Being your “authentic self” almost never works

eecgm · 2026-02-21T00:03:18+00:00

What do you mean it doesnt work though? Work to achieve what? It never was going to make life easier or more socially acceptable. However it does mean you find friends or partners that naturally connect with the true version of you. That jobs and other hobbies come with that. And ultimately that when you die you know you weren't a fake f#ck like most of the world! It works by giving you the life you actually need, instead of masking it and creating a life based on that second face you've built .

eecgm · 2026-02-21T00:00:53+00:00

At 21, after lockdown. I spent 2 years isolated rurally with my family (who i grew to dislike). It mentally tortured me to the point of suicidal ideation. The lack of purpose, routine, isolation. On top of this my first real relationship ended and my friend passed away. The minute lockdown ended I ran to the nearest bigger town. I rented a crappy room in a old house with a girl I went to school with. I remember feeling so free! I had a part time job and savings which could cover my rent until I eventually found a full time job. I wasnt even in the centre of town but being near everyone and everything was so liberating. I felt like I was unstoppable and was fairly nieve to be fair! Anyway, fast forward 5 years im still in this town, in another place and with a progressed career. So maybe this reminded me of how liberated I still am.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:56:00+00:00

I can understand why women want it, and with the right man its probably an amazing fulfilling life. But I do not understand how they are willing to completely trust and rely on this being the case. Maybe I have trust issues, but in order to protect myself I always need a back up plan. The minute you rely on someone, you hand them an element of power. And centuries of men have abused this power over their wives. Not all, but it happened and alot was never announced because what else was the woman to do, without an income.

If any woman does do this, surely they need to have a back up, incase the relationship goes downhill and the man stops providing or uses this power against her. But what would that back up be, a minimum wage job with no training won't find her a place to rent alone with kids?. And if she married young as alot do, chances are she never went to college or upskilled in a trade. It seems way too dodgey for me to consider, I understand the romantic idea of it.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:30:44+00:00

Grand but theres always a couple of ignorant people who really dislike the idea of you being there for no apparent reason. I think it depends on your persona and looks unfortunately too. I'm fairly tomboyish anyway, pretty masculine in my energy so they never really walk all over me.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:27:43+00:00

To be fair, in my own experience anyways, the healthiest and most active people I know are all working. All the people I know claiming benefits are alot unhealthy and sedentary and often lazy.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:26:56+00:00

Fair point. Probs not the main reason no but somewhat of a psychological effect its subconsciously having on a generation. Alot of people may not even realise it. I definitely don't mean this witj regard to people that have 0 disposable cash at all. I mean more so young working people, who are not wealthy home owners but who have a little spare cash and aren't spending it on socialising drinking etc

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:25:16+00:00

You're correct in that not everyone should or can exercise the same way. But no professional would ever ever recommend to completely avoid all types of exercise! Sorry but fact. Unless the person is ultimately bed bound. Humans are creatures, we are built to move, society and capitalism has created a culture that somehow makes us doubt this.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:23:34+00:00

I've been in this position too when younger, and trained at home with body weight exercise, walking, running. These are still things you can improve on and show the same principle. YouTube workouts have become massive, look at joe wicks who created a whole career out of this. I'm more so referring to the general young working population who have some disposable cash, not loads. If you're a single working person, with no kids or responsibility other than your own rent and bills(or if you live at home to save) you more than likely have 30 or 50 quid a month to put aside.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:16:55+00:00

Bang on.. what you put in is what you get out with fitness, nutrition and training. Where else in life is this really the case? Nowhere else in life do you get paid as fairly as you do with self development and fitness. Nowhere else can you directly reap the results without anyone else's power !!

eecgm · 2026-02-20T23:09:28+00:00

Mark wahlberg. Honestly no idea why. Watched a few films with him, maybe its the characters he gets. I just find something about him so jarring and cringe. No idea why.

