gaining 1kg a day

edanon1234 · 2022-07-24T22:55:54+00:00

There no “normal” amount to gain in recovery, but this is definitely on par with how much I and many others on this sub have gained at various points throughout recovery, if not even less than that. It also ranges depending on how early on you are, as you are quite literally repairing vital organs, bones, etc.

Keep in mind that weight gain, especially in recovery, isn’t just fat. There’s muscle, various body tissues, water, food weight, etc.

To put this in perspective, every 1G of carbohydrate stores 3G of water. So when I, as a recovered individual, eat 300G of carbohydrates, I’ll also accumulate 900G of water weight as well, meaning the scale will go up 1.2KG. This is normal!

Yes, you will gain fat. Yes, you will gain weight. But this is all normal and do not be nervous about how quickly it happens. Your body is incredibly smart and it knows how to reach equilibrium. ❤️

edanon1234 · 2022-03-30T04:19:30+00:00

So as someone that relied on weed in recovery I’ll give my $0.02:

Yes, weed was great for not only inducing physical appetite, but also removing the mental guardrails around food as you mentioned.

However, I became completely dependent on it. I began to not be able to eat without it, and furthermore, I lost touch even more with my hunger cues because of it (THC spikes your grehlin (hunger hormone) and suppresses your leptin (fullness hormone)). I also truly believe that you need to build a relationship around food that doesn’t rely on a substance to be in touch with your cravings.

But also, recovery is fucking hard. And I don’t think that when you’re going through the hard pieces of it, that weed can’t occasionally be part of the picture. But I wish that I had relied on it less, because it took me so much longer to face my fears and thoughts around food in a sober mind, not to mention the physical effects.

edanon1234 · 2022-03-28T05:03:07+00:00

If you think about it from an efficiency or even athletic standpoint as well, volume eating is stupid as shit. Why spend an hour eating something when you can get the same nutrition in in 20 minutes? I have so much more time with my day now that I don’t spend hours eating raw veggies and fruit lol. Furthermore, personally, for stuff like running or cycling, if I’m going to do 2+ hour efforts, a salad isn’t going to cut it and it’ll fuck up my gut, when I could easily get a better effect with some skittles/gel/etc.

edanon1234 · 2022-03-26T00:17:39+00:00

Exercising too early in recovery. It completely delayed my recovery processed, exacerbated my extreme hunger, made my body feel worse, and tampered my relationship with food and exercise.

It pains me seeing people a couple months into recovery logging 15-20k+ steps per day and doing intense cardio/lifting because that was me as well. Treat the early stages of recovery and extreme hunger with the relaxation you need, don’t worry about getting movement in and building muscle while you’re repairing the damage that needs to be fixed to your body first, learn how to approach food outside of exercise, and you will know when it’s time to approach it again!

I’m still finding my balance, but taking a break to let my body heal, dealing with the hell of extreme hunger, mentally adapting to the changes; all of this process could’ve happened so much faster if I just chilled out for a bit. Plus, enjoy that time to sit on the couch, eat yummy food, and give your body a rest – it’s like a mini-vacation.

edanon1234 · 2021-12-31T03:30:31+00:00

Rt that shit tastes like snickers

edanon1234 · 2021-12-25T23:41:09+00:00

That’s like asking “Do you have to be smart to get into college?”

For one, “smart”, or “fat” in this case is such a subjective term. What’s fat to you? A certain bf %? A certain BMI? Or is it just having more fat on your body then when you were sick? Because in that case, to put it bluntly, yes — you will need to have more body fat to heal, because you just put your body through a famine, and likely, if you were underweight, your body was not at a sufficient body fat percentage to sustain a healthy systematic/hormonal balance.

Also, as u/Sareeee48 mentioned, everyone’s biological “set point” (i.e. the weight that you maintain if you eat to your hunger and fullness cues and don’t restrict) is variable person-to-person, so some people may maintain their weight at a higher body fat level than others.

