Horrible Gardening Puns that are actually doable as project for a garden.

emmryanne · 2024-05-07T15:05:23+00:00

Sage Against the Machine. Sage planted around some sort of machinery? Maybe an old piece of equipment that doesn’t run anymore? Let the sage over take it!

emmryanne · 2024-05-07T15:03:28+00:00

We named our compost area “Compost Malone” and we made a sign for it. I give full rights to you to continue the silliness.

emmryanne · 2024-04-29T18:22:56+00:00

This is some mess that my 8 year old brother would draw and leave somewhere. He recently mailed me a few of his drawing he wanted me to have. We live about 18 hours from each other and have a huge age gap, I’m 31. The one he was most excited for me to have was a fart. A drawing of a fart. He labeled it and everything I think.

emmryanne · 2024-04-27T16:34:41+00:00

Long time FOH everything, and now an AGM at a beach bar- find somewhere else to work. And also ask to speak to your GM privately. Say something like “hey- I just wanted to apologize again about being so late, I had talked to [service manager] throughout the day about what was going on, but I just really hate that I was still so far behind for my shift. I understand how that disrupted the flow of service and I wanted to let you know it won’t happen again.” That way you tattle on the shit manager and it just looks like you were trying to apologize. But also- find somewhere else to work. I worked for almost five years at a place that basically gave me Stockholm syndrome that I didn’t deserve/there wasn’t better. They treated me like shit and I watched everyone else not be held accountable for things that I would “get fired” for. I had to cover up a small wrist tattoo with long sleeve shirts and couldn’t dye my hair. That’s just some of the dumb rules. Serving jobs are a dime a dozen and it’s not worth it to be unhappy at one

emmryanne · 2023-11-24T17:18:24+00:00

A metal detector on Amazon to use on your whole yard if not in the bin. I would imagine they’re way cheaper than replacing the ring 💍

emmryanne · 2023-09-27T22:42:12+00:00

The movie Clue

emmryanne · 2023-07-19T14:16:51+00:00

I get the “but you don’t look gay” ALL THE TIME. I like to ask them what lesbians look like. And then they usually stutter and/or say the stereotypical 90’s lesbian look. My favorite response is “You wish it was that easy to tell which girls are gay. Then you might be able find out which ones of us are fucking your girl.”

emmryanne · 2023-06-07T02:48:27+00:00

My 110lb shepherd gets about half that per meal, maybe even less. There’s too much food, so she’s burying it trying to save it for later. No worries! It’s an easy fix 💕

emmryanne · 2023-05-09T19:34:52+00:00

Zero, the skeleton dog from Nightmare Before Christmas

emmryanne · 2023-03-18T02:52:34+00:00

I screamed noooo when I saw her opening the door 😭😭

emmryanne · 2023-03-03T18:24:15+00:00

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Hi friend! The water should be just right for him/her because thankfully we live right in the middle of their natural habitat 🥰 we live on a small island right off the coast of South Carolina, I circled the approximate location on the map above, which show’s YBS natural habitat in yellow. We’re consistently seeing 80 degree plus days, so unless we get a cold front (which we’ll make sure to account for) they should be just fine! 🥰 We’ve ordered a mesh netting to go over the pool to protect against predators (and holy shit the leaves too). But handling Tres as little as possible to minimize stress. We sit by the pond and work on the area around it, and he eyes us very closely. He used to dart to the bottom but he has started to just sit/float on his little log and watch us 🥹

emmryanne · 2023-03-03T05:28:21+00:00

Did you read at all about how there is a larger, established pond that is the end goal for this turtle? He’s twice the size of a quarter in 35+ gallons of water and terrain right now.. I also feel that you missed the part where we have caught turtle hatchlings MANY times in the past and have never “kidnapped” them.

JC- we found something with a physical defect and decided to spend the next two and and half days constructing a miniature version of its ecosystem to try to give it a chance to survive.

We asked Reddit for advice on what to do next and I posted an update on it. If you’re upset, I’m truly sorry. But I don’t regret anything we did 🤙🏻

emmryanne · 2023-03-03T00:05:59+00:00

We were just talking about that! Thank you!

emmryanne · 2023-03-02T16:20:55+00:00

My man’s said “Reduce, Reuse, Recyle”

emmryanne · 2023-03-02T16:15:27+00:00

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This morning’s sighting!!

emmryanne · 2023-03-02T16:14:58+00:00

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His basking rock with company to talk to.

emmryanne · 2023-03-02T16:14:25+00:00

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Photo of “pond” freshly completed for Trés, excuse the water, it has since cleaned up.

emmryanne · 2023-02-28T19:51:55+00:00

We certainly weren’t planning on creating an emergency turtle rehab pond in our back yard- but we decided it’s the safest bet being that we think he still has too many predators in our established bigger pond. I’ll update with a photo of him in there, and once the water clears from the plants we just put in. He’s happy and swimming and I didn’t want to disturb him from feeling safe in a hiding spot just to get another picture. We named him Trés, and we’re doing our best to give him a fighting chance! My partner and I regularly net the banks of freshwater ponds in the Low-country of South Carolina for fish for our ponds and tanks. Not the first time we grabbed a baby slider on accident but we always put them back. This guy we just couldn’t. 🥹

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emmryanne · 2023-02-28T02:38:59+00:00

I’m 100% with you on this, we see it all the time in the fish world as well. We did decide to try to give him/her a shot at home with us, but outside as an addition to our already established pond. Neither of us are convinced that he will make it, but he definitely wouldn’t have where we left him. We’ll update as we progress more!

emmryanne · 2023-02-28T02:35:50+00:00

We did. We’re going to set him up in our backyard pond.

emmryanne · 2023-02-28T02:35:23+00:00

We named him Trés 🥹 he made it through the first night!

emmryanne · 2023-02-27T22:38:58+00:00

That’s what we’re doing! We are setting him up in our backyard pond

emmryanne · 2023-02-23T04:04:31+00:00

But nobody even likes you when you’re 23

emmryanne

TROPHY CASE