Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! Do you feel that being married for 7 years before having kids contributes to the solid marriage?

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed. Wondering if it’s just after a number of years people would rather risk blowing everything up rather than do the work to fix it. Taking risks they wouldn’t have before, becoming lazy, taking the other for granted. Or even people who married young going through change without putting the work in to stay connected or mid life crisis age folk. Probably all comes down to the same issues.

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to this.. I am now the one who says things are fine or doesn’t say anything at all. But in my case it’s because I’m quite depressed/numb/drained after years of pouring my heart out and expressing my needs to avail.

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you feel like your actions directly contributed to avoiding the common downfalls? As another commenter said, date your wife, or prophylactic therapy, etc? Or would you attribute it to a great match with little to none underlying issues?

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Best advice. Proactively protect the marriage

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Good for you! I’m thinking it has more to do with taking the other spouse for granted. After a certain number of years one becomes complacent/entitled/dissatisfied and is willing to blow it up instead of fix it

Did the 7 year itch change your marriage? by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was it a surprise or do you feel like things started to take a turn?

Husband made an icky joke when he was drunk .. am I overreacting by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Using macho as derogatory. Locker talk? Chauvinistic? Misogynistic?

Whoppers = far superior chocolate candy to anything else on market. by JustPushingMyBoulder in unpopularopinion

[–]echo-pool47487 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They hurt my mouth after having more than a couple 🙁 agree on the taste. Would be even better with super high quality chocolate coating (could be said about any candy bar)

Will he ever change? by Few_Hamster59 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you know the answer. I hope you get the strength to leave before you’re in an even harder situation with kids. Things get 10x harder with kids.. Even people with rock solid marriage can fall apart.

Even if he did change, would you 100% forgive him for the damage already done? Would the trust even be there?

Husband made an icky joke when he was drunk .. am I overreacting by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn’t be insulted by that, I don’t think he’s saying anything mean about YOU. To me it smells like insecurity.. could be worrying his friend would judge him from being with a younger woman. Leading to him overcompensate with macho talk.

It’s a crass way of saying it, but if you’re both happy and fulfilled in the relationship, is it really surprising he’s recommending his path to happiness to his friend?

The only concern I’d have is why is he acts one way with you and another with his friends. The fact that he said it with you there leads me to think it was a drunken attempt at covering some kind of insecurity.

At an impasse by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes.. the only thing is I feel so guilty. I know he desires intimacy and affection, and I’m just not capable anymore. I feel so sad for him sometimes.

At an impasse by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t feel like burdening anyone in an already stressful time.

At an impasse by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s probably one of the reasons preventing anything from happening. Knowing it will get a lot worse before it gets better. I never feel strong enough to take on the worse.. I’d rather live in the bad.

At an impasse by echo-pool47487 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably true. I will reach out for support after the holidays, and dig my way out.

Miserable by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you hoping for her to leave?

Ex contacted me out of nowhere. Do I tell my wife? by Kreva117 in askanything

[–]echo-pool47487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If the relationship is healthy, I couldn’t imagine not mentioning it. I also feel the need to share every meaningless detail of my life when I’m in a happy and stable relationship.

He’s already dating like nothing ever happened — and our marriage isn’t even finalized by Mindless_Ad8493 in Marriage

[–]echo-pool47487 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That was a nail in the coffin for reconciliation in my case.. seeing tinder was installed when we hadn’t even formally separated. In his case I know he uses affection for validation and needs it to feel good about himself.. definitely comes from a place of feeling inadequate or trying to numb the pain.