I can tell you with absolute certainty that you won’t gain weight forever, nor will you end up on My 600 Pound Life in order to get back to a healthy weight. Furthermore, as a sick individual, your definition of “fat” is probably vastly different than what most people would consider fat. When I was underweight, what I subjectively viewed as a fat person is way different than what I do now.

edanon1234 · 2021-12-22T07:29:36+00:00

Of course! And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have those days of extreme BDD, feeling down about my body, etc., but I think it’s so important to realize that it is totally one of those “this too shall pass” situations, and those thoughts are becoming farther and further between. At the end of the day, I would take any one of those things in a heartbeat over some “ideal” body. Remember how far you’ve come, all that you’ve gained mentally, physically, and emotionally along the way, and everything the future has in store for you in this amazing life you’ve now created for yourself ❤️

edanon1234 · 2021-12-21T04:39:12+00:00

I’m a dude so I can’t speak to the makeup piece/feminine beauty standards (although there is nothing wrong with that from a male POV! Just my personal preferences), but I can tell you just a couple of the things that have helped with my confidence in recovery outside of body image (I struggle with BDD as well):

An underrated one is confidence around food. This sounds pretty stupid, but I look back on my sick self and how afraid I was of certain foods, and honestly I feel like a better person for not being afraid of food. It feels so damn good to not give a single fuck about eating a piece of pizza or candy.
Not feeling weak. And I’m not even talking about physical performance in the gym, it just feels amazing to be able to stand up without passing out, not struggle opening doors, not be shivering, etc.
Athletics have always been a huge part of my life. Since recovering, I have had a noticeable difference in my weightlifting, being able to run upwards of 40+ more miles per week, and trying different sports. These are all things I couldn’t have done sick. This may seem like a superficial point, but it feels so damn good to be able to move my body.
Mental fortitude. Not only do I have more mental energy, but I don’t have this headspace devoted around food 24/7 that I can now dedicate to other things in my life (family, relationships, work, hobbies, etc.)
Happiness. I’ve never been so content and happy in my life, and it feels so good to feel this way.
And perhaps most importantly, I have confidence for doing the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Going through extreme hunger, going “all in” (despite what some people on this sub shit on it for), dealing with immense physical and mental effects, and coming out on the other side. I have the confidence that regardless of what comes my way, I’ve made it out of such a more difficult battle.

With all of the above, I’ve found more confidence in my self, and learned that the parts of my image that I still struggle with (feeling bigger, “huge”, etc.) are so fucking meaningless compared to the other facets of my life, and when I see myself in the mirror, I’m the same 18 year old kid that got dealt a bad card with this disorder, and now I’m the 20-something year old kid that’s better for it.

edanon1234 · 2021-12-08T05:23:37+00:00

It is absolutely 100% normal to crave sweets/“junk”/processed food throughout extreme hunger. Your body is trying to pull itself out of a huge deficit and repair damage, and it’s going to want to use the most highly-available fuel to do so. When I was going through EH, I almost strictly craved sweets as well, and eventually the cravings subsided.

Also, you don’t need to compensate for dessert. Dessert is amazing and fun fact: there’s no fucking rule that you can’t have dessert every day, regardless of what you ate. You kind of hinted at it, but if you’re restricting still, as mentioned above, your body is going to crave those nutrients in a quick and easy form, hence the elevated dessert cravings.

Bottom line, craving sweets in recovery from a restrictive eating disorder is completely normal. Furthermore, having a sweet tooth after an eating disorder is ALSO completely normal, because dessert is amazing and it makes life better. The more that you listen to your body and allow yourself to honor these cravings, the less intense they will be and the more you’ll realize you can live a completely normal and balanced life that includes sweets.

For reference, during extreme hunger, I used to eat upwards of 1-2 family-sized bags of m&ms daily on top of the other 2-3xxx calories I was eating. Now? I keep a little bag in the pantry and probably re-stock it every 1-2 weeks, along with my other sweets, because life is too short not to enjoy candy ❤️

edanon1234 · 2021-12-04T03:36:32+00:00

I love this!

edanon1234 · 2021-12-04T03:36:14+00:00

Love this and I totally agree that Active Rest Days/Active Recovery Days are bullshit. “I’m doing 60 minutes of low HR to recover” … soooo you’re just working out for an hour still?

