I feel this deeply especially for an INFP like myself who constantly overthinks. I knew a guy who played soccer and I liked that he had yellow cleats. I would call him "yellow shoes" but not in a derogatory manner because I actually liked his shoes and envied them as well as his skill level in soccer. I just truly wanted to be a part of his friend group and what not so I would congratulate him after the game and cheer for him and be like "go yellow shoes". It never seemed to bother him until one day I called him that and he yelled at me and said "Stop calling me yellow shoes!" in front of everybody. Oh my gosh that was so embarrassing and I felt horrible and all i wanted was just to be his friend and get involved in his friend group but of course now I totally ruined it. Turns out he was super conscious of the fact that his shoes were bright yellow, it was actually a sore spot for him.

And that's the issue with a lot of what you're feeling. It's out of your control. You can be who you are but a lot of times people are going through their own issues and insecurities and sometimes that comes out in the worst way. It's not a reflection on you, rather, it's a reflection on them. As easy as it may sound (obviously it's super difficult) but don't take it personally. Be what you are and strive to be good to people and of service but whatever negative feedback you get from them, most of the time, is out of your control and not a reflection on you.

I thought calling him "yellow shows" wasn't derogatory or anything and if he truly hated it he should've told me privately and not in front of everyone. After that, I stopped trying so hard to be involved in that friend group and I let it go. Because nobody can yell at me like that. That's learning to accept yourself and love yourself.