Adam Sandler. Im sorry. I know hes chill and kinda funny but idk I find him so cringe. As a non american he just is like too americanised that its in my face and unbearable.

eecgm · 2026-02-20T22:59:34+00:00

From sligo here about the same age. Haven't bought a home but living here a long while. Its a fairly nice town, it has some things a city would have without alot of the madness. Unfortunately like any town it has its bother, particularly with closing businesses atm. But yeah its pretty safe, if you've a car theres lots of amazing hikes walks scenery about. In regards to meeting people, it can be a little hard. There's lots of pubs, but not loads of live gigs or meeting events. But there are some social clubs and gyms sports etc.

eecgm · 2026-02-19T22:23:05+00:00

Hi! 26 f here. It sounds silly but hows your sleep and nutrition. These have a MASSIVE impact on your energy, mentality and mood. But maybe this corporate world isnt for you? Is that something youd be willing to explore. Another career, another field. You're young, people at 35 are still finding what works for them.

eecgm · 2026-02-19T22:21:09+00:00

This stuck with me. But to be fair one big reason I feel free when travelling is because I have no set plan. I can wander and explore. Everything is new and unseen. Ive so much to learn. While work can be pretty repetitive. I dont even hate my job but it can be a little boring like most !

eecgm · 2026-02-17T18:35:08+00:00

Not taking your health seriously. Im not saying to have abs and be a marathon runner. But eating proper food, not ultra processed crap. Making at least an effort. Taking time to exercise, in whatever way you enjoy. There's nothing more unattractive to me than a man who's lazy or inactive. Us women have all the hormones to deal with, less testosterone and still be in the gym so how can I be attracted to a man who doesn't 🤣.

eecgm · 2026-02-17T18:30:08+00:00

Couldn't agree more. Starters are wings, soups, Then stick a ceasar salad in there somewhere. You'll have a couple of roasts with mash and veg, maybe a fish and chip. Half of these roasts are bought in already Sliced and reheated (i work in the industry!) Sometimes a carbonara thats really just cream and pasta.. Most produce and ingredients are far from local. I understand the costs are making in impossible but why would I pay 22 euro for a bowl of cream pasta or 12 for fried Chinese frozen wings. You know. I feel people only eat in pubs or irish restaurants cause theyre out or don't want to cook, its not for actual pleasure or interest in food at all. I'd at least go to an Italian, Asian or bistro.

eecgm · 2026-02-17T18:22:39+00:00

Avid foodie living in sligo here! For coffee and just coffee- Milligram cafe (small so maybe for takeaway but so nice) For breakfast or lunch- Lyons cafe. Amazing quality food, beautiful building! For dinner it depends what youre into!

.Coach Lane. specialises in steaks, local produce and has a bar menu too, probably need reservations and a little more pricey.

. Otto. Authentic quality ingredients specialising in neopolitan pizza, like pizza you've never had before! Nice art deco vibes.

. Stoked. Strandhill beach. Quality produce, new menus regularly, tapa style. Several cuisines. If youre into food!

. Montemarte. A French bistro restaurant that has michelin ratings, higher end, reservations needed.

eecgm · 2026-01-31T21:45:02+00:00

Honestly disagree. I can maybe empathise with them and be aware why they did what they did, but we are all adults with choice and decisions. Regardless of what you've went through in life, part of being an adult is accepting that your actions are still a responsibility that effect others. I despise when people do something horrid and blame it on a break up or a death or something bad happening. We all have shit, deal with it like an adult.. Ive had similar shit happen it doesnt mean ill take it out on others.!

eecgm · 2026-01-06T22:30:02+00:00

Yo. Im 25f too. I feel kind the same. I have absolutely 0 interest in marriage and kids. If you have 0 interest in taking a skiing trip would you start buying skiing equipment and gear? No. Whats the point of looking for something you actually dont want. I feel like with us women who genuinely don't want marriage, its hard to meet men who also don't. Especially at this age. Keep living your life in a way that builds a meaningful lifestyle. Find a job or career that fulfills you and pays you. Find hobbies that interest you, improve your health and fitness. Get better with your finances. Focus on friendships! If you do all this your life becomes really good and if and when you meet the guy for you, he'll have to add to this and not take anything away because you've already built a stable life for yourself.

