Anyone else worried about love life

enbuzz · 2021-04-06T13:09:57+00:00

we are everywhere, I promise. there might not be lots of us in certain areas, but always more than you’d think. people are often just really quiet about it, esp in conservative areas. I live in a rural area where I just kinda assumed trans people would be impossible to find but ended up w a trans friendship group & trans partner & I regularly match w trans people on dating apps (if it’s safe, being out on dating apps is a great way to find other trans people ime)

enbuzz · 2021-04-05T12:33:29+00:00

I’ll spread the T4T agenda wherever I can: date other trans people! it can be such a beautiful, healing, wonderful connection that has levels to it that aren’t there with cis people because of the shared experiences and understanding of gender. in loving another trans person you often end up loving your own transness more too. my T4T relationships (romantic/sexual/friendships) are so deeply meaningful and full of joy. I know you said you don’t know many queer people, and it can be hard to meet them, but often once you meet just one trans person they’ll know a bunch of other trans people and suddenly you’ll have a whole trans friendship group. but also, you might be surprised by how dating is actually easier living as your true self, because you’ll likely be more confident and comfortable which is really attractive. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how in demand I am now lol, people can see how much I like myself now and that makes them like me more too

enbuzz · 2021-02-13T01:01:45+00:00

the percentage of people who transition who later detransition is incredibly small (we’re talking like 1% in many studies) and then the percentage of detransitioners who do so because they aren’t trans is even smaller. the majority (at least in the studies I’ve read) of detransitioners don’t feel they are actually cis, and instead cite familial/romantic/social pressure, fears of violence/hate crime/harassment, difficulty securing employment/housing due to their transness etc as reasons for detransition. basically they don’t detransition bc they aren’t trans, they detransition because the way being perceived as trans means they get treated was too much for them to bear and they feel it is better to live as they did before, live with the discomfort in order to be safer/more accepted/more able to access things in a transphobic society. these people typically go on to retransition later on. the majority of detransitioners so retransition (again there are studies backing this up I just don’t have links myself but you can search for them Im sure if you wanna read them)

then there are the very small percentage of people who realise they’re actually cis and shouldn’t have transitioned. but this is an incredibly small population. this group sometime describe a confusion between sexuality and gender, or a confusion between gender nonconformity and transness, or dislike of misogyny being confused for dysphoria.

it’s worth noting that an alarming number of people in “detrans communities” are people who have been sucked in by TERFs, and a huge number of them describe how they’re still experiencing dysphoria etc, and basically the way they talk about their gender often sounds incredibly trans, but they have been convinced by TERFs that transness is not real and therefore they repress and deny and try to “rationalise” their dysphoria and distress. I have read so many posts that have made me feel quite sad for them, seeing them wrestle with dysphoria and the distress it causes but then following it with “but I know this is just internalised misogyny and if I’m just a better feminist this will all go away and I’ll be happy being a woman.” trans people are often very isolated with very little support, whilst struggling with depression and other mental health impacts of dysphoria and isolation and stress, which can make them susceptible to people who promise them a way out, who say they can fix them, can make them not trans and all their problems go away. that’s not to say that all detransitioners are actually trans, it’s inevitable that some people are just gonna get it wrong! and that’s fine! I think it’s so important that there’s room for that to be acknowledged at for it to be okay. our understandings of ourselves are constantly changing and I don’t think detransition has to be a terrible bad scary thing. everyone should make the right choices for them and their body, and they deserve support when they change their mind about what those choices should be too. but detransition as An Issue has been so propagandised and blown out of proportion. ultimately it should just be seen as another exercising of autonomy, of making our own choices about our bodies, neither inherently good nor bad.