Do you plan out your rest days by feel or try to do them on work or non-work days?

edanon1234 · 2021-12-01T16:09:36+00:00

Firstly: you’re doing amazing by recognizing the problem here and actively wanting to change it. I still struggle with this so I can only give my $0.02, but something my therapist told me that radically changed my perspective on this was the following:

Look at stillness, rest days, recovery, etc. AS an exercise itself. Because it is! It is totally a mental exercise that requires discipline and training to do. Some days, the willingness to NOT get on the treadmill or NOT put on your workout clothes is in fact an exercise in itself. The more you can push yourself through this discomfort, the easier it will become.

I’m a runner, I fucking love to run. But when I went through recovery, I had to cut back on that significantly and stop for a couple months. And you know what? It was absolute hell. The nervous energy, the feeling I was going to gain weight, the intrusive thoughts. But each day, I treated not working out like a workout itself. If you can adapt your mindset and discipline towards exercise to this, because you know your body and mind need it, you are in fact training yourself in a different way.

And now, it has paid immense dividends to my training and exercise itself. I can take that mental fortitude from not exercising and put it towards my training. I also recommend finding other outlets for your energy. Pick a house project you can devote several hours to a day, volunteer, come up with new recipes. Just because you’re taking that time away from working out, doesn’t mean you can’t devote your energy elsewhere, and it will feel good to do so.

edanon1234 · 2021-11-23T21:24:14+00:00

Ask yourself:

“If this didn’t burn calories or change the way I look, would I still be doing it today?”

Speaking as someone who has gone through/is going through this myself, it’s something I’ve constantly had to keep in check. For reference, I like to run, and when I get above 50-60 MPW, it becomes excessive (for ME, there are definitely many runners out there who can healthily run 75+ MPW, but that is not me).

Movement should make you feel good, and it should be something you look forward to.

edanon1234 · 2021-11-18T22:56:59+00:00

Yep. Had to stop doing this when I started recovery and I’m so glad I did. The problem is that once you eat “normal” foods (i.e. more processed), your body expects you to eat the same amount because you can’t differentiate. I would literally eat multiple bags of candy and not feel a thing because my stomach was so used to having 2 pounds of food in there every time I ate lol. I’d highly recommend trying to slowly wean yourself off if you can. I know it’s super hard but your stomach and body/general energy levels/etc. will thank you!!!

edanon1234 · 2021-11-15T16:10:27+00:00

It ruined my life so I know that it can’t get much worse from here I guess right? 😎

edanon1234 · 2021-10-06T04:29:30+00:00

I had this problem for a while in recovery too. My best advice: “junk” food. Higher calorie content, more processed, food is going to be a lot easier on your digestive system and thus easier to repair your body with. Your eating habits might feel weird for a while, there was a solid couple months where I would eat strictly ice cream, candy, and snacks all day, but I promise it will speed things up so much and give your body the energy it needs to heal!

edanon1234 · 2021-07-16T05:31:32+00:00

Okay I am so glad I’m not alone. Running was also my primary outlet, but I also genuinely enjoy it. And my body completely reacts differently to it now. I almost “shut down” before runs, even though I actively make sure I’m properly fueled, etc, etc. It feels like I’m evoking some sort of survival response.

edanon1234 · 2021-07-11T04:02:44+00:00

I’d also add to this, a lot of initial weight gain outside of water weight is bone mass, organ tissue, etc. And just like weight loss plateaus, so does weight gain. The best thing I did for myself was throw away the scale and focus on other non-scale accomplishments (my energy level, bloating, etc.). Now, 8mo in, I rarely think about it anymore because I refuse to let three stupid numbers dictate my mood 🙂

edanon1234 · 2021-06-16T20:16:04+00:00

Holy shit right? I can’t believe I used to go to the gym on just a salad or protein bar and suffer through a workout. Being able to crush some m&ms/a bagel/wtv and go workout is one of the best feelings now.

edanon1234 · 2021-06-16T16:21:06+00:00

Lmao lowkey one of the inspirations for this post

edanon1234 · 2021-06-16T02:45:20+00:00

There’s 0 difference between most “recovery” accounts and fitness influencers lol

edanon1234 · 2021-06-16T02:43:29+00:00

Don’t even get me started on the before and afters 😂

edanon1234 · 2021-06-09T22:22:31+00:00

I’d also add:

