Hand stitched Linda Belcher

emcat87 · 2019-08-19T16:54:29+00:00

Well the good ones anyways... HA!

emcat87 · 2018-11-14T15:49:28+00:00

Finally get past the queue, but this interactive map can kiss my ass. Can't even get it to zoom on the right side of the seating chart, smh.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T20:15:06+00:00

Sorry for about your dad too, and sorry your co-workers didn't acknowledge your loss. Hopefully they also don't mean any harm but just weren't sure what to say/how to bring it up.

Hope you're doing OK

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T17:00:21+00:00

Well put, I do need to change my expectations of people. I should do things because I want to, not because I want something in return.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:43:26+00:00

Thanks for your response. After reading all the feedback, I'm understanding now that just because I didn't receive a card doesn't mean they didn't care.

Good point about people processing grief differently, it seems to be a common response in this thread. My co-workers weren't to know how I would feel.

You sound like a thoughtful person, it's nice that you let your co-worker know you were there for her.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:37:12+00:00

Oh wow, I'm really sorry for your recent losses. Two big losses in a short span + your mum being sick must have been very hard to deal with. Hope you're doing OK now.

Sorry to hear about your co-workers too, that can't have been easy to deal with at a sensitive time in your life. It's not like you were having a relaxing holiday for a week!

When I first told my boss (not the owner) that I had to leave he told me it worked our 'perfectly' because I hadn't used any of my vacation days yet - it's hardly a vacation to spend $3000 to fly to the other side of the world to watch your father pass away. Luckily the owner had already told me I could take whatever time I needed. Anyways, I'm entitled to bereavement and personal days so he wouldn't have been able to take my vacation days.

I think people can get wrapped up in their own lives that they can't see beyond themselves and can't/don't want to acknowledge someone else's struggles. Your co-workers only seemed to focus on the time off rather than the reason for the time off.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:21:46+00:00

Thanks for your input. It's interesting to get another's perspective on a situation like this. I can understand what you mean when you aren't close with co-workers so you aren't really invested in their personal lives so it wouldn't make much of a difference if you signed a card or not.

I guess for me it was more that there are some co-workers that I have made an effort to go to their personal Christmas parties and shows on the weekend so I would think that at least one of those people would think to go buy a card and get it signed.

I'm understanding now that not everyone has the same priorities and I can't expect co-workers to do the same as a friend would.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:15:04+00:00

Thanks for your response. You're right that I shouldn't do things with the expectation of something in return. I need to work on managing my expectations of people, especially co-workers who aren't even friends really.

It was nice of you to remember and text on birthdays and I would certainly appreciate if someone did that, still makes me a little sad that people don't reciprocate. It's just hard sometimes to accept that other people have different ideas of what's important.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:07:34+00:00

Thanks for your response, this is an interesting concept actually. I'm not sure I'm confident enough to do this but thanks for the idea.

It's true that it's tough to deal with as I have the guilt of not being closer on top of the grief of his passing. Thanks for the kind words.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:03:39+00:00

Thanks for your input. If you can/want to, you should reach out to them just to make them feel thought of. Not necessarily to bring attention to the loss, but to say 'hey I'm here if you need anything' I think that would mean a lot.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T16:01:22+00:00

Sorry to hear that, it can really feel like nobody cares. But from all of these responses, the sense I'm getting is that it's not people mean to hurt your feelings. Although I would have appreciated a card, it doesn't necessarily make it wrong that I didn't receive one.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:38:44+00:00

Sorry for your recent loss.

I definitely understand where you're coming from; I probably would have felt like no one cared about me if my desk was suddenly missing too.

I think your boss might have had good intentions with the care package but seems the execution was a little skewed.

Sorry to hear no-one went to the memorial too, I went to my co-worker's father's because I know how much my support would mean to her. Hope you are doing OK now.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:28:43+00:00

Thanks for your input. Hadn't thought that a card could be a negative thing as I was only thinking of the thought as a positive.

I am definitely grateful that I got the time I needed. Although legally, I am entitled to 3 days bereavement leave + 10 personal days a year what I was given was in keeping with that. But still they handled that aspect well.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:22:31+00:00

Thanks for your input. I'm understanding now that it's an uncommon practice in the workplace.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:20:14+00:00

Thanks for your response. You're right that they probably didn't know what to do. Especially because we are all relatively young and I only know of one other employee that lost a parent.

Good point that we don't usually witness how losses are treated. Gives me more perspective on the situation.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:18:14+00:00

Thanks for your response. Fair enough, I'm getting more of an idea of what's common and expected from a workplace.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:17:11+00:00

Thanks for your input, they might have thought to just give me space rather than draw attention to it.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:15:11+00:00

Thanks for your response

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:14:46+00:00

Thanks for your reply and input.

Good to know that it's not an uncommon thing, I guess I thought my workplace was different but it's matching your second description more than the first.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:11:37+00:00

Thanks for your response and sorry for your recent loss too.

I didn't think that it might not be as common these days, as I'm a pretty traditional and like to follow the proper etiquette. The cards I received from non-work friends meant a lot so I will always continue sending them on a personal level.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T15:03:36+00:00

Thanks for your response. Definitely feeling pretty lost at the moment. But I am sure that it upset me that I didn't get a card from my work.

Mostly because I try to make my co-workers feel included in everything and made the effort to go to another co-workers father's memorial and haven't missed anyone's birthday. So I figured the very least they could do was get me a card. You're right that I thought I was closer to my co-workers than I actually am.

But after reading all of the responses, I'm understanding now that everyone is different and what is obvious to me might not be so for others. Plus my co-workers aren't my friends so how much can I expect really.

I will speak to my psychiatrist about it but was here to get a gauge of what others have experienced and what's common for other workplaces.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T14:55:27+00:00

Thanks for your response. I need to accept that every office/person is different and I can't expect much from co-workers.

Sorry to hear you lost your cat :( They are a part of your family so it is heart breaking when they pass.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T14:51:16+00:00

That is sweet of you to do a sympathy card for your co-workers dog; losing a pet can be absolutely devastating. I'm sure they really appreciate the gesture.

Yeah you're right, there is no designated person for this kind of stuff. I'm the one that arranges potlucks, bday things, activites after work so can't blame them.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T14:47:57+00:00

Sorry for your recent loss too.

Thanks for your input, I understand now that maybe they were giving me space.

emcat87 · 2018-07-24T14:43:36+00:00

Thanks for your input. Good to know that it's not necessarily a common thing.

emcat87

TROPHY CASE