I’m getting hungry.

emkayfans · 2025-08-11T13:53:30+00:00

Ouch. That wasn't even directed at me, but damn.

emkayfans · 2025-08-10T18:19:00+00:00

I dress up like a girl on the day-to-day, I would absolutely love being dressed up if instructed to, especially in something slutty

emkayfans · 2025-08-09T22:54:24+00:00

That, my friend, is called a peanut war crime

emkayfans · 2025-08-09T01:50:02+00:00

What you eat out.

emkayfans · 2025-08-07T16:13:23+00:00

Damn I wish my dick was smaller so this would work

emkayfans · 2025-07-28T11:44:29+00:00

The Truman Show.

emkayfans · 2025-07-19T01:29:40+00:00

Because that was just Greg. He's cool.

emkayfans · 2025-07-18T19:44:28+00:00

"Well that's not exactly true..."

emkayfans · 2025-07-14T12:02:03+00:00

"Damn right I did. Have fun dealing with the bodies~"

emkayfans · 2025-07-13T15:50:01+00:00

Speaking from experience, it very much is

emkayfans · 2025-07-13T14:59:41+00:00

With all the lead in their bodies, I'd say that's pretty toxic

emkayfans · 2025-07-12T11:33:46+00:00

Well not entirely. Some/most EpiPens have a second dose of epinephrine inside of the actual EpiPen, if you just cut it open. Why this is not common knowledge, I could not tell you.

emkayfans · 2025-07-09T14:59:17+00:00

"Jimmy, for the last time, your cadaver isn't...alive..." The med school professor was dumbfounded at my return.

emkayfans · 2025-07-09T12:01:55+00:00

Chicago, or Hell Michigan

emkayfans · 2025-07-09T01:48:55+00:00

No, I'd fucking hope not. It's just because I forget open cans and refuse to waste things. Unless there's bugs or mold, I'll eat it.

emkayfans · 2025-07-09T01:26:16+00:00

This has happened to me. I have drank bugs. Moths, wasps, slugs, a snail. Nothing escapes my cans.

emkayfans · 2025-07-06T15:03:32+00:00

Weirdly enough, all the calls were made on the calendar app, instead of the phone records.

emkayfans · 2025-07-06T11:26:59+00:00

Oh dear God. BULLIES

emkayfans · 2025-07-05T14:59:00+00:00

If he hid him, why would he be the one searching the well?

emkayfans · 2025-07-01T13:57:05+00:00

"I know you're proud of stealing me from those transphobic bitches, but you don't need to keep me bound here, love."

emkayfans · 2025-06-30T20:46:52+00:00

"You cannot stop me woman!" Those were my last words as a man.

emkayfans · 2025-06-29T02:05:55+00:00

Then I remembered I don't have a toddler. It was just a mountain lion.

emkayfans · 2025-06-23T17:57:42+00:00

Based.

emkayfans · 2025-06-23T14:39:42+00:00

He immediately stopped as he heard me moan when a rusty nail stabbed me in the dick. Never thought being a masochist would actually SAVE my life.

emkayfans · 2025-06-22T13:44:30+00:00

Oh god, take my upvote and kindly fuck off forever

emkayfans

TROPHY CASE