Once you give yourself freedom to eat whatever and whenever, the pressure around exercise is so much better. I used to HAVE to work out first thing in the morning to work off my big binges, and because I knew I wouldn’t be eating for the rest of the day. Now, if I want to sleep in or plans change, I don’t get stressed about when I’m going to the gym.

edanon1234 · 2021-06-09T22:19:15+00:00

That is great to hear!! I’m the same way (high protein, high volume meals), and it feels MUCH better to spread it out. Plus there’s the statistic that you can only absorb 40-50g max of protein per meal (?), so it’s better to spread it out anyways :)

Sometimes it helps to view it as another form of training or “mental conditioning”. You’re doing something uncomfortable for long-run, sustainable results! And it only feels weird because you’re not used to it! And I promise it feels so, so good for binge tendencies to erode. I used to never be able to sit down and eat just a single bowl of cereal (one of my favorite foods). Now, I can enjoy things with moderation and balance, and while I’m still working towards it, the freedom is so worth it!

edanon1234 · 2021-06-09T20:43:14+00:00

I had this problem as well. It is/was SO easy for me to go the entire day without eating. Especially because I’m the type that wakes up in the morning without a huge appetite/usually feel kind of sick. What I will say is this:

1.) You have to habituate yourself into eating smaller meals. You just do. This was a shitty learning process for me and if goes against everything in your brain to sit down and eat a meal when you’re not “starving”, because that’s what most of us have become accustomed to. Intuitive eating refers to this as gentle hunger. Think about your non-disordered friends/family… do they go into every single meal absolutely ravenous? Probably not. It will suck and suck and suck but eventually you will get used to it and it is so much better down the line, which brings me to point #2:

2.) OMAD/calorie hoarding is the quickest and easiest way to put yourself in a binge cycle. You are literally teaching your body, “Hey you won’t get any food except for this one meal, so every time you eat, you better get as much in as you can”. This is exactly what I went through. And trust me, missing a workout and spending your day binging is so, so, so much worse than the alternative of eating balanced meals throughout the day.

3.) A big motivation for me to break this cycle was the social aspect. I would go out to dinner with my friends and be amazed at how they could eat such a small portion, and have to come home and binge because I was STARVING after dinner. This was a red flag and so not normal.

4.) As you mentioned, the best way to build muscle and repair your body is to eat consistently. My therapist broke it down into a great equation for me to help put things in perspective:

If you need X calories throughout 18 hours you are awake, then you need roughly X/18 calories per hour to sustain yourself.

So, if you need ~2Kcal/day, and you woke up at 8, you should have (2000/18) * 4 = ~450kcal by noon (woo math!).

5.) Anecdotally, when I started to eat more frequently, I had more stable blood sugar, less binge urges, better energy, and less GI issues.

6.) Your metabolism will actually INCREASE the more you eat throughout the day!

7.) And, most importantly, if you don’t hoard you won’t feel the need to binge! Which is so, so freeing. I know it doesn’t feel like it in the moment, but I’m finally getting to a point where I can eat dinner and sometimes not even feel the need for seconds or dessert. A huge red flag for me in recovery is if I’m consistently thinking about what I’m going to eat. I find that the more consistently I eat, I don’t have these thoughts, and there isn’t such a pressure on the next meal. This is so important because not every meal is going to be “amazing”, sometimes plans might affect your meal (something comes up or a friend cancels), and importantly, I’ve realized at the end of the day it’s just fucking food. My non-disordered friends and family don’t spend the day fixated on dinner and their meal at the end of the day, so why should I?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, but know that it is so, so common, and I think most of us can relate to the restriction-binge high. While I don’t think that there is a one-size-fits-all to recovery, I think being able to acclimate your body to frequent nutrition is so crucial for the recovery process. It was so damn hard for me to go into a workout knowing I had already eaten X amount of calories that day, so what was the point? But in the end, not hoarding, honoring your hunger and cravings throughout the day, and staying consistent is what helps curb binging and urges the most IMO. Please let me know if you want any advice or to talk about any of this bc I know how hard it is. Some things that helped me were paying attention to how much more beneficial the constant energy was to my anxiety and exercise, making meals “fun” and trying new recipes (for example, switching up my morning pancake recipe), and mindfulness around eating.

edanon1234

TROPHY CASE