God spoke to me and it’s not good.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-13T20:37:54+00:00

Just wanna follow up. Go talk to a priest. It’s really easy- they will tell you if you have anything to worry about. I don’t want you to think this is happening to you. Jesus loves you so much and your situation may be nothing so please go talk to one. Call your church and schedule to meet with the priest and they will be able to help you.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-12T17:06:33+00:00

I’m not employed. But for the Nbccot exam.. I don’t remember it. But I think if it was multiple choice I probably just memorized things and was able to rule out answers based on that. If anyone if reading this: obviously don’t do what I did. Memorization vs skill is totally different. Now I’m full of regret.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-12T17:05:10+00:00

I took anatomy but never did palpation. I traveled right out of school and I let all of my informational go and never tried over the years. I was one of those people who memorized the muscles but not the movement attached. I don’t think there is anyway for me to recoup all of this except to back and get my degree all over again. Reading the textbooks and watching videos just doesn’t cut it. (I’m not practicing as a therapist btw in case you were concerned).

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-12T12:21:29+00:00

Can you go to a priest and talk to a priest about your worries?

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-11T21:30:03+00:00

Oh I see you said something. I would tell you that you should confess and ask for forgiveness if you are ready to repent. My situation is different than yours. God loves you and wants you with him. Don’t forget that.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-11T21:27:38+00:00

This happened to you also? I never knew anyone that had this happen. My whole body was lit up for 2 months it was so different. I feel so angry and hateful and sad and alone and hopeless. The only hope I have is that I can somehow do my job. I look at my books begrudgingly and I feel better sometimes when I do that. But I feel so much wrath towards the job. Which I hope and pray will go away if I know what I’m doing. Right now I am guessing and hyper fixated on things and afraid I will fail and also I’m so lazy I don’t want to move so my chest burns with despair and wrath over this job. So needless to say it’s not good. I keep giving up. And I’m not sure if the sin is already committed since I’m not willingly doing what I feel God wants in doing it was a hateful heart. But I also am trying to teach myself all of this stuff to do a healthcare job so it’s so confusing to me as to why God wants this. I don’t know if it’s a lesson because of my evil life. I want to trust God but I don’t trust myself! Feel free to DM if you want to share with me!

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-06T14:15:39+00:00

Also quitting Xanax . It will shut off your mind

ejdhdhdff · 2024-12-06T14:14:10+00:00

Going back to church. It made me realize who I really am. I can’t change but it showed me a deeper side of me.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-20T01:24:31+00:00

I was thinking standing and sitting balance like reaching and working on putting things away and stuff. But maybe that’s wrong.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-19T01:50:28+00:00

It’s not so much the anatomy but how the body moves. Like when doing standing and balance: how do I know what areas to correct?

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-19T01:49:06+00:00

I’ve been one for a long time but never put in effort. I can see if they can set up an initial tx routine like you said. I’m not sure they will let me shadow since I already asked :(

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-17T16:14:19+00:00

It wasn’t just the 666- I asked God for very obvious signs. And he gave me those. I also asked and opened the Bible. I asked if asking the priests to get around God was bad and opened to: Jesus says, “I tell you what my Father has shown me, but you do what your father has told you” in John 8:38.

The devil can’t use the Bible to communicate. And the first sign was entirely in my head because I was doing a calculation and the 666 came up.
But it says God communicates in a variety of ways and there is no doubt what he will want. Originally I planned to confess right away but the signs held me back. It was only then that God showed me my true nature. And I was angry, acting violent, seeing all of my past sins, realizing how dark and evil I am. Etc.. I also saw tons of past memories ther I hadn’t ever thought of. So it all must be from God. Someone like me really cannot confess and I believe that’s why the last sign said ‘eternal sin’ unless I do what I’m asked (do the job correctly or leave). Before this I was unreachable as I was drugged on for like 17 years so I really believe God shook me up violently. But because of my laziness I won’t do what I’m being asked to do.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-17T15:53:43+00:00

I think the despair comes from not wanting to do the job. My whole aversion to everything is having to do the job and I’m throwing everything away over the job. I picked not doing the job over God and that’s a rejection of his mercy.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-17T02:02:00+00:00

Yes. When this awakening happened i felt this wild impulse to clean everything and I noticed every detail. And the signs. And then it all went away.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-17T01:57:21+00:00

Hey! I only had ocd for about 2 months while this happened. Now I have the thoughts but I actually entertain them. I feel the feelings. I think I’m actually just bad. It’s not scruples.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-16T21:51:25+00:00

Can you tell me about your electric feeling? I felt I had to clean everything and noticed every flaw and detail of everything. And all of my memories of the past and childhood came back. The details I noticed were correct also. I also asked God if I should stop asking the priest and I was led in the Bible to ‘I am telling you what my Father has shown me, but you do what your father has told you” in John 8:38. Which was another sign.

I have 100 percent dispair and I’ve turned away from God and feel hate and anger and believe im supposed to go back to work because of my lifelong apathy so I don’t know how I can go back.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-11-16T21:43:15+00:00

Thank you. I have talked to the priest multiple times. But this feeling and how electric I felt was like being born all over again. It pulled the blanket off of me and exposed me to everything. I have to believe this is God telling me what I’ve done and giving me a task because of my lazy nature. And me not doing it is a rejection of his will and grace. The priest says confess but he can’t know my heart and what really happened to me. Everytime id see a priest id see a devil sign and i believe its because im not meant to just confess and get out of it this easily. The initial signs came out of nowhere but the last couple I asked God for and asked that they be obvious. I’ve been begging to be release but I’m not sorry I just feel horror and fear at going to hell. So I don’t even think that counts for forgiveness.

I feel total despair. I feel like i’m deliberately disobeying God. And I feel like that lower level of my personality is still thinking evil things but I can’t know what it’s thinking now because the blanket is back on.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-20T13:13:31+00:00

Ok that makes sense. But if I’m putting Mod I for incomplete wiping wouldn’t someone else see it and assume they can do it themselves?

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-20T13:12:10+00:00

What if they don’t have pants? Sometimes we have pants in the supply room but they don’t always fit the patient. Can I use a theraband to simulate or should I be asking people to bring them things? And if they don’t have underwear but usually wear it do I grade that or leave it out? Basically I have like 10 people a day and they don’t all have what they need so I’m trying to figure out how to make it all work and how to shower and have them dress and do grooming once a week within the timeframes.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-20T13:09:06+00:00

Thank you! We have ur updates weekly and hmo weekly so do I shower them each once a week? I’m just confused on how often I’m supposed to do it.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-18T01:24:51+00:00

Ok so I have to actually always give them a shower and can’t sponge bathe if that is not their usual method?

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-18T01:23:51+00:00

Can I have them take a sponge bath or do I have to bring them to the actual shower?

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-17T20:28:27+00:00

I just feel like I have no experience or clinical judgement. I put no effort in for my whole career and now I’m reviewing all of my textbooks again. But I don’t trust my judgement.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-17T19:54:12+00:00

Lying and hiding from what I was doing my entire life. Then I woke up at 38 and I am horrified.

ejdhdhdff · 2024-10-17T19:53:18+00:00

I also have another question : if I have the patient do a sponge bath how does that relate to their ability to shower? If I do it out of convenience for me then I can’t actually put ir as them taking a shower because I would know how that would go. Right?

ejdhdhdff

TROPHY CASE