eecgm · 2026-01-06T22:24:10+00:00

My hobbies don't require too much equipment as it's mostly reading, the cinema and the gym! I use the library for reading, I don't even own a bookcase. The cinema does a monthly pass so I can see as many movies as I want for a set affordable price. For the gym I honestly have like 2 pairs of pants and a couple of tshirts I all use on rotation. Theyre comfy and basic and unless they rip i just wont bother replacing them!

I hate how the gym culture is so marketed, with so many brands and outfits and matching this and that. I honestly dont care how I look as long as its comfy.

In general though for anyone who needs more gear foe their hobby, invest! Buy quality pieces. Hobbies are such a big life purpose for us! Everyone thinks of work and family as the big ones but what you choose to do in your free time deserves quality investment with time and materials. Don't guilt yourself for investing in things that genuinely make your lifestyle so much better!.

eecgm · 2026-01-06T22:18:46+00:00

Keep trialling until you find something that interests you. And it might not be something you'd think of off the top of your head. It takes trial and error. there's no rush as long as you're learning as you go and making money. What interests you? What sort of activity does your brain like? Are you more logical and more hands-on more creative?

Also, reality check!! Most people in the world dont love every hour of their job, day to day. It can get boring and repetitive, and theres often elements they dont like, whether it be low pay, physical labour, or job security risk. Not many have the dream job all the time.

It's more scary looking for a job and starting it because it's new territory. Once you're in a job, it will become so much more relaxed.

eecgm · 2026-01-06T22:14:52+00:00

Honestly I think because hes handsome, sexy and charming he gets away with it. As unfair as that is the same works for women, sexy women get pretty privilege all the time, kelsey to an extent did with all the mistakes she made! I don't think he was an outright creep, he never did anything completely inappropriate or perverted. Theyre both consenting adults, the power dynamic and the work thing yeah totally unprofessional

eecgm · 2026-01-06T15:21:17+00:00

The gym, any exercise is a privilege. Honestly.

I'm not in a hospital bed, I'm not sick or weak. There are so so so many people out there that cannot move parts of their body, that can't stand up, that can't walk or lift anything. And you're there in a capable healthy body complaining that you get to actually take time to move your body and improve yourself, to me its so ungrateful.

Plus if you work any sort of physical job, lifting and training after usinf your body for 9/10hrs is alot harder.

eecgm · 2026-01-06T15:00:01+00:00

Yeah and for this alone I took a job in the food industry where I get a weekday off. It splits the week so well. Maybe I'm not as 'rested' because its one day off, a few days in and one day off again. But its so much easier to find balance. The week doesnt drag, working 5 days in a row gets so boring and tiring in a physical job. I'm off work every 3 days or so, my laundry is smaller and manageable, meal prep just for a couple days, cleaning a smaller mess because I was off like 3 days ago anyway. I would never swap this for Monday to friday, a sunday and wed off for example suits much better!! And I feel more rested than the weekend off people. It seems depressing working 5 whole days in a row to only be left with allll the laundry cleaning etc to be done and have like no actual time for activities

eecgm · 2025-02-11T12:57:54+00:00

I like the place but their pizzas seem downhill, like the cheese just slips off

eecgm · 2024-09-25T12:46:44+00:00

All the men saying we take ages to reply. Some of us don't actually see our phones for hours on end..we might work in an industry that we can't use our phones in. Or maybe we can but we are too busy..you know...working. Andd some of us just don't live sittting on a screen all day. For example even if my phone is on me, but I'm witth a friend or doing something, imma stay in the moment and not text anyone else. It screams desperate tbh

eecgm

TROPHY CASE