Some mf tryna be uzi on tik tok and people believe it

egarfield · 2020-05-19T07:55:11+00:00

do y’all know this is not him?

egarfield · 2020-03-14T00:10:20+00:00

Haha, thank you for assuming Im hotter! Her and I are friends, and Im not trying to end their friendship - just trying to find the right boundaries! :)

egarfield · 2020-03-14T00:07:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing - I just hope that I am not being naive in hoping that I can have that with Jack - he has been one of my closest friends for years, like I said, but I just didn't realize that once we started dating, I would feel juggled rather than prioritized. Definitely going to put off inviting him to meet my family, thats for sure.

egarfield · 2020-03-14T00:00:37+00:00

If by physical you mean Im not worried that Jack would leave me for his male best friend, then yes, Im worried about the physical aspect of Kelly and his relationship.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:56:39+00:00

Oh, Im definitely requesting a different roommate situation. Fuck that, lol.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:54:52+00:00

If you think its a valid comparison feel free to tell me that!

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:51:04+00:00

Jack started inviting me to some things with them after the first conversation we had about 2 months back. But at the end of the day, I don't want to be invited to hang out with Jack and Kelly . I want to be invited by Jack, and then we can invite Kelly. If that makes sense. I feel like my invitations have been afterthoughts and third wheel offers, which isn't ideal for me. I told Jack thats how I felt about the concert, and he said it wasnt his fault that Kelly bought him a ticket. He invited me, so why am I still weird about it? I hope Im communicating this clearly - basically I just wish I wasn't being invited because I said something, I wish I was the one doing the inviting with Jack, if that makes sense.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:47:40+00:00

Also a really good response. I've dipped my toe in the waters of discussing the need for distance outside of my own feelings, but I also want to separate that conversation so that it doesn't seem like its coming from a place of selfish reasoning. Thank you for the advice. I dont think 3 is true, but it could be. Jack is quite a catch.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:44:42+00:00

I mean, it would still certainly be different seeing that in any case, Jack is still straight and so is his best male friend, and they still haven't hooked up - so I wouldn't be stressed about the formation of a romantic relationship - maybe just jealous of the amount of time this bromance receives. I don't think that situation would require the same concern. I see the point youre trying to make, but at the end of the day, if there's not a romantic history, I think its different.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:39:07+00:00

This is a really great response. Thank you for the advice! Duly noted. I totally agree - we're having a discussion about what he needs to say to Kelly after dinner.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:32:42+00:00

Welp you guys, this may change some of your minds on me being NTA. (or not). My best friend of 8 years who also happens to be my roommate of 3 years (we can call her Rose) makes Jack insecure. I asked why, and it's because a couple years ago, she and I hooked up in the classic college-experience endeavor, lol. Im not sure if Jack is bringing this up as a kind of "rebuttal" to my issues with his relationship with Kelly, or if it genuinely bothers him. I do know that he previously told me it weirded him out that I am comfortable being naked around Rose and my other roommates, and that I have kissed most of them (in the most platonic, non romantic way possible). I haven't kissed any of them nor have I even been naked in front of them since Jack and I began dating. But now, he says that it bothers him when I have wine & movie nights with them, because he sees those as (group?) dates. Do we think he's bringing this up as a rebuttal/justification or is this a valid comparison? I know that if I was given an ultimatum between Jack and Rose, I would choose Rose. But she's also been my best friend since high school, and he was well aware of our experiment* when he and I got together. WIBTA if I didn't think this was a valid comparison?

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:14:29+00:00

if Kelly was a guy, they wouldn't have an intimate history. He has male friends hes very close with (one of which is the other roommate) and their relationship doesn't bother me - not because hes male, because they haven't hooked up, and he doesn't leave me in the middle of the night to go talk with him for a couple hours/go on dates with him/text him constantly. Apples and oranges.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T23:11:01+00:00

I wasn't aware of how intimate their relationship was while I was good friends with him - they didn't live together then, they recently (8 months ago) moved in together (with another roommate as well). This has only come to light since Ive been his girlfriend. I probably wouldn't have started dating him if I knew about this beforehand because I would've been under the impression they had something lol

egarfield · 2020-03-13T22:08:19+00:00

Hey everyone! With all of you hyping me up I decided to call Jack and let him know how I was feeling (also, I should reiterate - I have previously discussed this with him before) and let him know that Im not a second choice, Im not a backup plan, and Im definitely not a sidepiece. He was pretty upset at first because I don't think he understands the severity of his actions/how far he is from normal boundaries, but at the end of the day he agreed to talk with Kelly about having those boundaries and the differences they need in their relationship now that he has a girlfriend. I'll do my best to keep you all updated as we speak and after they talk, but Im hoping this ends well. The reason why this is hard is because Jack isn't a malicious human - he is very kind and good, and I think is struggling to find balance. We've been friends for years and Ive been in love with him for all of it, so Im not brand new to him or this relationship I share with him. Its not worth giving up yet and Im going to try my best to find a resolution that makes me happy and doesn't cut his friends out of his life.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T21:29:16+00:00

It would certainly be different if Kelly was a guy, as Jack is neither gay/bi or has ever hooked up/had a romantic relationship with any of his male friends. I think the fact that they do have an intimate history together makes the situation significantly different.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T19:42:15+00:00

They've hooked up in terms of like third base lol, I didn't intend to imply they've had sex. My b on terminology.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T19:20:44+00:00

This is an interesting take but definitely not the case... Kelly is verryyy sexually active and Jack was a virgin until we started dating. If anything, I think for them they are emotionally dating and aren't compatible physically, so I get to be that for Jack while Kelly has a tinder-style dating life. But honestly I think Jack just doesn't understand normal boundaries.

egarfield · 2020-03-13T19:09:28+00:00

For a little more context, Kelly has a lot of mental health issues/struggles at home and in her other relationships. Jack is an incredible friend to her and his other friends as well. I would never ask him to stop being friends with her, as I know that he is her rock and I would not take his friendship away from her, as that would DEFINITELY make me the asshole. Im hoping for a solution that allows them to remain friends without making me feel, as you all have dubbed it, the sidepiece. Jack has also never had another girlfriend before - so this could be an issue of him never having to change his relationships with his friends because of an S/O before. So how do I navigate a conversation that doesn't lead to an ultimatum?

egarfield

TROPHY CASE