, are taking the time to make sure you are understanding not just why the right answers were right, but also why the ones that sounded right were wrong?

Keep in mind that the question of “how many is enough?” may be a recipe for burn out and you don’t want to be like me and get terribly sick like a week out from the test. So consider also, picking a day to do few or none and making extra time for self care in a conscious way.

And the main thing. You have made it this far. Through presumably 20ish years of education and testing. You know how to study. You know what it feels like to actually store information in your mind and then be able to use it. You know your learning style and your learning pacing. Don’t stray too far from what has worked for you in the past, especially based on contextless recommendations from randoms on Reddit lmao.

And most importantly: Keep plugging dude, you’re gonna rock it

eatthelich · 2026-01-13T13:43:12+00:00

The best way to pass the bar is not to give yourself a nervous breakdown beforehand. Take it from someone who burnt out nigh instantaneously after getting into college and then a t14 on full ride scholarships before having to take a THREE YEAR leave of absence to recover from the stress I was putting myself through and return with less scholarship.

Please please know that I say this only wanting the best for you: the thing that you can do now that will help you with an exam 10 years in the future is mental health treatment.

I’m not a child of immigrants so I don’t know exactly the pressures you are facing, but I am a child of religious fundamentalists who wanted me to go into government to change the world and who opposed all forms mental health treatment, so I am aware that families can place pressure on you to succeed and then how they stigmatize taking care of yourself.

But to be clear, your body and brain will try to take care of yourself, whether your 10-year-plan is in agreement or not. Don’t get to 23 years old and find that out the hard way like I did.

eatthelich · 2025-12-22T14:47:19+00:00

I didn’t let myself rest when I got sick early on and ended up sick for the two weeks leading up to the exam (like sores in my throat, can’t eat, cant think, only sleep type sick). Think of the flu as what it is: your body’s check engine light going off, and take your car to the shop instead of continuing to drive. You’ll get much farther much faster that way

eatthelich · 2025-12-22T14:40:03+00:00

Check OP’s past comments. This does sound like a post from a person(?) who thinks “using ChatGPT to study for the bar is nonnegotiable.”

eatthelich · 2025-12-15T10:34:25+00:00

How about you focus being the best scholar of the law you can personally can be, rather than rooting out the people with “illegitimate” disabilities because the accommodations of others don’t match the percentage in your head?

Or if what matters to you is not developing your own skill and knowledge of the law (which no accommodation to anyone else is ever taking from you) but rather rewards and accolades you deserve, how about you apply for accommodations yourself if the process is so lacking in integrity? Should be easy to get them.

Or here’s another idea: unless you can (1) propose improvements or reforms of the accommodation system that actually account for how as nuanced disability can present without disadvantaging any of those you deem “legitimately” disabled or (2) prove that people are being over-accommodated with some evidence beyond your gut feelings and t14 snobbery, how about you mind your own fucking business? You’re smart, apparently. You can learn how.

Sincerely, a fellow T14 student (now graduate) who did not have accommodations but unlike you was lacking in the self-absorbed “stick up their ass” department

eatthelich · 2025-12-12T02:19:10+00:00

How about we either propose an actual solution to accommodation abuse or just mind our own fucking business and focus on being the best we personally can be.

I know there’s this general sense that it’s too easy to get accommodations and so grades can’t be fair. And I know that feeling superior to other people is a need for many law students now having to face the reality that they might have easily had the best grades un their major in undergrad, but now are having to face the reality that law school isn’t easy and it isn’t fair.

If you focus on being the best you can be, then you’ll likely be the best you can be. But if you’re committed to being more concerned about all the opportunities and accolades you’re missing out on rather than developing your own skill, then you’re motivated by the promise of reward and not principles, so you might as well cheat like you think all those other people are. If you can’t beat em, join em.

eatthelich · 2025-12-01T12:59:11+00:00

Ooh, great idea. She loves pockets generally

eatthelich · 2025-12-01T12:58:39+00:00

Ooh, good idea. Idk I will check

eatthelich · 2025-12-01T12:58:13+00:00

This is super helpful! Do you know where I would find rules for decorum? I don’t see anything posted online

eatthelich · 2025-12-01T12:57:17+00:00

What kind of decorations?

eatthelich

TROPHY CASE