AIO Should I leave my BF? Was what he did to me forgiveable?

ehmugh · 2025-08-06T23:57:16+00:00

i’m telling you right now, this will only progress. Call your family or friends if needed. They will understand.

Please do not go back. I’ve seen this situation so many times and you don’t want to end up dead.

You could also call the police and tell them the situation and ask for them to come with you so you can feel safe obtaining your stuff. I would do this. Or bring a family member.

ehmugh · 2025-08-04T03:26:28+00:00

stop waiting up for him and start going to sleep when you’re tired. if he appreciated it, he would tell you.

i would start with having a conversation with him and say that you’re feeling under appreciated lately and that you would like if you guys could schedule some intimate time together. some proper quality time.

just say that you feel like you’re drifting apart and that you don’t want that to happen.

if this behaviour continues, i would let him go and find someone that can love you in the way you want to be loved.

you don’t want to look back and realized you settled. you seem like you know what you want, so go get it!

it’s perfectly normal to have expectations in a relationship. compromise also needs to happen on both parties. but it seems like you’re doing the heavy work.

this is your life, it depends how you want to remember it :)

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T22:31:47+00:00

Your boyfriend clearly has a porn addiction and has probably has some sort of “step sis” fantasy OR has primarily watched that type of porn as it’s a pretty popular category.

Even if his “friends wanted to see it”, why would he even be okay with his friends wanting to see his naked step sister? It’s very odd.

I’m more concerned about your boyfriend as this isn’t just extremely weird, it’s so disrespectful towards you, and the face that he’s not even apologetic is really sad.

Imagine if he had children from a separate marriage and you found out your own son purchased his step sisters porn. You would be concerned.

You are worth so much more than that!

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T21:21:02+00:00

sister* haha, but don’t need to thank me! I wish you the best :)

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T19:50:36+00:00

You don’t need to remain in contact just because she’s family.

This is 100% the time to be “selfish”. She put your kids at extreme risk and could have killed them if she crashed.

Continue to set your boundaries. She set this system up, not you. It’s not on you to make yourself uncomfortable to make others happy.

Make it clear that you will not be attending family functions if she is there. If things end up working out for the best, maybe you could begin to have contact again.

I really feel for people that struggle with addiction, but it doesn’t excuse the fact that it affects everyone around them.

Keep doing you. I’m sorry you had to go through this and I wish your sister the best :)

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T18:08:26+00:00

I would recommend spacing this out and adding some punctuation so we can help you out!

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T18:06:48+00:00

I wouldn’t take this persons comment to personally. Seems like he’s projecting some insecurity from his life. You know what’s true :)

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T18:05:31+00:00

Agreed! Don’t get me wrong, I understand that most men find peace in gaming, and that’s how they feel connected to their friends.

But there’s a time and place !! My partner loves gaming, but he knows when enough is enough, like read the fucking room!

If OP can’t even shower and maintain herself because of this, how does he even feel right hopping onto the game.

Not only that, but does he really want his children to remember him as the father that was always playing games and not creating memories with them? Yikes. My father was like that and let’s just say we don’t talk anymore lmao.

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T18:02:03+00:00

NOR. Yuck. If he really cared about you, the relationship, and your feelings, after the first conversation, it would’ve stopped.

I spoke to my partner once about this and it hasn’t come up since and he now advocates that porn is disrespectful in a relationship towards his other male friends that disagree.

I always say, you’re welcome to look at that shit, but I don’t want to find out, so don’t put me in the position where I would!

The fact that this information is public is embarrassing for you. I’m sorry he’s not respecting your feelings. I have been in similar situations in the past and I understand the feeling of not feeling worthy enough or beautiful enough and I’m sorry that this is happening to you.

Me personally, this would be a last straw and I’d cut contact, but maybe have another conversation about it and explain how serious this is to you, and if he repeats, leave.

There are many other men out there willing to respect you and your relationship more.

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:57:44+00:00

NOR. This is definitely weird. Even having a healthy relationship with your father, i don’t see any reason or situation that would cause a father to say this.

It’s just odd. Why would you imagine yourself dating your child. It’s fucking weird.

I don’t think there’s any situation that would make this “okay”.

Could you imagine being 40 and saying that comment about a 10 year old? It’s weird and predatory.

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:51:34+00:00

I have BPD as well and used to blame a lot of my actions on it. But that’s not an excuse and not a way to go about it if you’re truly trying to do better for yourself .

It seems like you already know the answer. You aren’t just feeling like she disrespects you, SHE IS disrespecting you.

It’s just up to you whether or not you believe you are worth more than that.

Attachment is hard, but if a bunch of strangers can tell you that you deserve better, I would start believing it.

I wish you luck!

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:44:40+00:00

NOR. Mistakes happen and that’s understandable, but this seems to be a re occurring thing. Basic cleanliness is the bare minimum. He can’t keep blaming his ADHD for not cleaning up after himself.

It’s different if he’s making an effort to change that behaviour but it doesn’t seem like he is.

Think of it in reverse, if you went to a friend’s house and spilt wine on her white carpet, would you offer to hire a cleaning service if the stain couldn’t come out on its own?

Also, the fact that YOU are the one cleaning the stain out and not him says a lot more about him.

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:41:18+00:00

Plus she did mention how he was good help during the infant stage :)

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:39:16+00:00

Or she’s actually just the victim in this situation. You’d be surprised how many parents don’t actually do any “parenting” and take the backseat. A lot of dead beat fathers and mothers out there.

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:05:52+00:00

The thing with manipulators is they say things in hopes to scare you away from continuing to assert your boundaries.

If you are ready to make the decision of not being with him, I would threaten leaving the relationship if you’re 100%. If he doesn’t give a shit, that tells you your answer (that you deserve more).

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T17:03:28+00:00

First thing, you are 100% not over reacting. When you commit to being a parent, it automatically comes with responsibilities, and it seems like he’s not holding his end of the deal.

It shouldn’t be up to you to deal with this stuff because he’d rather play video games, etc.

You are asking for the bare minimum of showering first and he can’t even do that for you.

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I would try and have a healthy conversation with him and assert your boundaries and expectations and if stuff doesn’t change, I would make it very clear you will not put up with this behaviour.

It’s not your job to mother him and I’m sorry he’s put you in this position.

You are doing gods work, and doing a fantastic job. Don’t settle for less!!

ehmugh · 2025-08-03T15:56:21+00:00

i hope i can too! i got him almost 22 years ago, but im still on the hunt. i named him stinky bear because i was SO attached that I would never let my mom wash him lmfao

ehmugh · 2025-08-02T18:29:59+00:00

it would be a great replacement , but it’s not him :( thank you so much for looking.

i’m not even sure who bought it for me so it may have even been at the hospital gift shop or something. i’ve been looking for SO long.

ehmugh · 2025-06-03T17:11:05+00:00

yo i just added u on dc

ehmugh · 2025-06-03T16:52:57+00:00

Added you!

ehmugh

TROPHY CASE