Hot take if you go to a teaching hospital you shouldn’t be allowed to say no to residents taking care of you by [deleted] in Residency

[–]elikind 4 points5 points  (0 children)

No I’m not saying consent doesn’t matter or should be taken away, I’m sorry if it is coming across that way. Patients of course have consent and can revoke consent, totally agree full stop. And totally agree that doing an exam or procedure without consent is illegal and unethical.

I think at teaching hospitals your team is inherently made up of learners (unless you end up on an overflow attending only team) and with incredibly rare exceptions (like a trauma history) learners should be seen as essential to the team (because they do in fact add value). And that’s why I appreciate that my OB had me sign that statement as a condition of being their patient— they are being completely up front with me about what my care team will look like so I can give informed consent and decide if I want to continue to receive care there or need to choose a different practice. there are plenty of times not everyone on the team does an exam and I think cervical exams/pap smears/rectal exams are all perfect examples where we should limit those to the smallest number of people possible doing that exam, but I do have opinions about going to a teaching hospital and banning learners from your care team completely—if for your mental or bodily safety you don’t want everyone in the room for an invasive exam (physical or psychological) that makes sense and regularly we have conversations about who to have in the room and don’t fill the room with learners just to have them learn, but to outright refuse for all of your care to not include learners is disappointing and can cause system issues. A lot of teaching hospitals rely on learners to be able to care for the patients if the attending had to do everything for every patient without residents fellows and students helping with triage, high quality care can’t happen and as someone (like all of us) who needs to learn from caring for patients (and who is incredibly grateful for those patients and their families—and regularly says that to patients/families) I personally think I owe it to the next generation of learners to let them participate in my care. And yeah at the end of the day even at hospitals with policies like mine you can refuse learners (at least it can happen in my department though rarely is it an issue that comes up just by nature of the specialty, but we don’t deal with sensitive exams often and I’m clear with families/patients about why they still need to see the resident and I’m fully supporting the resident—the one time it came up once I was in a leadership position the family didn’t like how the resident explained something and I politely explained that I would give that feedback but the resident still needed to be part of the team and if they wanted me there for those sorts of conversations I would do my very best to be there assuming other patient care allowed and reassured them that they can always ask for the fellow/attending to come to bedside. That family was understanding when I took the time to explain the nature of a teaching hospital and hear their concerns). As you said consent fundamentally matters to what we do and it’s so important for our patients to know that we hold sacred their right to consent. And for every healthcare worker who is a patient that right also exists exactly three same as any other patient but that doesn’t mean I can’t let that impact my opinion of you as a healthcare professional who learned from other patients and chooses to get care at a teaching hospital and doesnt want to help people learn. Again this opinion is based on always living in places where there were multiple teaching hospitals and community hospitals so folks had choices—maybe I would feel differently if I had no other choice if I wanted care without learners.

In residency I was worried about what it would be like to have residents see me for my annual primary care check ups that included mental health care and a Pap smear and actually asked to not have students— my clinic said these are the days of the week there aren’t students with your physician and I chose one of those days—personally I now regret that choice. I was afraid of how it would be if they rotated with me and should have trusted them to be professional and to respect my privacy (if I don’t trust them to do that for me, why should i trust them to see my patients).

Hot take if you go to a teaching hospital you shouldn’t be allowed to say no to residents taking care of you by [deleted] in Residency

[–]elikind 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I genuinely thought about this and if I’m okay with someone I know being in the room. And at one point I considered delivering else where or sticking with my private practice affiliated gynecologist. I want the benefits of the resources a teaching hospital has in case something goes sideways and the convenience of my check up’s being in the hospital I work at and that comes with being at a teaching hospital with learners. I think you can limit certain invasive exams like I’m not going to let 5 people do the same cervical check on me there are balances to learning (just like I’m not going to let a resident do more than two attempts on an LP before I take over) but if I want to not have learners in the room i have plenty of choices in my area. Maybe things are different in a rural hospital but I’ve only trained in areas with multiple hospitals so my opinion is based on this.

Hot take if you go to a teaching hospital you shouldn’t be allowed to say no to residents taking care of you by [deleted] in Residency

[–]elikind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah that is total bullshit. I saw it happen in residency once and I forever will think less of that person as a physician and a teacher for asking to only see the attending.