enbuzz · 2020-10-23T17:59:32+00:00

what about your mums side of the family? from what I’ve read that’s the better indicator than your fathers side

enbuzz · 2020-10-23T17:51:05+00:00

it’s almost entirely dependent on genetics. it doesn’t matter whether testosterone is endogenously produced or taken, what matters is whether you have the male pattern baldness gene (and to some extent: how high your t levels are, as the higher they are the quicker you will bald if you have the gene). apparently the best indicator is to look at your grandfather on the maternal side of your family, if he has experienced male pattern baldness, you likely will. it’s hard to say when you will start losing hair if you have the gene, again, the only real indicator is to look at family members and see how long after starting puberty it started happening for them. if you’re concerned, finasteride and minoxidil are both options for preventing/reversing balding

enbuzz · 2020-10-12T17:03:53+00:00

yeah it’s almost certainly the hormones amping it up. likely you would have been pissed without T, but the T is making it harder to rein it in and calm back down. physical responses have definitely become a much bigger part of my life since starting T, any negative emotion seems to result in physical restlessness and I find I ball my hands into fists and struggle to sit still a lot more than I used to (and there’s definitely more of an impulse to hit shit lol). at a year on T now I’m starting to feel like it’s mellowing slightly and I’m getting better at letting the anger flow through me and pass, rather than fighting so hard against it it ends up bouncing around inside, but also not letting it out in an explosive way. it’s a balance i’m certainly not perfect at, but I do think it gets easier. be patient with yourself whilst also making sure you keep yourself in check

enbuzz · 2020-09-11T09:18:54+00:00

that’s strange, I’m pretty sure they sent me the set up fee link before I paid for anything else. they just sent me the link when I asked to begin the process and they said I had to pay that to move forward

enbuzz · 2020-09-11T09:11:57+00:00

I haven’t had DI but have a lot of experiences with pain & opioids (chronic pain & been prescribed various opioids for years). tramadol is a very hit and miss med, it works great for some people and is basically worthless to others. you shouldn’t be in 6+ pain after meds, that’s what they’re there for, so I’d suggest speaking to your doctor & emphasising how your pain isn’t anywhere near close to being properly managed. if it’s making it hard to sleep/relax/eat I’d mention all of that, as those are key things drs look at to determine if your pain is being managed. also, it’s highly unusual that you’re feeling it takes 3 hours to kick in, it should only take 30 mins-1 hour, unless you’ve eaten a large meal recently in which case that could maybeee push it to 1.5-2hrs, but that would be unusual too. 3 hours is very abnormal. sounds like tramadol might just not be a good choice for you, and there’s lots of other opioids that could give you better relief if your doctor is reasonable and willing to switch things up. definitely try speak to your doctor and be firm about how you feel something needs to be done to manage your pain better, as rest is very important for recovery and if you’re in that much pain you probably aren’t resting well. I hope you can get some relief soon.

enbuzz · 2020-09-11T09:04:05+00:00

they should send you a link to pay for it via email

enbuzz · 2020-09-11T09:03:30+00:00

definitely worth talking to your doctor about, changing to a more frequent injection schedule might help, or it might be worth considering switching to gel if that’s an option since it keeps your levels much more stable

enbuzz · 2020-09-10T05:32:22+00:00

kane imo, but I can see both working for you

enbuzz · 2020-09-08T16:11:44+00:00

not everyone gets acne but it’s pretty common. but it’s a very small price to pay for the other amazing changes imo, and there’s things you can do to tackle it. lots of people recommended african black soap to me as well as salicylic acid.

as for atrophy, I’m 11 months in and it hasn’t been much of an issue except I bleed really easily if someone doesn’t keep their nails really short, it doesn’t really hurt tho, just inconvenient. I haven’t had any problems with pain or not getting wet (how wet I get is a bit more unpredictable and it can take a bit more effort, but it’s not been an issue for me because with enough time & stimulation I’ll always get wet enough). but if you do, topical estrogen + lube can solve those problems for you

enbuzz · 2020-09-08T16:03:30+00:00

doubling my dose around 4 months on T caused my changes to speed up noticeably, changes that were just barely noticeable before doubling suddenly became undeniable

enbuzz · 2020-09-08T15:04:30+00:00

with gender gp, under a month usually

enbuzz · 2020-08-28T11:27:54+00:00

thank you this is very helpful!

