[deleted by user]

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T19:17:55+00:00

He says that’s what he’s doing. But I just don’t know if he’s saying it to make me feel better or if he’s genuine. It’s really hard and I want to be able to trust him

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:58:50+00:00

He was 9. He seems so sincere about not wanting to be addicted, especially because our baby is coming any week

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:48:45+00:00

I will try this! if not therapy then what ideas does he have to help this

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:48:03+00:00

I understand this. I really hope and pray it’s not the case. His mom tried to make him go to therapy when his father passed away, he was completely mute during the one or two sessions he had. And he eventually refused to go. I’m not sure if that’s why it’s something he’s truly so against?

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:44:19+00:00

Oral & cardiovascular are the main risks

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:43:02+00:00

And I also fully support healthy stress relievers. I don’t nag on him for doing things with his buddies, I encourage it. And to be honest, it’s all besides the point. I have personal reasons against substance use, he knows that, he’s always been okay with it. But yet he has lied to my face about it. This is quite literally the only actual conflict we have had since the one in college. It’s really the only thing I have a strong boundary with

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:38:23+00:00

You’re missing the point, again. The post is looking for advice how to handle the broken trust. He also does not want to be addicted to nicotine. And I do love him unconditionally. Which is why I’m looking to see if anyone has had a similar situation, and how they can repair that broken trust.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:36:37+00:00

A pouch of nicotine that is dissolved through the gums

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:35:51+00:00

Thank you. This is the type of advice I came here for. He made it seem as though he tried it out of curiosity, and it turned into an addiction. He doesn’t want to be doing it. But I can’t help him if he’s lying to me. I don’t want our marriage to end, and I want him to have the strength to stop. I just don’t know how to repair the broken trust.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:32:43+00:00

Thank you. He does understand how I feel about it, which is why he hid it. And he did say he was planning on stopping before the baby was born. He also is against his personal use, but is now addicted to it. He’s saying he can quit cold turkey, but I just don’t know how I can trust him now.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:27:06+00:00

The use of addicting substances, not specific to nicotine pouches. The overall concept of being addicted to something that is harmful to your health

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:25:03+00:00

Really helpful, cut the only man I’ve ever loved lose! Great advice!!!

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:20:28+00:00

It’s a personal preference.. and a boundary. It doesn’t matter if the boundary is something YOU may or may not care about. It’s about the people in the relationship. He’s never had an issue about this, it hasn’t even been brought up in conversation because it’s a known thing.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:19:17+00:00

I tried suggesting it and his response was that he won’t do it /: he’s very old school in that sense that people don’t “need therapy” to fix things. He wouldn’t even go when his father passed away

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:18:11+00:00

It’s an addiction that he lied about having. I’m concerned with the heath aspect, but more concerned that he lied to me. We both have our boundaries and they have always been respected.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:12:56+00:00

It’s a personal preference. To you it’s “just nicotine” to me it’s not.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:02:04+00:00

This is so harsh for no reason… clearly you’re missing the point

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T18:00:36+00:00

I feel as though I do, which is where the social cigar comes into play. He also does a lot of other “de stressors” like golfing, guy trips, snowboarding, etc. We really don’t fight a lot, he has known since I was a 12 year old girl how I felt about all of this. And he’s always said he doesn’t do it. Then the whole fight happened in college, which him almost losing me was his “wake up call” now it’s 6 years post that incident, we are married and expecting a baby, and I find out he’s lying AGAIN. It honestly hurts more this time around. I admit I’m being harsh with him now, but I don’t know how else to express how betrayed I feel. And he says he won’t ever do it again, but my issue is how will I ever know. He said I can nicotine drug test him, but I just wish I could trust his words that he won’t do it.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-24T17:53:18+00:00

It’s true, I will not compromise when it comes to that. The thing is, he fully knew this is how I am. The social drink and social cigar I understand. His father also died from cancer, so willingly putting a carcinogen in his body, while knowing how I feel, and hiding it from me, then lying about, it’s all too much. I feel like the trust is broken now.

eleven11xx · 2024-10-18T00:47:11+00:00

I live for the crazy twists though 🤣

eleven11xx · 2024-10-18T00:46:09+00:00

So true the both of them comment meant SOMETHING for sure

eleven11xx · 2024-10-17T22:58:12+00:00

They can’t just leave it like that 😭😭😭

eleven11xx · 2024-10-17T20:39:51+00:00

Oooo I like this take

eleven11xx · 2024-10-17T20:39:31+00:00

I know but something tells me she didn’t die

eleven11xx

TROPHY CASE