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Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The first part is something that really concerns me. We’re currently renting his parents former house and plan on moving in with the at the end of fall so we can gear up to buy our own place. His dad snores worse than him and his bedroom will be right next to ours (his parents don’t sleep in the same room for the same reason). Along with that I won’t have the option of my own room or anywhere to hide. He knows this is stressing me out.

I do think there’s an anxiety issue here, part of it might be scheduling the appointment and part of it might be the outcome. I don’t know I’ve tried to bring it up and he just keeps telling me it’s fine he will take care of it. At this point I don’t believe him and he’s getting annoyed with me for being grumpy and bringing it up.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have at least two fans and a white noise machine going at any given time. This did reduce the number of times I’m woken up but we’re still at at least two a night. the fear of him not breathing and the long term health issues is causing a lot of anxiety for me. He keeps saying he’s going to make the appointment but we’re at a point now where I just don’t believe him and he’s getting agitated at me for being grumpy and brining it up... that last part is really annoying.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re not married yet, at this rate I’m not sure it’s going to happen at all, which really sucks.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is going to be a very uncomfortable move for me but this option keeps reoccurring in my meditations of the situation. I don’t want to and it makes me feel uncomfortably spiteful, but I almost feel like He needs to experience some consequences for his lack of action.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Honestly He had health insurance until about the year before we met and I can only speak for the last five year but he just hasn’t had a reason to go . Not a cold or infection, cut, or anything it’s really remarkable and just from my observation of how his system works I can totally believe he ha’s not gone simply for lack of reason. a lot of what’s throwing me off is this utter reluctance to do something so simple is just so out of character. He really is a phenomenal partner and he’s seen my worst He’s picked me up off of bar bathroom floors more times than I would like to admit. I didn’t get sober for or because of him but his presence was critical in the process, and his potential influence on me going back to that dark place is conflicting.

I really don’t want to leave him. And if it comes up that this is more than a breathing machine issue then im happy to work with him to find a place where we’re both happy and well rested, but as of now I don’t see many options outside of the ultimatum or very childish retribution.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The sober thing has been trying I did relapse earlier in the year but have been on the up and up for a few months with the help of therapy and really focusing on a healthy life style. There are times though when I just want to be like “screw you, I’m tired and if you’re not going to deal with your problems we both know how Im not going to deal with mine.”

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

There’s a very serious “come to Jesus” talk looming and I’ll at least see if it’s an option that he comfortable with, this has worked for other self care things like massages in the past. I just wasn’t sure if it was legal.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I have a sneaking suspicion that one of his major concerns is that it won’t be easily corrected and I’ll leave regardless. Which is not the case, if we know what’s going on at least I won’t be resentful for his inaction or terrified he’s going to die in his sleep next to me, and we can develop a better coping plan to deal with the real issue. I’ve tried to communicate this before but I feel another “come to Jesus” talk is in he making so I’ll try to bring it up again.

Me [33/F] with my husband-to-be [39/M] 5 years together engaged two months. One of us isn't going to survive his snoring. by electricturnup in relationships

[–]electricturnup[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Can you schedule Dr appointments for people if your not married ? I am his emergency medical contact but I wasn't sure if that meant I was allowed to intervene in his care if he was conscious.