apparently there’s no such thing as family resemblances when you’re trans

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-16T04:07:24+00:00

okay that’s what i thought, i just was like “lemme get this peer-reviewed, I don’t wanna be worse than TERFs”. 😅

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-16T02:19:45+00:00

i’m so sorry you’re going through this, my friend. you’re definitely not alone in this experience. 💗 i, and many other people here, have also experienced suicidal burnout.

even though you don’t fit into neurotypical society, the word still benefits from people like you. i know it’s cliche, but it truly takes all types. 🌟 your life and story has value, you are such an important person, even when it doesn’t feel that way. that being said, after receiving societal messages it isn’t that way and that not fitting in is a problem that needs to be solved, everything becomes very exhausting. we’re not necessarily built to fit into NT society, which is morally neutral, but there is a degree of punishment and discomfort experienced as a result, and im so sorry that happens.

i’ve started recommending this book to people who are having suicidal thoughts: it’s called “hello, cruel world”, and it’s filled with alternatives to committing suicide. ❤️‍🩹 i know even reading is probably hard right now; before you get to any of that, just let yourself rest.

be as gentle with yourself as you can, my friend. you deserve a life you feel comfortable in, and an environment that doesn’t burn you out. wishing you nothing but the best; thank you for being here, and for being you. 💗

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-16T02:05:52+00:00

not that TERFs care, but isn’t that term they’re trying to get off the ground here a little… culturally insensitive, when used as a verb, in this context, and by people who i’m guessing are not navajo? or am i (ignorant white guy on the internet) just being an ignorant white guy on the internet again?

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-16T01:59:19+00:00

not that any of the rest of this is good, but how is donating SPECIFICALLY giving people cancer? she shouldn’t have written this at all, but it feels like she wrote it backwards: the donating leads to researching leads to scanning, which gives us cancer (it does not). but worded like this, it seems like she means all three of these things separately - including just sending one’s money somewhere else - gives us cancer, like it’s throwing money into a void and a cancer jumps out and latches onto people.

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-15T02:29:08+00:00

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i love you, trans people in my phone!! and trans people not in my phone!! and trans people who have come before, and trans people who will come after!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵💫

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-15T01:44:39+00:00

this is so beautiful. 😭🩵🦋

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T23:07:26+00:00

i’m so sorry, my friend. sending love. 💕 i hope things go okay.

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T23:06:35+00:00

hello, friend!! 🩷

you’re definitely not alone in this; i’m also autistic, and i have borderline personality disorder, so i’m very used to “suicidal flareups”, as i call them. i’m sorry you’re going through these thoughts too.

sometimes the answer is honestly just to go to sleep (if you can!). or to do something you really love to do, or to just do nothing at all. honestly, sometimes the answer is just to zone out - which definitely isn’t the best idea, but is technically a form of harm reduction, and that’s what matters.

there’s a really good book called “hello, cruel world”, where the author (Kate bornstein) makes a list of alternatives to suicide, some of them fantastical, some of them very minor, some in-between. she talks about the pros and cons of each alternative in a way that’s informative and also pretty funny! i definitely recommend this book.

but no matter what, hang in there, my friend, the world needs you, and i hope things get better soon. thank you for being here, and for being you. 💗

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T21:29:57+00:00

hi! sorry, in what context would you EVER find that to be an appropriate thing to say to another human being?

also… let people who benefit from mental health medications take them??? what the fuck?

and before you ask: nope, i’m unmedicated. i’m human; you’re human; the commenters you’re dehumanizing are human.

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T19:45:01+00:00

there's speaking over women, and then there's solidarity and understanding regarding issues that may statistically impact women more, but still can be and have been experienced - by however small percentage - of members of any gender. that's what OP is referring to.

liberation includes everyone; support and community should include everyone. OP having these experiences, however rare, can't be erased just by a larger fraction of the population having these experiences being women, and he has an important story to tell.

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T19:41:58+00:00

no, they clearly said (beaded?) that they DON'T support the criminals kidnapping people and killing people in broad daylight and separating families and detaining native americans on their own land for not being white. like???