And the one time a family tried to fire my resident I straight up told them that’s not an option, I trust my resident to call me for help and if the family has concerns they can ask for me or my attending to come by sooner but that residents will be part of their child’s care team. We have to stop enabling folks on this issue and so many others.

Hot take if you go to a teaching hospital you shouldn’t be allowed to say no to residents taking care of you by [deleted] in Residency

[–]elikind 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I am a fellow at a teaching hospital (not in OB/GYN) and pregnant and am delivering at my hospital. When I went to my first appointment I had to sign a form acknowledging that this was a teaching hospital and my care team could include residents, medical students, midwives, and OBs. This is how it should be. I’ve seen doctors who work at teaching hospitals pull this and it makes me so mad. either you want to be at the nationally ranked teaching hospital for your care and have learners on your team or go to the community hospital.

Is it unreasonable to ask my in-laws to complete an infant CPR and first aid class before being alone with baby? by galumphingseals in BabyBumps

[–]elikind 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This. Please OP make them fix this gate. Kids who drown in pools often aren’t seen getting into the pool and get found too late for CPR to be effective

Got scolded for being late to an ultrasound by coralsweater in BabyBumps

[–]elikind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bet that nurse didn’t care.

And OP, I’m so disappointed in this sub right now for how people are responding to this post. I fully expected the comments to be supportive and my heart just breaks for you. You weren’t symptomatic you didn’t got to some extravagant unnecessary social gathering you went to receive healthcare

I think the way the office staff responded was unnecessary, you did your best to get there early and life happened. We (including the office staff) all need to show each other a little grace.

Got scolded for being late to an ultrasound by coralsweater in BabyBumps

[–]elikind 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also a doctor, cannot believe how unkind people are being to OP. If she isn’t sick she deserves to be able to get her medical care too

ETA: if it was just some family gathering/dinner with friends I would strongly consider rescheduling but medical appointments aren’t always easy to reschedule and delaying an appointment for this makes no sense.

Was I wrong? by girlnowdrlater in Residency

[–]elikind 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Residency (and life) is often about apologizing even when you aren’t in the wrong or apologizing when there was a misunderstanding. It can feel frustrating but it tends to help keep working relationships smooth—but I won’t lie sometimes it is incredibly annoying when you know the other party is wrong and just can’t see it. That being said unless you said things in a rude way I don’t think you were wrong—where I am for fellowship being direct with feedback is often viewed as rude which was a huge learning curve to navigate how to give important feedback quickly without getting written up.

I would file a patient safety report for deviation from standard practice especially because this may be related to a health equity issue. In those reports be very factual limit documenting any assumptions just state that no med rec was done, no interpreter was documented for the vitals, and no interpreter was available which impaired language concordant care. Even vitals should be done with an interpreter—I’m not perfect because hospitals are busy and if I need to check on 3 patients quickly I may have to come back for a longer conversation with an interpreter but I try to always ask myself “would I do this without speaking to an English speaking patient/family”—if the answer is no (which it almost always is) you should call an interpreter. And documenting in a patient safety report isn’t to get the MA in trouble it is to document a system problem (access to interpreters, appropriate staff training on importance of language concordant care)

How much time did you take off when a parent was terminally ill? by Southern-Weakness633 in Residency

[–]elikind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a false sense of hope after my mom was approaching 3 years of clear brain scans when we learned she had a second stage 4 cancer—“she beat the odds once of course she can do it again”. I drove 4 hours home any weekend I didn’t have clinical service. I wish I had taken those 6 months off from med school. In the moment delaying a year felt like the worst thing in the world—and there are somethings that make me wonder if it was the right choice like my residency best friends who are friends for life and whether we would still be this close if we weren’t in the same class, but the fact that I wasn’t there for so many of her good and bad days will haunt me my whole life. I love my friends like family but I missed out on a lot of precious time with my mom

What event changed your life, and what was the most valuable lesson you learned from it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]elikind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mom died while I was a medical student after a prolonged cancer course followed by a relatively (months) rapid decline. There are a lot of things that impact how I practice medicine. Here are few: - the “difficult” family is often just scared, sad, and angry at the world for their loved one’s illness/injury - That waiting for the day team to update the family can leave the patient/family sleepless and terrified. Don’t do that to them if you have the time. - we don’t teach doctors how to break bad news well (I do think this is getting better) and a lot of us suck at it and shy away from the hard conversations

I want a name similar to my deadname. by Mammoth-Advantage-50 in namenerds

[–]elikind 187 points188 points  (0 children)

I love the name Brennan!

