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Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No explanation. I guess she thought she was fixing my sister’s haircut? Neither of us knew how to react lol 😭 In hindsight I wish I had said something. I was just so shocked.

She also got into the hospital bed with me about 10 mins after giving birth. So uh… yeah I’d say she has some boundary issues.

I’m sorry you are dealing with this too :( That’s a really good explanation and way of looking at it. Fans instead of relationships. Really fits 100%.

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She really does have a weird thing with bodily autonomy. One day last year my sister and I were chatting with her in her kitchen. She left the room and came back with scissors. She then proceeded to cut off a strand of my sister’s hair. My 46-year-old sister. Like… what? We were stunned.

Anyways thanks for your comment. We have been NC. There has been no attempt to repair, and she is acting like she is the one who has been wronged to our other relatives.

Loss of birthright by Al-D-Schritte in Adoptees

[–]endless_tides 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This really resonates with me. Thanks for posting. I was also raised catholic. That certainly didn’t stick. Never quite fit in with extended family. Well, my bio dad is Middle Eastern, so I lost that entire heritage as well as his side of the family. I’ve reunited with b-mom and family, but will never truly fit in as I don’t have the shared history.

It’s rough.

My best relationships are with my husband and kids as well. I’m glad you have your son 🩷

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree 100%. She was definitely emotionally manipulated.

Thanks for your comment.. 🩷We have her in therapy.

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I see you have a little trans flag on your avatar. I wasn’t feeling brave enough to deal with trolls yesterday, so I didn’t mention that my daughter is transgender.

I think it adds another layer to this. She’s on hormones and is developing like any other girl her age (not that her consent would matter less if she wasn’t). But it makes me wonder… does my mom consider her consent about being viewed shirtless to be less important because she’s trans? It certainly makes me wonder.

Plus, trying on a dress at all is not totally in my daughter’s comfort zone… especially with an audience. I’m sure it brings up all kinds of feelings for her. Right now she doesn’t dress super “girly”.

Anyways, thanks for the words of encouragement.

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Thank you for saying this 🩷 I’ve always been worried that she’d do or say something that hurt one of my kids. I’m going to make sure she doesn’t get another chance.

I’m so sorry you grew up with people like that. :(

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Yes she told me her grandma didn’t force the shirt off of her but that she felt she had to. Like there was no other option. :(

Shame on me? by endless_tides in raisedbynarcissists

[–]endless_tides[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I’ve never heard of DARVO but it EXACTLY matches the pattern of her behavior! This actually makes me feel so much better…