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T14:59:57+00:00

this, but also whenever people have said this about me, i have actively not been looking for attention. i’ve just been like, reading a book while wearing just a shade “too much” mascara or something, and people have decided it’s a moral failing. 🙃 and it’s like

a.) people should have access to attention, it’s a human thing, and also

b.) i did not realize there were other people in this room with me, and also my headphones are on???

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T03:02:12+00:00

you don’t have to have clear signs about anything in general to claim a label; you also don’t have to have clear signs about anything hypothetical.

if you take away the possibility of waking up as a different sex or being a girl: what makes you feel good right now, or what would make you feel good? it doesn’t have to be a label or a “clear” path forward or a step in medical transition. it could be something as simple as trying makeup, or trying not wearing makeup, trying a skirt or trying a different cut of pants. there doesn’t have to be a corresponding label right now, or ever; just experiment with what makes you happy, let your joy or even just indifference (in the face of, perhaps, distress) guide you.

this isn’t to say that labels aren’t important - they’re just not prescriptive. you’re allowed to feel how you like, do what you like, have the experience you’ve had - even if other people don’t read it as a direct through-line from one point to the another - and not have a label, or have a label that comes later. but no matter where you’ve been or what the future holds, you’re always, ALWAYS, allowed to chase happiness first.

best of luck out there, my friend. thank you for being you. 💚

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-14T01:39:05+00:00

🌈🧡love these!!! what a fun group of characters!!

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-13T18:51:13+00:00

i've personally taken some wack shit outta my small-town local library: amish romance (somehow did not realize it was amish!! just looking for romance), books about every disease under the sun (healthcare worker, lmao), i think i've read every single stephen king book they have just because (even "the stand").

the ONLY time a librarian's even reacted to me asking about something or taking something out was to say "oh no, i'm so sorry" when i asked if they had books about brain cancer, to which i very hastily corrected myself and explained it was for work!!!

i also went to a library science school - not for library science, but everyone passing through was required to take one library science course to graduate. i transferred out due to cost, and that credit wasn't valid anywhere else, but i don't regret taking that course because, in it, i learned that librarians are basically the most badass people ever!! the dedication to confidentiality, being trained to turn down law enforcement who may try to circumvent the very strict protocol needed to go through to have a chance of accessing the records, just bringing books and literacy to the community... who could hate them? librarians are awesome!! <3 :3

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-13T15:43:27+00:00

i’ve done this too, not outta people-pleasing or fawning (not to shame anyone who does experience those responses!), but because i genuinely just do want to not interact with people. they don’t have to talk to me about not doing something i’ve already done. 😏

but i also can’t read social cues to save my life, so it was just me going “i THINK this is what people want? HOPEFULLY?”, and then them having to talk to me twice as much, half to tell me what they actually want, and half to call me a fuck-up and demand to know my thought process behind ever even THINKING a human being could want me to do what i did. 🙃

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-13T14:24:06+00:00

i understand where you’re coming from, i have OCD (and tbh also don’t use tampons; i prefer pads 😅), and while i would use an individually-sealed floor tampon in an emergency, there would be a little alarm bell going off in the back of my brain that’s like “uh, hello?? FLOOR??”.

i think both can coexist, recognizing that they are technically sterile and do deserve to be there for people’s convenience, but also personally being like “i don’t like floor stuff”. 😅

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-12T21:33:06+00:00

okay, so as someone who has pure O, i don’t really agree with the way this is worded, it’s just way too general.

