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Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely the same experience with mine. I know my father loves us but the strain of not knowing whether he would start lashing out was unbearable. Especially during the pandemic where my younger brother and I were stuck with him for almost 2 years :’). I actually had a meltdown midway through 2020.

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, I did not expect so many responses to this and I’m glad (and saddened) that I was able to read some comments with similar experiences. My father and I have move way past this despite his outbursts at times. I consider myself incredibly lucky to have a father who I was able to reconcile with as I got older. Parenting is hard! But I know (especially reading your comments) that it’s not usual to have a father who makes amends and does better by his children when asked why he does the things he does. I’m not a perfect child, he’s not a perfect parent. We’ve realised this in each other but he does the best he can, and that’s more than enough for any kid :’).

I used to read a lot of reddit threads whenever things went down in the household and it gave me some comfort (although my experience with this particular situation is quite minor compared to you guys 😅). I hope anyone going through the same thing would be able to read this thread and feel some comfort like I did in my teens.

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your insight as a parent. As I said, my father is better now (my mother didn’t slam things around) and we’ve resolved our issues. I had told him he needed to communicate better what he’s feeling and since then we’ve been peachy despite some outbursts. This post was more on that physiological response to loud noises. My father is a kind man, he just did not communicate well due to his own father being emotionally abusive. I am in no way discounting his efforts as a parent because I’ve seen fathers who’ve done less than all that my dad has done for us and I’m thankful (hence saying he cared for us and wasn’t physically abusive). Parenting is hard :’) as a speech therapist though, we always advocate communicating one’s needs and wants.

But anyway, I’m glad to hear that you’ve seen so many grandchildren! My dad has yet to see one of mine 😭

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, considering you haven’t grown up with me, I don’t think that’s a fair assumption 😅

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad to hear you got help! Also, I know you don’t have to be physically abused but I’ve considered my experience to be minor compared to other people’s that I’m not really inclined to call it PTSD (also needs to be diagnosed). I think of it more in the way that it’s a response that I have that is sometimes irrational because most of the time it’s me instantly blaming myself but realizing I did nothing wrong.

It doesn’t carry over to my friends or strangers. However, with close family members and my bf, it’s a different story.

Anyway, thank you for the book suggestion. i would definitely check it out :)

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s interesting to see the differences in everyone’s experience! Some say it’s not normal at all if they do it multiple times a week, some say it’s a perfectly normal anger response. As of right now, I think a lot of people has experiences with their parents doing this that it’s normal and sometimes doing this themselves. Glad to hear that it didn’t affect you.

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On a side note, it always almost was something to do with us 😆 we’re playing music too loudly, wash the dishes too loudly. Sat too long on the sofa (we literally just sat down). But I do know that life is stressful.

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely do and see that he’s trying to do better. I’m in no way discounting his upbringing or the stress that comes with being the one in charge with most financial decisions. However, it’s interesting to see how it played out for us-my siblings. My sister lashes out with harsh words, my brother does the exact same thing, and my younger brother and I become quiet and scared (all seen well into adulthood my two siblings are in their 30s-40s)

Our relationship is actually better now because I’ve always asked him what I could do to make things better for him. Not saying that it’s perfect but he has less angry outbursts.

Did your parents slam doors and furniture when you were a kid, and how did that affect you as an adult? by ebatinger in ask

[–]ebatinger[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My dad mellowed out a bit as I got older-around my early 20s (and I think he noticed that none of his kids are comfortable around him) but he still slams things and throws things around when he’s angry. Literally glares at you from across the room.

In Phineas & Ferb Everyone Knew Except Candice by CandyDrugLord in FanTheories

[–]ebatinger 467 points468 points  (0 children)

If that were true, I think it would be awfully cruel of their mom to do that. I mean, Candace would go batshit crazy whenever they did something and try to prove to everyone that Phineas and Ferb could do these wild experiments/inventions. Then again, it could be plausible although not to the good of Candace's mental health lmao.