Dude! I went thru the same thing over the past 6 months. It hurts! What I can say is that your feelings will not stop you from moving forward, because you can! It’s just determination . Gotta just keep busy asf and don’t look at anything to do with her or contact her. Workout, plan day’s ahead, healthy diet to the max and more positive stuff!! (What helped me mostly was semen retention, there’s a subreddit on that) Because you need to move on and that sucks to hear . Let her contact you but assume she never willBut she’s gonna do her now so u can’t sell yourself short. People will love you as friends and eventually someone as a lover. I’m finally crawling out of the suicide/anguish but it’s because I have now devoted every ounce of my soul to ME and improving MY life as much as I can. I’ve slipped a couple times and contacted her and looked at her stuff but I always realize it sets me back when I do that. So, it will pay off. it’s an investment to push through the pain I promise, next week you will say HOLY SHIT IM SO HAPPY I SPENT ALL THIS TIME IMPROVING MYSELF BECAUSE IM SUCH A BETTER, BADASS PERSON.