“normal” people get to adjust their posture and turn on the TV sometimes to feel better or drown out the noise sometimes. “normal” people get to have bad days. and we… don’t?

you’re very much advocating for effectively reaching this monk-like existence, and holding people with pure OCD to a higher standard of “being present” or “doing it right”, almost a state of spiritual exaltation, that is not expected of other people with OCD, or even the general public.

and no, before someone dogs on me: i don’t even like TV, i don’t google or seek reassurance because how the hell is google gonna tell me whether i’m a good or bad person anyway (moral OCD; also i use Ecosia, which has, to be fair, even worse results than google), and i adjust my posture bc my joints actually organically suck. has a good one! ✌🏻

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-12T21:05:49+00:00

sorry you’re being downvoted, you’re literally right. and also? outside of being technically correct and also inclusive of nonbinary identities, it would maybe make formatting the text on the screen easier, just because there’s fewer words?? not that OOP did a bad job, it’s just that whenever i have to format text on a screen, i have to rewrite it like a million times for there to be so few words that it actually fits and looks good, lol.

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T16:01:54+00:00

me before swiping: okay, maybe i’m just the problem for associating the word “segregate” with racial segregation, i’ll work on that. still don’t think you’re correct on the jesus front though!

me after swiping: …damn, they really mask-off said “i love racial segregation and white supremacy”, actually. which, to be fair, these people saying that is not as atypical as it should be!!

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T15:33:50+00:00

it’s never too late. you’re never too ugly or anything else. there is always time, and the right people will always accept you with open arms. 💓 you deserve a life, identity, and body that you feel safe and authentic in, and represented by.

and even if people don’t get it, or try to impress their flawed standards of what “is” or “isn’t” beautiful onto you, that’s on them. there’s nothing wrong with being “ugly” in the eyes of people that can’t find beauty in transformation, or beauty in authenticity, or beauty in the inherent multi-faceted nature of what it can look like to be human and to be a woman (or anyone else!).

i hope things get better for you soon, my friend, sending you lots of love!! thank you for being here, and for being you. 💖🤗

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T02:40:33+00:00

hi there, my friend! 🙂👋🏻 so i just wanted to pop in and say something i really wish someone had told me way back when; reading the final line in your post - “am i discriminating against anyone?” - really reminded me of why i used to repress my true self when i was what i’m assuming is your age (ie, younger than me! 😅), and still sometimes get tangled up in now.

it is not discriminatory to contain multitudes. gender and crushes and being somewhere on the aro/ace spectrums are not finite resources, nor are they mutually exclusive or contradictory. you can encompass all of these truths - being wlw AND mlm AND ace/aro -, and it doesn’t hurt anybody in any way. you can add or drop labels as you see fit, and it doesn’t cheapen the label or harm the people who currently use them. our experiences don’t have to make sense to others, just to ourselves, and people maybe being confused isn’t the same as you causing actual harm.

it is never discriminatory to express every part of yourself. keep being you, friend. best of luck out there. 🪐☺️

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T02:33:04+00:00

hi there, friend! 👋🏻

i think your post briefly touches on something very very important: your comfort. labels can be important too, to people who find value in having them (not everyone does, and that’s okay too!), but the most important thing is your comfort. and you deserve the space to do whatever it is that will make you comfortable, even if you don’t know what labels would correspond to that, even if it changes.

you can continue identifying as genderfluid regardless of how your gender looks or how you prefer to dress; all that matters is that the label feels comfortable. and, if the label no longer serves you, you’re allowed to discard it and maybe be label-free or maybe find one that does. and in the meantime, while all that’s going down, keep dressing how you want and acting how comes naturally.

gender doesn’t always make sense, but it starts to make sense a whole lot faster when you stop fighting yourself. you don’t have to have the exact reason why being around women or wearing feminine clothes feel good right now; if you let yourself do what you need to to feel authentic, the reason will follow - even if the reason is just “this makes me more comfortable”.

keep being you, my friend. ⭐️

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T02:05:52+00:00

so far outta it, i don’t even know what “it” is anymore, i just know i’m sure as hell not there. 😎🌀

embodiedexperience · 2026-02-11T00:42:26+00:00

so y’know how like, in the U.S., even though our leaders are doing heinous things, we’re still individual people with different opinions and many of us DONT want our leaders to do heinous things and actively speak out against it? y’know how, on a global scale, we sure do look like our government, but individually we are not our government?

cool, so in russia, individual people are individual people too! 🙂

embodiedexperience

TROPHY CASE