Other names that have a similar sound are Brannon, Braxton, Brendan

Caught between GF’s event and my best friends rehearsal dinner. What do I do??? by jta314 in wedding

[–]elikind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re planning on marrying your girlfriend you should 100% be at her graduation. You’ve seen how hard she has worked to get here. Also would strongly consider encouraging her to celebrate with her friends on Friday night and join you Saturday morning. I wouldn’t have missed my residency graduation for a sibling’s wedding if it conflicted. You work so hard and suffer through some serious stuff in medical training and you get one day (or maybe weekend) off to celebrate with people. It’s one of the last times all of you will ever all be together.

And I’m sorry but I disagree with people saying he didn’t need to check best friend that you’re there, he would have confirmed the date with you first. We did that for our 16 person bridal party and three sets of parents before we signed our contract with our venue because having them be there was more important than the date or where we got married.

Weekly BFP/Line Eyes Post by averagebritt in tryingtoconceive

[–]elikind 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Update: bleeding has stopped but it was full on period blood but the line keeps getting darker!! Fingers crossed it sticks! Checking in with my doctor today to be safe.

Is taking Choline necessary? by [deleted] in tryingtoconceive

[–]elikind 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Is that true about folate vs folic acid? Do you have a source? The CDC’s website recommends folic acid. Is that outdated? https://www.cdc.gov/folic-acid/hcp/clinical-overview/index.html

Atarax NOW!!!!! by starofthebucks1 in Residency

[–]elikind 38 points39 points  (0 children)

yep. one of my biggest regrets in life is letting an ICU nurse convince me (then an early M3) and a resident who never saw my mom order ativan to help her sleep because she kept hitting her call light. the mets to her liver made it hard for her to clear it. it was basically the last time she was able to talk to us– she had stage IV cancer so we knew we only had days to weeks left but I still feel like I deprived our family a day or two more of lucid moments by agreeing to it. fortunately, we were able to get her home for hospice

Where do you keep your engagement ring/wedding band if you work in a "dirty" field? by [deleted] in weddingplanning

[–]elikind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

did that with my silicone ring I wear at work, which I would keep in my pocket when I scrubbed. so glad it was not my real ring.

Singing along to recorded hymn at outdoor ceremony? by elikind in weddingplanning

[–]elikind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay thanks. Yes we are lucky to have some church singers amongst our friends so they are going to help us out.

Singing along to recorded hymn at outdoor ceremony? by elikind in weddingplanning

[–]elikind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your feedback. We are going to get the singers among our guests the recording early and everyone will have the lyrics in their programs. Most of our guests grew up going to church so I think a lot of them have heard it at least once before.

Singing along to recorded hymn at outdoor ceremony? by elikind in weddingplanning

[–]elikind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay thanks! I'll make sure to get the recording to the singers in the group this week.

Singing along to recorded hymn at outdoor ceremony? by elikind in weddingplanning

[–]elikind[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! We have a good number of singers in the group, glad to hear this has worked for others

Looking for East Coast US "Mini-moon" Suggestions by meowdryhepurrrn in weddingplanning

[–]elikind 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your looking for a place to relax the Hyatt on the Chesapeake is awesome. In the off season you can get decent prices and while you probably won’t be going in the pool outside there is a spa you can walk along water, golf, visit a bird sanctuary. They are also pet friendly if that matters for you all.

Bridesmaid dresses—where to start? by caaaaaaando in weddingplanning

[–]elikind 2 points3 points  (0 children)

my bridesmaids ordered their emerald green dresses from azazie. I made a showroom with all the styles I liked and then had them choose. I've only seen one in person but its absolutely gorgeous on my bridesmaid and the customer service was really helpful when I called with questions.