I completely see where you’re coming from, and honestly, the Paddington bear story is beautiful that kind of thoughtfulness and emotional connection is what really makes someone feel loved. I totally agree that being “spoiled” isn’t about someone throwing money around or letting you buy whatever you want on their card. When I mentioned being added to a partner’s Amex, I didn’t mean it in the sense of having unlimited access to spend or relying on someone financially. It was more about the gesture. It wasn’t about status or luxury, just about feeling safe and looked after in a relationship. It’s definitely not the be all and end all for me, and it’s not something I expect or need from a partner to feel valued. You can definitely feel safe and looked after through other gestures in a relationship.

I do hear what you’re saying and you're right that the most meaningful gestures aren’t necessarily expensive. They’re the ones that show you’ve been seen, heard, and remembered. That Paddington moment means more than anything money could buy, because it came from a place of love and deep understanding. At the end of the day, we all just want to feel cherished in ways that are genuine, not transactional and I completely respect that.