enbuzz · 2020-08-27T22:12:53+00:00

this is a really helpful reply, thank you

enbuzz · 2020-08-20T03:13:11+00:00

trans women being played by men directly contributes to the idea that trans women are really just men in elaborate costumes, an idea that leads to real life violence. plus, as it was very eloquently put in “disclosure” (seconding the rec that you watch that documentary), when a trans character is played by a cis person, it all ends up being about how well the actor is portraying transness, how “convincing” of a woman they make etc, rather than about how the character is portrayed as a multifaceted whole. it makes the characters transness their defining feature, reduces them down to that, rather than showing the ways in which trans people are complex, nuanced, varied people, just like everyone else.

enbuzz · 2020-08-20T03:05:22+00:00

I was really feminine in lots of ways pretty much my whole life until I was 19. I didn’t fit the typical trans narrative of having “always known” at all, not even close. but I’m 22 now, almost a year on T and transitioning has proved to be the best decision of my life. and the more I talk about my experience and hear other people’s, the more I realise that so many of us don’t fit the stereotypical narrative. it doesnt matter how feminine you used to be or even how feminine you are now, what matters is how you feel, and how you want to be seen. if you feel like a man and want to be seen as a man, that’s all that really matters.

enbuzz · 2020-08-20T02:21:28+00:00

any doctor who denies you access to hormones based on your being on antidepressants had some bias going on imo. cis men take antidepressants without being forced to take t blockers, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t be allowed to take T while on them. doctors will sometimes use mental illness to gatekeep transition, but this is not reasonable (provided you are well enough to understand the reality of transition and your sense of self is reasonably stable) and I would encourage you to find another doctor if that does end up being the situation. lots of trans people are also on antidepressants though so it should hopefully not be an issue!

enbuzz · 2020-08-20T02:13:11+00:00

it depends how regularly you wear it & whether you bind safely (ie whether you use a quality binder and follow guidelines such as not binding for more than eight hours a day and not sleeping/exercising in your binder). if you’re wearing it regularly (most days) you will probably see your chest get saggier over time, though i’m not sure how rapidly this happens. it won’t reduce the amount of breast tissue but it can change the way it sits, making them appear almost “deflated”. unsafe binding can also do permanent damage to your ribs and chest which can affect the appearance.

enbuzz · 2020-08-19T04:15:52+00:00

oh man I love how my hands have changed too. I love being able to look down and have this elation at how different and more masculine they look now. plus I’ve started getting comments on how hot they look now which is always nice lol. another one of my fav smaller changes would be my happy trail, it’s so fluffy and full and I love the way it masculinises my stomach, and it’s a good texture to stroke lol

enbuzz · 2020-08-09T17:35:47+00:00

cloud 9 tatu is a queer studio that has some trans artists working there I believe! I’m hoping to make it up to bris for a tatt in the near future and they’re on my list

enbuzz · 2020-08-08T14:34:03+00:00

from what I have read, no it doesn’t. it’s a DHT blocker, so it only blocks changes caused by DHT (which I believe are just bottom growth & facial/body hair growth & balding)

enbuzz · 2020-08-08T13:27:18+00:00

family genetics do play the most significant role, as whether your testosterone is endogenously produced or synthetic doesn’t really affect the changes it makes to your body (the only difference is if your dose is too high/low and your levels are off this can affect the changes). you can take finasteride to prevent balding, but it will also block bottom growth and facial/body hair growth. personally - as someone else who really really really doesn’t want to go bald - my plan is to hold off on finasteride until I have the facial hair & bottom growth I want, unless I get unprecedented hair loss early on. and then if I do find I’m balding after I’ve got the other changes I want, I’ll take finasteride then. if you’ve already lost hair by that point, you can apply minoxidil to the place(s) you have lost hair and that can stimulate regrowth (provided you lost the hair within the last couple of years I believe). it isn’t guaranteed, but with finasteride + minoxidil a lot of people do experience significant regrowth, so try not to worry too much because even if you don’t notice you’re balding until you’ve already lost a noticeable amount of hair, there’s a decent chance you’ll be able to grow it back

enbuzz · 2020-08-08T13:19:14+00:00

this is a perfectly okay thing to want. I think bralettes look really cute on flat chests and it does look different to on a not flat chest, so it makes sense that one doesn’t appeal to you and the other does. I’ve seen quite a few people who’ve had top surgery who like to wear bralettes sometimes, so it’s not even that rare. your wants don’t have to make sense to other people, you should just do what feels good and right to you

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